Would You Die For What You Beleive In? (The Walking Dead Fic part 1)
by Acid Rain2345
Summary: The dead walking around? 'No way,' Angel thought starring at Sunny it had to be bullshit. Through all the chaos and death months later after she lost Jewel she thought it was all over. Gun ready to put a bullet in her head it'd be so easy. That was until Daryl Dixon walked in to save her from herself. Her insanity made him take a second look, after he had made himself walk away.
1. The Outbreak

Prologue~

The outbreak . . . it was something you only saw in the movies no one ever thought it could happen. It just seemed impossible at first. The dead getting up walking around with one need . . . hunger. A lot of people died in the beginning of it because of panic they didn't know what to do. Ripped to shreds in a matter of minutes only to turn into one of them later. Maybe some people had enough sense to run away from the big cities where there were less people to actually turn.

Among that belief were very few. Angel believed it after nearly dieing in a small motel parking lot if it weren't for Sunny she would've died. She had dealt with many tragic situations before but none like this. It was that one summer's evening when she was to fly to Thailand the next morning on a job. The beginning of it happened so fast, the government lost control and people were dieing left and right.

In her profession it was her job to keep people safe from bad things, but this was something she was never trained for.

Chapter One: The Outbreak

To be summer it was pretty damn cold that night. She had heard a lot of police and ambulance sirens passing by heading for Atlanta. She thought nothing of it at the time. She had kicked back on the scratchy nicotine stained white sheets reading into to a book preparing her conscience for what she would have to do for the next week in Thailand. She was half way through the book when she became restless and couldn't stay still any longer. She threw the book onto a table nearby sighing deeply.

"This is fucking boring," she said to herself before standing up and stretching. She would've gone to sleep but her mind was restless and her body nervous for the flight that was only a few hours away. She started pacing the room after turning on a song off her phone. It was the only thing to keep her sane enough to stay in the small room. This was normal behavior for her; it was somewhat like meditation before she went on any job because deep down she knew it could be her last.

A loud knock came from outside her door and she stammered to the door after taking a shot of vodka from a small flask she carried around with her religiously. She swung the door open looking into a terrified face. The man was about a foot taller then Angel, skinny, green sobering eyes, and a clean cut shave. She stared at Sunny for a few moments with a shocked expression. She was going to start asking why he was there instead of wherever he was supposed to be. He pushed her into the hotel room and locked the door behind him. He caught her eyes for a moment and they just stared at each other. He broke away from her glance and turned on a TV nearby watching an emergency broadcast that repeated itself over and over. Angel just watched him for a while until her mind grew anxious with questions, paying no mind to the static ridden program.

"Sunny what's goin' on?" she asked demandingly with a hint of a Scottish accent. "Axel didn't say shat to me about ya' comin' a long." He said nothing in return only starred at the TV further. "Sunny what tha' fuck is wrong!" she yelled with a growl pushing him. He didn't sway from the shove only turned on his heel grabbing both of her shoulders starring at her intensely.

"Bad shit is going down. . ." he began before she shoved his arms away from her. "You wouldn't pick up your phone eelier and Axel sent me to tell you."

"Tell me what?" Her anger slowly faded away.

"A virus has been spread throughout the population and it's. . . don't fuckin' laugh at me. . . it's fuckin' causing dead people to get up and walk around eating other people it's spreading like a wildfire. . . it just came out of no where." The same accent Angel had started to come clearer in his words. She stayed silent for a moment glaring at him with pale blue eyes. She then gave a whoop of laughter.

"You need to stop watching all those horror films . . . At got ya' thinking crazy shat." The man appeared if he was about to scream at her but instead he angrily dug in his pocket pulling out his phone pulling up a video and tossing the phone to her. She pulled it out of the air quickly and let her eyes linger over the small screen.

"Axel sent me that." She paid his words no mind as she watched the short video. People that looked decayed limped around a busy street taking bites out of unsuspecting victims in the corner was a date and time which was only hours eelier. "I'm not babbling crazy shat Angel! At's really happening at's not a joke!" he yelled. Angel tossed the phone back to him and he caught it with ease.

"So what do ya' want me ta do about at? If this shat 'as really happenin' by now ere'd be so many walkin' around I'd have to rob a fuckin' military bunker ta get all the ammo." She chuckled trying to make light of the situation. It just made Sunny angrier that she could try and joke about what was happening.

"I don't fuckin' know Angel. For fucks sake we were never trained for this kind of shat!" Angel let her smile fade away and started pacing.

"Well what does Axel want us ta' do?"

"I don't know that either! Phone wont fuckin' work anymore but the broadcasts are telling everyone ta' head for tha' bigger cities."

"Well tat doesn't make very much sense . . . I mean tha' more people around tha' more chance of tha fuckers makin' a bigger outbreak. Makes sense. Do they want tha whole fuckin' population to fall in a week? Ya' know what brother . . . da' hell with this Resident Evil bull shat Oi'm' going ta Thailand like I was suppose ta." She then walked over to the small bed pulling out a large black bag. She pulled out a black sniper rifle and strapped it to her back. Sunny went into a silence just glaring at her watching her strap three holsters onto her belt. She filled two of the holsters with pistols and the last with a large hunting knife.

"What tha fuck are ya' doin'?" Sunny grumbled watching her intensely.

"If ya' ever fuckin' listen ya dumb twat ya would' a heard me say I'm going to Thailand . . . Oi'm not stayin' 'ere." She strapped one last weapon onto her back that happened to be a razor sharp machete.

"Well yer in for a fuckin' surprise! Tha airports are closed down . . ."

"Really?" she asked crisply her eyes changing to a dark red.

"Aye!" He said giving her a nod he looked to the floor his face downcast and baring little of hope.

"A've ya' actually seen one up close?" she asked in a softer tone filling her pockets with clips and bullets.

"Aye. Fuckin' bastard bit down into Mike. I thought he be alright but it's like they fuckin' movies ya' get bit ya' turn. I'm hoping it's all a bad dream . . . but each second proves ta be more real." She just stared at the floor for a few minutes stopping in her tracks. A tear crept up in her eye and she hid her face behind her brown hair.

"Did ya' shoot him?"

"Aye."

"At least ya' cared for him enough ta do that." She forged a fake smile upon her face wiping the tear away and looked at him. "So . . . Sunny what do ya' think we should do?"

"Help as many people as we can. Go ta Atlanta and see if there as anythin' we can do ta help." Angel sat on the bed thinking deeply. She grabbed one more little sack from under the bed that had a change of clothes for herself, a bottle of whisky, and a first aid kit. Before she threw the small sack over her shoulder she grabbed the book and threw it in as well. She stood turning to Sunny. Her mouth open but her words went unheard by a loud scream. They starred at each other for a moment before they ran out of the door entering a gruesome sight. The undead were munching on something and a little girl was trying to run from them. Angel instinctively took off in a run after the child before the undead could reach her. Sunny took off after the larger crowd trying to help whatever they were tearing apart.

Angel drew her knife and machete cutting the heads off the three walkers pursuing the child. She sleeved her blades yelling for the girl to stop. The girl turned tripping over her feet falling to the ground sobbing. Angel slowed her pace walking to her slowly. "Are ya' ok darlin'? Way are yer parents?" The girl sobbed until Angel reached her. She wrenched her arms tightly around Angel's neck as she stooped down to check on the young girl. Angel picked the girl up holding her tightly. "Way are yer mama and daddy?" she asked once again turning back to the hotel parking lot.

"They're there!" the girl cried loudly. She pointed where Sunny was slashing and hacking away at the monsters. Angel knew that they were torn to shreds by now. "Sunny! Where 'as yer' car?" she yelled over the moans and strange noises the creatures made.

"At's a fuckin' truck!" He threw his arm up using the gun he held to point the vehicle out. It was a black truck. Angel ran as fast as she could to the truck open the door and putting the little girl inside slamming the door behind her. "Stay 'ere!" she demanded and took after Sunny. She shot the closest once to him. "Sunny we have ta fuckin' go! Now!" Sunny looked at her and nodded his head. He slashed away at a few more near him before running towards the truck with Angel right behind. A hand caught Angel's arm causing her to stumble and she fell hard into the concrete almost knocking her out. With blurred vision she shot the thing that had grabbed her before the thing that was once a man had a chance latched his teeth into her. She stood quickly another one nearly tearing into her skin before Sunny shot it.

"Come da' fuck on Angel!" he screamed angrily holding the gun out of the truck window. She wasted no time them skidding herself across the hood to reach the passenger side. She jumped in with heavy breathing refusing to say a word. "What da' fuck as this?" he asked pointing to the little girl in the back seat after hitting the gas and getting on the road.

"What tha' hell yer' want me ta say Sunny? She jus' los' her Mah and Dad! Ya' wanted me ta leave her?" She screamed loudly causing the girl to cry. "Shut up!" Angel screamed throwing her hand on the back of the seat turning and starring at the girl. "Yer' alive aren't ya'!" The girl grew quiet with tears still streaming down her cheek.

"Well that's so fucking kind of ya' . . .Wha- If she dies in front of ya' at's ya' fuckin' fault. Dumb fuckin' twat!"

"I know tis' . . . wouldn't be tha first time an innocent dies because of me. She would've died back 'ere . . . jus' shut tha fuck up Sunny . . ." Her voice grew softer and her breathing calmed. "Atlanta then?"

"Aye." Sunny relaxed a bit.

The three said no more until the traffic on the highway grew and they had to stop for the lines of cars entering Atlanta on the four laned road. "What now?" Angel asked lowly.

"We go fuckin' around them." He pulled off to the emergency lane whizzing by the cars until a police officer stopped him by stepping in the way of the truck. Sunny slammed on brakes stopping before he hit the officer. "You have to wait," the man said after Sunny rolled the window down for him. Sunny quickly pulled out some short of badge he carried flashing it briefly.

"Don't argue wit' me. I'm here ta keep order in the city or do I have ta call my boss ta approve," Sunny said aggressively.

"Go ahead," the officer, ordered steeping away from the vehicle with a glare. Sunny sped back off.

When they entered the city it was pure chaos; people were screaming and crying walking down the streets in large crowds heading for the center, soldiers barking orders at the people, and the gunfires here and there. Sunny honked the horn aggressively trying to make the people move. When they didn't he slammed on brakes throwing the truck in park and shutting it off. He started grasping towards the floor grabbing weapons laid around strapping them anywhere he could to himself. "What da fuck are ya' doin'?" Angel questioned starring at him with her eyebrows knitted.

"We fuckin' walkin'!" he screamed hitting his fist against the roof of the vehicle.

"Calm down! Ya' scaring her!" Angel said jumping out slinging the door open to the back seat. She ordered for the girl to come gripping her tightly in her arms.

"Shut tha' fuck up! Twiddle fuckin' twat how tha fuck are ye' goin' ta' help with a fuckin' girl strapped ta' ya'!

"Fuck ya' Sunny," she growled pulling the girl tighter. "Yer gonna' be fine darlin'." She slammed the doors back shut waiting for Sunny to lock the truck up so they could make their way to the center of the city. It wasn't all that far. They ran the rest of the way stopping to take a breath here and there but not for long.

Sunny approached one of the soldiers pulling out his badge and flashing it. "Who's in charge 'ere?" he demanded starring the young man down.

"Follow me," the solider said walking under a small strip of tape and heading for a tent by a helicopter take off. The soldier pulled the opening back revealing an older man sitting at a small fold out table with paperwork all around him. "And who the fuck are you?" the man said not looking up from his paperwork.

"Sunny sir, under Axel we're here ta' help in whatever way we can." Angel had a bad feeling suddenly she needed to take the girl and get out of there right then. She said nothing as the two went on she only looked at the little girl in her arms who was still crying. As the two went on and Angel grew more restless screams pierced the night air outside the tent.

"Shat Sunny we gotta go!" Angel screamed dropping to her knees as gunfire rang out all around the small tent. The two men grew quiet for a few moments looking at Angel. "Fuck ya' Sunny!" She stood quickly drawing her pistol and running out of the tent she had to find a vehicle and get the hell out of there. The dead were all around ripping into civilians and soldiers. She stopped in her tracks for a moment just staring at the chaos. A shove made her move forward, she looked over her shoulder to see Sunny right behind her urging her with a hand gesture to keep moving. They shot threw some of the dead. Sunny ran ahead of her to a military suited up truck he jumped in, surprised to see keys in the ignition. Angel jumped in the passenger side. Sunny sped off knocking down a small tent heading east down the streets. At some point about daybreak they ran out of gas, as the vehicle rolled to a stop.

Angel starred at Sunny as he looked down at the floor letting his head rest on the steering wheel. "What now?" she asked softly still clinging onto the girl in her arms who had fallen asleep an hour before. He sighed heavily frustration and defeat oozing out with it.

"Angel . . . I don't know. How bout we start following tha movies for a wee' while? Grab some supplies . . ." his words fell short as he fell into silence.

"Tha country maybe?" Angel suggested with a small smile.

"Aye . . . that's what we'll do . . ."

"Aye. How bout a convenient store stock up on some smokes?" They started laughing starring at each other surprisingly it didn't wake the girl up.

"Let's go ya' twat." He opened the door and stepped down onto the pavement. Angel followed his lead carrying the girl. They walked a few abandoned streets breaking into stores taking food, water, and of course cartons of cigarettes. The girl woke up as they were in search for another vehicle.

"Mama?" she called out before opening her eyes and looking up at Angel. She began crying. Angel set the girl down and put her hand on her shoulder as Sunny walked ahead of her with a glare knitting his eyebrows. He knew having the girl with them was stupid; she'd be a big risk. "Darlin'?" Angel began getting the girl to look up. She starred into Angel's light orange eyes. " . . . I- Your Mah' she died for a good cause. Maybe at was to save ya' I don't know but hear me out . . . I know they loved ya' terribly and ya' loved them but . . . they can't be 'ere anymore they're looking out for ya' up there," she pointed to the grim sky. "But I'll be lookin' after ya' right 'ere an' I'll keep ya' safe 'til I breathe mah' last breath. Scout's honor." She held her fingers a certain way to the girl. She got the young girl to smile for a moment.

"So you'll be my new mama?" Angel was taken back for a moment but then smiled at the girl.

"Aye I will . . . what's yer name?"

"You talk funny," the girl laughed at the Irish mixed in Angel's country voice. "He he it's Jewel. What's yours?" Angel smiled brightly.

"It's Angel . . . I used ta' spend a lot of time 'an Ireland I jus' kinda picked up on 'at and-"

"Hey Angel come 'ere! Got a car started!" Sunny yelled from up the street sitting in a blue car. "Ya' ready?" Angel asked looking at the girl with a small smile. She nodded her head in agreement. She quickly snatched the girl into her arms and ran towards the car. She jumped in the passengers seat, letting Jewel sit in the middle. "You have a lot of tattoos," she said looking at Angel's arms that were covered in ink.

"Aye. Ya' shouldn't ever get any. People don't like tattoos."

"I like them my Daddy had a lot of tattoos and so did Mama." Angel smiled at the girl the best she could.

"I bet they were cool."

"They were." The girl grinned from ear to ear looking out the windows growing quiet.

A few hours later Sunny stopped in a yard of a rather small house with large wooden fence surrounding it. "Welcome ta our temporary home," Sunny said throwing the car in park grabbing his bag from the back seat and walking cautiously to the house with his gun raised. Angel looked at Jewel for a moment planting a small kiss on her forehead. "Darlin' stay 'ere until I get back," she said stepping out the door and closing all the doors behind her. The house had a large wooden fence around it. As Sunny hopped the fence she followed drawing her pistol as she fell landing solidly onto her feet. Her black combat boots making a thud as the hard dirt and rubber clashed. She quickly pulled out headphones and placed on in her ear hitting play on her phone as she watched Sunny run up to the house. A familiar song started blasting in one ear. 'The Inevitable Return of the Great White Dope' by Blood Hound Gang. She started bobbing her head up and down to the beat singing along loudly. She took off into a run busting down the front door. A few of the dead popped out here and there and she put a bullet through their heads. Sunny starred at her dropping the last of the dead. She turned dancing slinging her gun around wildly listening to the music. "Written on written off scoff callin' me a joke. I don't think that I'm a sell-out but I do "Enjoy Coke! "I struck gold but never took it for granted that's how I planned it so can it. Around the planet fans demand it and you'll never understand it. When I die no lie plan on mass pandemonium. They may display my brain in a pickle jar at the Smithsonian. The Return of the great white dope," she sung smiling at him.

He slapped his hand against his forehead and walked away. "Ya' wanna' go get that girl?" he asked before disappearing.

"Aye!" She smiled brightly running back outside. She quickly turned her phone off to save the battery and tucked the headphones back into her pocket. She reloaded her gun slipping the empty clip into her other pockets putting in a new one. She tried going threw the gate by holding out her hand to push it. Her body banged against it and after pushing with her shoulder she finally saw the lock on it. She decided to leave it and just hopped the fence going to the car and grabbing the little girl grabbing the bag with food and water inside throwing it over her shoulder. The cigarettes were already in her bag too precious to let out of her sight.

When she walked back up to the fence she was faced with a difficulty she couldn't scale it with the girl. "Darlin'" she said letting the girl stand on her feet. "Oi'm goin' ta' lift ya' up and I want ya' to sit on the fence 'till I can get up there ok?" The girl nodded and Angel quickly picked her up the girl and slung her arms on the top of the fence hanging on it tightly wanting to make Angel proud.

Angel scaled the fence quickly throwing one leg over before grabbing the girl. She was about to throw her other leg over and go down but the toe of her boot caught and she started falling. She quickly jerked her body around so she would land on her back and Jewel wouldn't get hurt. As her body collided with the hard ground the wind was knocked out of her and she let her grip on the girl go. Jewel sat on top Angel for a moment. "Angel are you ok?" she asked.

"I'm . . . fine," Angel wheezed with a lot of effort trying to breath. "Go sit on tha' porch." Jewel did as she was told and went and sat on the steps of the small porch around the house. When Angel was pretty sure Jewel was out of range she went to cussing. "Twiddly dumb fuck shat," she mumbled grabbing her gut wheezing heavily. "Freckin' tripe why de' fuck ye' fall yer' fuckin' eejit." Her accent came all the way out in her anger. A few moments later her breathing became normal and she stood walking towards the house. "Stay 'ere," she ordered Jewel walking inside. She saw the dead bodies had been cleaned out and she ventured to the back door. She slammed the door open stumbling out and down the steps.

Sunny had piled the bodies up and was now pouring some gas on them he had found in a utility shed in the corner of the yard. "Will ya' do da' honor Angel?" he asked holding a lighter out to her. She took it and lit the pile of bodies and the flames pushed her back into a stumble. Sunny laughed and patted her shoulder. "The girl ok?"

"Aye. . ." she looked at him a devious smile creeping onto the corner of her lips. "Yer' feckin' care don't ya'?"

"Never said 'at." His smile faded and he starred at the fire. "How 'bout a smoke? Be fuckin' nice . . . and a drink."

"Aye!" she flopped down on the ground and took one pack of cigarettes she threw it to him and his lighter. She quickly grabbed another pack for herself and another lighter from inside. She quickly took out one of the cigarettes and lit it pulling the chemicals it held deeply. She handed a bottle to Sunny half full of vodka. " 'Ere all yers'." She quickly threw the pack back over her shoulders and stood. "Ima' check on Jewel get a room in tha house ready for her." He nodded slightly not looking away from the fire as he lit a cigarette.

Angel walked away puffing contently on her cigarette. She walked to the front door opening it. "Come on Jewel la'ts find ya' a bedroom." She jumped up excitedly and ran to Angel's side. Angel drew her knife and held it closely to her side as she walked around looking through the rooms. She found a charming bedroom with a few posters of cars hanging on the walls and a made up bed. "How bout ere'?"

The girl nodded happily then her smile faded. "Will you stay with me? I don't want to be alone." Angel nodded slowly.

"Ya' want something ta' eat darlin'?" She nodded a yes. Angel walked into the room sitting on the bed and laying the knife down beside her. She pulled the sack still hanging off her shoulders in front of her. She opened it pulling out a small bag of chips and a bottle of water, she handed it to Jewel and the girl smiled.

"Thank you." She sat on the bed beside Angel. She watched as Angel took out her flask and took a large swallow of the contents inside. "Angel what's your last name?"

"Hellfire."

"That's a neat name . . . how old are you?"

"Twenty-eight. How old are ya'?

"Nine."

"Ya're almost a big girl," Angel laughed softly smiling at her. Her eyes changed from a pale blue to a pinkish color.

"Do you're eyes always change colors when you get mad or happy?"

"Aye." She had a brief moment admiring the girl for noticing something so small. She looked out the window seeing the sun was starting to set and her eyes started to get heavy. She started tearing the weapons of herself and placing them on a large desk in the corner of the room. "Stay right ere' darlin' I'll be right back." Angel stood and started walking for the backdoor. It was still open, she peered outside and Sunny was taking a drink from the bottle she had given him. "Ya' never were a drinker before what changed yer' mind?" she asked walking up to him.

"Well I'll tell ya'." He leaned on her with his arm around her shoulder. "Ya' always were a drinker since I met ya' Angel . . . yet ya' were always happy . . . So I figure why not go and give it a wee' shot."

"That's just 'at buddy. I've down 'at for years now and have grown an immunity ta' most of tha' side effects. Ya' just starting and 'at will mess wit' ya' mind and corrupt ya' body. If ya' gonna start don't do 'at when we need ta' fight."

"Aye! Ya' have mah' word darlin'." She smiled pushing him away.

"Come ta' bed soon. I'm bout ta' hit that mattress and make sweet love ta' 'at."

"Ya' that tired?" She nodded giving him a tight hug before walking back into the house. She headed towards the bedroom stammering from not having any sleep for the last two days. She locked the door behind her flopping down on the bed beside Jewel. "Angel," she asked after finishing her chips and drinking some of her water. But her reply was a small snore. She giggled before taking Angel's boots off and putting them on the floor and crawling beside Angel and going to sleep.


	2. Maybe there

So if you're still reading I like to say Daryl jumping into this chapter. Yay! I'd also like to stop and say I don't own any of 'The Walking Dead' characters but I do own Angel, Sunny, and Jewel.

I really hope you like this chapter, please review I have a tendency to abandon stories because I feel like they're shit when no one ever leaves a review. I hope you like it. I tried half assed to follow the actually show but I lagged a lot.

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Chapter Two: Maybe there's some hope left in Hell

_When the gutters fill with blood that's spilled from friends that pass away._

_They're all gone.  
And memories of eulogies while standing by their graves,  
Just trying to survive we wind up living lives like slaves  
I hope to God I can fall into a sleep where I can stay_

_We all got demons to slay._  
_And if I pray all through the night I can fight another day._  
_They say it's better to burn out than it is to fade away._

_I've been gone for years now._  
_I just hope to God I can fall into a sleep where I can stay_

It had been nearly three months since that hellish time. Sunny and Angel would go into town gathering supplies to live off of and would leave Jewel at the house. Over this time Sunny had grown a small attachment to the girl, but he refused to show it in front of Angel and he was wary leaving the girl behind while they went on their runs. It was one hot summer's day when the small world they had built around themselves came crashing down.

It was the fourth run they had made into town since the outbreak really began. They had a plan, ditch the car and sneak through the allies avoiding the dead as much as possible. They were in the last store they had scouted out to go through. There wasn't much left but Angel plucked the shelves of medicine, food, and any water that was left. She had filled up her pack when she walked to the front of the store waiting for Sunny. She looked at a rack that held several necklaces on it. She noticed a silver chain with a butterfly charm hanging off of it. She quickly snatched it up and stuffed it in her pocket knowing Jewel would like it.

As she looked at the trinkets around the counter further a hand grabbed her from behind. She drew her knife in a flash and held it to the sources forehead. "Fuck," Sunny gasped stammering away from her blade knocking a counter over.

"Ya' scared tha' shat out of me ya' twat," she mumbled. She quickly jumped at a sudden banging noise. She turned to the source seeing a few of the dead banging their fists against the glass. She quickly sleeved her knife and jogged to Sunny picking him up with and outstretched hand. "We have ta' go now," she whispered pointing at the front of the store. Sunny stammered back for a moment at the number that was there, his green eyes held a hidden fear. He started jogging for the back of the store. He opened the emergency exit and an alarm went off.

"Shat!" he yelled before taking off in a fast run down the many allies. They reached the car but between them and the car there was more of the dead then they could count. They drew their guns and began shooting as many as they could. Angel decided running for the car, she made it by the skin of her teeth. She heard Sunny scream angrily. She turned by the passenger door to look at him. He was running for the car shooting as many as he could pained yet angry stare met her. She started shooting at the ones closest to him not wasting any bullets. He jumped through the window into the car cranking it as Angel jumped in shooting some more until she ran out of bullets in the clip.

Sunny threw the gearshift into drive and sped off hitting a few of the dead. They said nothing until they got farther from the city. It wasn't until the car came to a slow stop that anything was said.

"What da' fuck are ya' doing?" Sunny let his head lean against the steering wheel, he gave a sad frustrated sigh and then looked at her.

"We're out of gas . . . an' that's not tha' only feckin' problem." He slung the door open angrily and walked to the front of the car, planting himself against the hood. Angel sat still for a few moments just starring at him. She finally got out and sat by him and threw her arm around his shoulder.

"Aye. Did ya' piss yer' pants?" she smiled trying to make light of the situation. He looked at the ground before pulling his t-shirt sleeve up and revealing a large portion of meat missing. Angel fell away from him with a pale face she sat on the ground looking up at him.

"Sunny no . . . ya' can't do me like tat'," she said her face twisting within itself with silent tears.

"This 'as worse . . . Angel darlin' ya' gotta shoot me before I turn I don't want ta' be one of those things." She stood trying to hide her tears the best she could but they still poured down her face silently. Another one of her friends was going to die. A feeling of daja'vu tore through her leaving an empty feeling that made her sick.

"Sunny you'll be alright . . . I'll just patch 'at up . . ."

"What the fuck ya' think this 'as!" He yelled pushing away from the car and turning at her angrily. "Ya' fuckin' told Lunar that when he was dieing! Ya' knew good and damn well 'ere was nothin' me, ya', or Jeff could do for him!"

"Shut de feck up ya' dumb langer! Ya' don't feckin nu 'oy close I wus' ter 'im, I wanted ter 'elp 'im! Ya' don't feckin blather about dat day! Why canny yer shoot yer' feckin' self?" she yelled shoving him angrily. Tears started falling down his cheeks. The car's radio turned on playing RHCP 'My Friends.' She couldn't help but compare it to the situation at hand that she wanted to run from.

"Cus' ya' dumb feckin' eejit oi'm a coward! I can kill al' dees' men dat we've before but I canny shoot me own feckin' patetic self."

"Waat' makes ya' think I can?"

"Cus' yer' strong Angel. I want ya' to keep pushing for Lunar and that wee' girl that be waiting for ya'. Think about it Lunar wanting ya' ta' keep pushing all the feckin' time. He told ya' that when he were dieing. Now feckin' do it! Make him proud and save that wee' girl before those monsters ge' her." She started crying without making any noise replacing the clip in her pistol. She walked up to Sunny and got him to lay against the car.

"Ya' know yer' dieing as my feckin' brother Sunny." She placed a hand on his shoulder pulling her sunglasses over her eyes still clinging to the gun with a shaky hand. It had always been easy for her to kill but now it was her nightmare.

"Aye. . . and yer' livin' as mah' feckin' sister." He smiled grabbing onto her shoulder and shaking her.

"I don't know if I woulda' made 'at this far if 'at weren't fer' ya'."

"So much fer' poetics aye?" He let his smile grow wider squeezing her shoulder tighter.

"Aye." She planted a small kiss on his forehead. She put the barrel of her gun where she kissed. He closed his eyes keeping that small smile on his face and squeezing her shoulder tighter. She pulled the trigger finally and his body went limp falling to the ground. She fell by him sobbing loudly and placing her head on his chest holding him. "Oi'm sorry! Fuck!" She finally stood and grabbed the two sacks out of the back before turning to leave. She stopped a few feet away and looked over her shoulder. "I loved ya' brother," she mumbled before taking off down the road in a run to the house where Jewel waited.

It was nearly dark when she reached the house she wheezed heavily from running out of breath. She hopped the fence stumbling on the ground as she landed. She paused when she saw the door was open. "Jewel!" she screamed running inside. She stopped a foot away from the door and turned seeing the gate was open. Her panic went into a manic state. "JEWEL!" She yelled as loud as she could manage holding her gun and running inside. There were a few dead here and there. In her rage and loss she took pleasure in killing them.

"Darlin'!" She started checking all the rooms but there was no sign of her. She slumped down thinking hard. She remembered telling Jewel if neither Sunny nor her ever came back from one of their runs to walk down the highway away from the city. It was a stupid idea now that she thought about it. "Feck!" she yelled to the air getting up and running out the door searching the ground for any sign of footprints or marks she could've made. She found a small footprint and followed it to another by the gate and then a trail became clear. She started following the tracks and they led to the woods. She continued after them even though she knew it was almost dark. After it became too dark to see. She climbed a tree bracing herself between three strong branches so that if she fell asleep she wouldn't fall. She just starred at the sky for a long time looking at the stars above and at some point she fell asleep.

She dreamed of something that made her heart wrench in guilt and pain. It was seven years ago from the hell she endured now.

_ The helicopter blades above Angel's head were loud and unbearable, she finally tuned them out now looking over the vast Ocean and to a land mass far away. Her braids whipped around aggressively hitting her face and it stung. She smiled at her friend Lunar sitting across from her along with Sunny and Jeff. "You scared?!" she yelled over the noise sharpening her knife. _

_"Hell no! Are you nervous?" He smiled brightly. His blue eyes starring daggers into her. She loved when she pissed him off and he refused to show it but covered it so well with a smile. He could fool everyone else but not her… he was scared._

_"What the fuck you think?!" She answered flipping him off. He shrugged strapping his parachute on and then meeting her gaze. Returning her gesture by sticking out his tongue. A few more minutes passed and Sunny stood bracing onto the opening of the door. "Get up! On your feet landing zones coming up!" he screamed over the noise his green eyes demanding everyone to stand up._

_Everyone stood without hesitation except Angel. "Angel come on get the fuck up!" Sunny screamed glaring at her. "Have you gone deaf!"_

_"Nah Sunny Ima' sit this one out you got this!" She made Lunar and Jeff laugh but not Sunny he looked like he wanted to shoot her. He never found her jokes funny especially when they had a job to do, he was always all business and it just made it that much more fun to mess with him. "Alright I'm coming." She stood making sure everything was where it was suppose to be. All her weapons attached to her properly and her shoot attached. _

_She walked to the opening leaning against the metal. She peeked her head out making sure the land was there. With a deep breath she jumped out her heart dropping to the bottom of her stomach. "I didn't fucking say jump you-" she heard Sunny's voice then it drifted off. She turned around and looked and the other three had jumped. She smiled flipping back over and preparing herself to pull the cord._

_When she knew it was time she pulled the cord drifting down to the dirt. Her boots tapping onto the hard dirt. She pulled the parachute off and looked above and all three of her comrades were right behind her. She took the backpack the parachute exploded from and threw it on the ground._

_They all had military training but the only one dressed as such was Sunny. He liked to think of himself as the boss but the most experienced one there was Angel. He grabbed her shoulders turning her around and glaring at her. "What the fuck is wrong with you?! Do you know what could've went wrong?!" He yelled in her face. She shoved him hard and he stumbled back._

_"Sunny god damn-it shut the fuck up! I'm playing boss right now!" She took a deep breath calming herself. She turned facing all of them. "We know the mission here don't we? We find the target shoot his ass then go home. We don't get to leave until we find the fucker ok?" They all nodded their heads in agreement even Sunny. "Lunar buddy did you get my back pack?"_

_"Yes," he said smiling and handed it to her. She grabbed it opening it with some struggle. She pulled out a bottle of Bacardi and took a big swig. _

_"You're seriously fucking drinking right now? We haven't been here five fucking minutes and you're already hitting the bottle?" Sunny questioned angrily. She smiled._

_"Yes. Maybe if you drunk sometime you wouldn't have that pole sticking out of your ass." She laughed along with Lunar. Jeff just stood there nervously swifting a rock with his foot. She strapped the backpack to her back and motioned for them to follow taking a phone out her pocket that had GPS. She stopped and turned. "No excuse me! We go this way." She started singing a tune to lift their spirits and Lunar joined wrapping his arm around her shoulder. _

_"Where I go I just don't know. . ." they started._

_"This is going to be drug out for-fucking-ever," Sunny mumbled following them._

_—2 days later—_

_**I took two days to scope the place out… I had everything planned perfectly ... He should be here right now… I had everything planned… but… it all went to shit just like everything.**_

_Angel halted the men behind her making them stop. She peeked out the thick green bushes starring at a large compound with a large broken down wall blocking off the ground around it; guarded by men carrying AK's. She turned back to them. "We need a distraction to get in." She took out her bottle taking a big swallow cringing her nose as her nerves relaxed. "Sunny give me the smoke bombs." Without any hesitation Sunny handed her them. _

_"We are all coming out of this… When these go off go in there shooting. Lunar and me will go over the wall. We'll meet up outside the compound. On my mark…" She pulled the pins out the smoke bombs throwing them all around. She reserved two. She jumped out the bushes shooting the two closest guards by her. Lunar jumped out shooting three more. They joined at the wall scaling it by grabbing where bricks were gone. She stood on the wall pulling the automatic shotgun off her back and began shooting all the men around the compound feeling no remorse for it._

_She jumped down her knees popping and burning but she shrugged it off when Lunar jumped down right beside her. She strapped the shotgun back to her back taking out her pistol once again. Shooting men that ran out off the compound. She threw the old clip into the dirt clipping another in her gun. Shooting and running to the compound with Lunar copying everything she did. A shot sounded behind her and she thought she got shot. She looked down and saw that she was all right. _

_"I thought I got shot," she laughed waiting for Lunar to reply. She turned seeing her friend holding his chest with wide eyes full of fear starring back at her. Blood dripped off his hand mixing with the dirt below their feet. It took her a few minutes to process that he had gotten shot. She looked back to a single man standing with his gun pointed at her. Tears filled her eyes as they turned a light blue. Anger bubbling over like water on an stove left unattended. "Fuck you!" She screamed taking her knife out running towards him he shot and the bullet went straight through her shoulder. She didn't feel it though._

_She jumped driving her knife into his eyes removing it and stabbing him in the stomach over and over refusing to stop. Someone grabbed her from behind and she cut his leg. "Fucking stop! Angel! Fuck!" Sunny screamed falling back grabbing his leg. She paid him no mind throwing the knife down blood all over her hands. Jeff knelt down to Lunar who was now laying in the dirt._

_She ran over grabbing her mouth fighting tears when she saw blood pouring out of his mouth. She shoved Jeff away and knelt down. "Lunar god damn it don't you die." She whimpered grabbing his coat and shaking him._

_"I'm not… going to-" He began then coughed up blood. His chest began to rise and fall slower and slower. "Fuck Sunny give me the first aid kit!" She screamed back not looking away from Lunar. "Please come on you're gonna be alright." She said rubbing his cheek gently with her bloody hand smearing blood on his cheek. Her tears falling on his face. "Angel it pierced his lung he's not-" Jeff began with a sorrowful gaze. Angel cut him off with a loud scream, "Shut the fuck up! He's fine!" Her tears began falling left and right. "He-he's fine!" she whimpered._

_Lunar grabbed her face with a shaky hand. "Hey girl keep your head up high… don't ever forget that… Don't forget what we came here for. Don't ever forget what we do. . . there's hope for the world some people are good at heart like you. " He smiled his white teeth covered in blood his blue eyes tearing over in the attempt to talk. "You'll be alright." He took a deep breath. "I had a good run and you got more to make. I love ya'." _

_"I love you too but you're gonna be fine I promise. Fuck the job! We're going home don't you give up!" She said shaking him again. He closed his eyes a grin across his face. His hand fell away and his chest quit rising and falling. "No… No… No. ! NO! Lunar wake up!" Whimpers racked out of her chest, tears, and snot running down her face. She tired CPR to revive him but his heartbeat was long gone. She laid her head into his chest and cried. She snorted and wiped her eyes._

_She stood and turned to the rest of her team. "Take him back to the fucking landing zone!" Sunny stepped to her. "What about the job?" he asked softly. "It's now a fucking one man mission! I'm killing the fucker! Now go! Take him to the landing zone! That's not a fucking request it's an order!" She reloaded the magazine on her shotgun and ran into the compound when she saw Sunny and Jeff picking up Lunar's dead body._

_She had no feeling except a numb that left an empty void as she ran through shooting everyone in sight. Three bullets plunged themselves into her abdomen barely missing vital organs but she didn't feel them all she felt was numbness and where tears had dried on her face. After she was sure there were no men left she climbed the stairs until a metal door blocked her path. She kicked it in storming in shooting their target. She walked over taking a picture to show her boss that the job had been done. A small creak signaled someone walking through the door without even thinking she turned shooting the whole clip out of her pistol. _

_She looked after she shot. Her heart dropped to the bottom of her stomach, she had killed an innocent little girl; no older then ten years old. She didn't kill her she murdered her in cold blood. More tears fell with her guilt. She dropped to her knees over the body crying. "I-I'm sorry I didn't mean to!" She rubbed her hand over her face. "Please forgive me!" She begged but the girl didn't respond. She picked up the body. _

_She threw the body over her hurt shoulder winching at the pain. She climbed the wall and gently climbed down on the other side. She made her way through the forest in a slow pace. A helicopter sounded off in the distance signaling the landing zone was nearby. She continued her adrenaline going away and her wounds catching up with her. She walked up to the helicopter setting the body down gently inside beside Lunar's body._

_She looked at Jeff and Sunny with a broken face. "I didn't mean to…" She sat back while they stared at her emotionless expression. She sighed and it turned into a whimper. "I won't know the man that kills me… I don't know any of these men I kill… Lunar didn't know the man that killed him… the girl didn't know me and I didn't know her…" She started crying. "When I lay down to dream at night… all I see is the men I kill… I just see this…" She motioned at the girl. "Nightmares never go away… What kind of life is this?! We kill and we kill and we fucking kill! All the blood on my hands will never wash away! All the faces scared into my mind!" She stopped whimpering. "I thought death didn't bother me anymore! But when there is so much how can you not let it… It doesn't hurt when I don't know who they are and I know they were bad people… But this is just too much… Lunar always told me to close my eyes when I felt like this… told me to think of a good time in my life when there was nothing wrong… When I didn't think about how much death and evil was in the world . . . And I thought of him… I can't now because all I see is him dieing." _

_She stood then staggering over and grabbing the first aid kit returning to her seat as the helicopter took off. No one said anything to her or said they would help her with her wounds. They didn't want to get screamed at. She opened it and began pulling the bullets that were still embedded in her wounds, then stitching them up with a needle and thread. She noticed there was a sedative in the bottom in shot form. She grabbed it with a crease of a smile on her lips. She stabbed it into her arm and shot all of it in. Sunny jumped up pulling it out. "You're killing yourself! Angel you-" his voice faded away so did the sounds of helicopter blades… it was replaced by gunshots ringing in her ears and the cries of men she had killed and Lunar right by her side smiling. In the real world she slept smiling, laughing, and crying._

_**I lost a friend that day… a brother… a little bit more of myself… my sanity… Death… was now my life. It always had been. I'll drown in it one day… this was what I became…. a monster… my life… it'll always been like this… Each day my guilt will slowly kill me…or maybe just maybe one day I won't feel anymore. I hope it will come soon because I can't live like this much longer.**_

She woke with a start gasping for air from the dream, she could feel the tears she had shed that day over her fallen comrade, her friend, and her brother. Sunny had now fallen into the same place in her heart where Lunar had been for so many painful years and it tore at her. "Cus' I don't know these men I kill," she whispered to herself. She took a swallow from her flask. "Maybe one day I won't feel a fuckin' thin'," she said a bit louder. It was still night but she knew the sun would be up soon and she would further her search for Jewel. "Please God," she begged still hanging onto the flask. "If ya' want my life take 'at but don't let that wee' girl suffer because of my mistakes." She stared down at her silver flask and etched onto the surface with a knife was Lunar in all capital letters it was the only thing she had left of him.

She shook her head violently trying to rid all the memories of that day seven years ago and yesterday's events. She took another swallow from the flask the images slowly faded away with guilt wrenching her heart. She tucked the flask away and waited for dawn.

It didn't take more then an hour when she saw the regiments of the sun peeking over she started climbing down the tree carefully. She found the trail where she left of and continued following it. At mid day she stumbled across a startling sight it was a pool of blood and the tracks seemed to be scratched away. Angel starred down at them for a long silent moment unmoving. A spark lit inside and her anger engulfed her completely. "Fuck!" she yelled and threw one of the sacks she had been carrying into a nearby tree. "No!" she cried her face twisting in visible pain. "Fuckin' no!" She heard a moan and gurgle nearby already knowing the what made it. She drew her knife turning and running towards one of the dead driving the blade threw its eyes. She stabbed it repeatedly letting some anger out screaming at it.

She finally kicked herself away crying and sobbing. "Jewel!" she cried loudly. "I'm fuckin' sorry . . . I lied ta' ya'." She pulled out one of her pistols and starred at it. _'One bullet. . . just one,' _her mind said. That's all it would take to end all the pain. It would all be gone with just one bullet one little squeeze to the trigger. Bliss. She started raising the gun to her head with a comfortable numb embracing her heart.

She heard a small branch snap behind her and in a flash she had her gun drawn and pointed at the source. It was a man pointing a crossbow at her head.

"Are you trying to attract a whole fucking herd to your dumb ass!" he whispered loudly.

"Don't ya' fuckin' know not ta' play with toys 'round a fuckin' psychopath ya' twat." She stood not letting her gun swift away from her aim at his head.

"What the fuck did you call me?"

"A twat ya' fuckin' eejit." He understood the last word just fine.

"What you calling me stupid girl?"

"Aye!" She paused trying to ease the tension. "What's yer fuckin' name?"

"What's yours?"

"Not in a fuckin' position to be askin' questions . . . At's Angel."

"Hellfire?" he questioned looking up from aiming the crossbow at her but keeping it where he could shoot her if she tried anything.

"Aye. What fuckin' of at?" she glared at him her eyes turning a dark red color. She sighed. "Ya' wouldn't have happened to see a wee' girl run through here? Yay tall?" She put her hand at the middle of her stomach showing Jewel's height. "Dirty blonde hair and blue eyes would ya'?"

"I have actually. Have yah' seen a deer run by with two big eyes and a white tail?" See saw clearly now he was making fun of her trying to mimic her accent slightly. She decided to make it into a joke.

"Waat' kinda fuckin' description 'as tat'? Yer' gonna have ta' give mah' more ta' work with then tat'. . ." A small smirk tugged at his lips but was gone in an instant. "Will ya' take me ta' the lil' girl please," she said spinning on her heel picking up the bag she had thrown. She didn't holster her gun but kept it hanging loosely at her side. "If ya' do ya' can have all tha' food and water I have."

"Where's the man the girl was talking about?" Angel looked at the ground for a minute until her fire came back.

"He didn't make at'." She looked up to the man with a plea in her eyes and words. "Tat' wee' girl 'as all I have left please take mah' ta' her." He nodded slowly with an understanding glint in his eye. He kept his distance and asked her to walk beside him. "Way' did ya' find 'er?"

"I was looking for a nother little girl . . . she's still missing but I stumbled across Jewel running from some walkers-"

Angel cut him off quickly. "Walkers? Is at' what yer callin' 'em now?" She gave a small snort of laughter.

"Well what the fuck are you calling them?" He glared at her intensely.

"Tha' dead. Waat' the feck does 'at matter?" she paused for a short moment. "Tat' 'as a better name." He gave a small noise close to laughter.

"Where did you get that back woods accent?"

"Back woods?" she hissed lowly. "At's fucking Irish ya' twat. Way' did ya' getting that fuckin' south accent?"

"Georgia. You don't look Irish to me."

"Cuz' oi'm not, when ya' get put over 'ere for three years ya' pick up on tha' accent qua'ckly and at's hard ta' get rid of."

"Jewel said you talked funny."

"Waat' tha' feck' . . ." she sighed loudly letting what she took as an insult fade away. "What's yer' name twat? Ya' know mine." He hesitated looking forward.

"It's . . . Daryl." When she said no more he guessed she was waiting for a last name. "Dixon."

"Aye!" Her words faded and a silence fell over them until they reached a clearing up ahead. It was a farm and there was a campsite spread out under some trees. She saw a small figure that she recognized immediately.

She stopped in her tracks for a few moments and Daryl starred at her but she gave him no mind as a tear tore down her cheek contrasting a smile. She started running towards Jewel. "Darlin'!" she called out. The girl turned and started running towards Angel. They finally fell into each other arms. "Angel!" the girl said cheerfully hanging on for dear life. She looked over Angel's shoulder not at Daryl who was walking past them to the rest of the group when she saw no one else that's when she began to worry. "Angel where's Sunny?" She pushed Angel back so she could look at her face. Angel tipped the sunglasses back onto her head showing her eyes. She had no idea how to tell Jewel what had happened.

"Darlin' . . . he didn't make at' . . . but he wanted mah' ta give ya' this." She pulled out the necklace she had found at the store back in Atlanta and laced it around Jewel's neck as tears fell down the girl's cheeks. The girl sobbed lightly into Angel's shoulder.

"He didn't turn into one of those things did he?" She looked up to Angel with tear filled eyes.

"No Jewel he didn't . . . he's happy now up in Heaven." She kissed her forehead before picking her up and carrying her on her hip with one arm to the rest of the group. She pushed her shades back down over her eyes. A man walked up to her he had dark curly short hair. "You must be Angel. Jewel has talked a lot about you . . . I'm Rick Grimes." He held out his hand in a friendly gesture. She grabbed it with her free hand and shook it firmly.

"Dad' she mention mah' funny accent? She sure did ta' Daryl. Said 'at was some back woods talk." Jewel laughed and Rick gave a small smile.

"It's nice to meet you Angel, but I have to go now the rest of the group would like to meet you." He gave one last kind smile before turning on his heel and leaving. A woman and a young boy came up. "Hi I'm Lori and this is Carl," she said gesturing her hand towards the shy looking boy. "Carl's my friend," Jewel said wanting to be put down. Angel let her down. "'As tat' so? Now how do ya' get such a quiet boy ta' talk ta' ya' when ya' babble like ya' do." She smiled at the boy as Jewel giggled. Angel shook Lori's hand. "At's nice ta' meet ya' Lori, oi'm Angel. Ya' Rick's wife?"

"How did you know?"

"Jus' a guess." The woman smiled and Angel returned it. "Well I'll be off ta' meet tha' others. Oh! One more thin' Lori. I'd like tha' group ta' have these. At's food and water . . ."

"Why do you want us to have this?" she asked looking at the sacks Angel held out to her.

"Cuz' ya' saved mah' darlin's life I could only start with this . . . Ere's no end ta' mah' gratitude for wat' yer' people done for carin' for' 'er."

"Daryl found her . . ."

"Aye! He's part of tha' group ain't he?"

"Thank you Angel." She said finally taking the bags out of Angel's hand. She leaned to one side at the sudden weight. "Mrs. Angel can me and Jewel play?" Carl asked.

"Aye! Ya' don't have ta' call me Miss. Ya' making me feel old. Jus' watch out for 'er." She smiled at Carl as him and Jewel giggled. The young boy liked the way the woman talked and he decided it was cool. They walked off. "Lori will ya' watch my darlin' for mah'?" She nodded her head with a smile.

Lori walked off and the rest off the group came. First another young woman introduced herself as Andrea. "Andrea? Tat's a pretty name at's nice ta' meet ya'."

Next was a man that was skinny and somewhat short. She guessed he was Korean. His name was Glen. "Angel isn't it? I'm Glen." He shook her hand.

"Aye! Glen at's nice ta' see another friendly face. I like ya' already." She smiled and he gave a nervous one back.

"You just met me though."

"Ya' have the face of kind man and tha' eyes of a saint. Ya' can't deny at'." He was pushed aside by a darker skin man. "What's up I'm T-dog?"

"As at' yer real name? Be a crying shame yer' Mah' gave ya' a name like tat'." He frowned. "No at' was a joke. I've met a man before went by Bambi." He gave a small chuckle having a hard time understanding some of the things she said.

"No I just like T-dog better. No harm done." He patted her shoulder and walked away. An older man shook her hand. "I'm Dale. It's so nice to know Jewel found her mother."

"Nah . . . no oi'm not her Mah' I jus' found her after 'er parents died and I looked out for 'er. Grown a sort of attachment ta' tha' wee' lass. Way ya' think I was 'er Mah'?"

"She said you were her mother. I thought your face looked too young to be a mother but the tattoos made me change my mind."

"Aye! Eres' a wee' bit isn't ere?" He laughed at the emphasis she put on 'wee. "Is ere' anythin' I can do ta' help fine the girl tat' went missin'?"

"Well Daryl was going to go back looking for her with Rick after he brought you back."

"Why would you want to help a little girl you don't even know?" A voice cut in behind Dale.

"Oi'm sorry. Who tha' feck are ya'?"

"I'm Shane you didn't answer my question. Could you talk a bit clearer it's hard to understand that babbling?"

"Well Shane I can try tha' best I can feckin' muster! I want ta' 'elp 'as cus' me darlin' is safe nigh an' naw wee' lassy shud 'av ta' be out dare al' alone. Is dat de feckin' answer ya' were lookin' for lad!" She glared at him through her sunglasses and he just turned around and walked off. "He shut tha' fuck up didn't he?" she said smiling at Dale.

He gave a small smile back still trying to figure out some of the less clear words she spoke before without much luck. "Yea . . . you can sleep in the RV if you get sleepy that's where Jewel has been sleeping."

"Yer' a kind man Dale. Thank ya'." She said giving him a kind smile before going off in search of Jewel before she went to find Daryl or Rick.

She walked up to a small picnic table where and older looking woman sat with Lori watching the kids playing. The woman had a grim, hopeless look on her face. "I haven't had tha' chance to say 'ello yet," she started looking at the woman. The woman didn't look at her. "Can I at least get yer' name darlin'?" she asked being as sweet as possible.

"It's Carol. Nice to meet you Angel, Jewel never stops talking about you or Daryl." She offered Angel a weak smile momentarily before looking back down at the ground. Angel knew who the missing girl's mother was now. "Lori will ya' make sure Jewel doesn't get inta' trouble while Oi'm gone?" She nodded her head.

"Where are you going?"

"Try ta' find tat' wee' lass that went missin'. Can't leave her out ere'. Oi'm find her an' bring 'er back." She just starred at Angel and gave a small smile. She took off into a run when she saw Daryl.

"Ey' Daryl ya' goin' ta' look for tha' lass?" she asked stopping a few feet away from him.

"Yea. So what?"

"So fuckin' what? I want ta' help ya'."

"I don't need any one's help." He started walking away but she followed him. "I don't need your help girl! Rick is coming we don't need you getting in the way with your loud mouth." That stung a bit more then it should have but she didn't question why.

"Wait just a fuckin' minute," she was trying her best to ditch the accent on her words but it proved difficult and her speech became a bit slurred. "Yau' helped Jewel . . . and I . . . have to repay yau' somehow . . . Jus-t let me help for fuck's sake."

"Don't try to talk like me. You sound drunk . . . Just keep that back woods accent," he sighed heavily rubbing a hand down his face. "Alright fine . . . not my call anyhow go ask Rick he's inside talking to Hershel." She just nodded now afraid to speak in front of Daryl. She had always been proud of her accent because Sunny and her had that together. They argued a lot but they loved each other.

Angel sat on the porch waiting for Rick to come out. When the door opened she turned just to glare at Shane. "Fucking retard," he mumbled walking by her.

"Ey I fuckin' heard that ya' feckin' eejit!" she yelled standing up.

"Yea . . . and just what are you going to do about it? Hit me?"

"Aye!" She smirked charging at him tackling him to the ground punching him in the nose. He punched her across the face and she sent one back before twisting his arm in an uncomfortable position with her other hand pushing his elbow a way it wasn't suppose to bend. "Yer' dumb feckin eejit! Ya' tink yer' can feck' wi' anyone don't ya'. Well guess feckin waaat yer canny call me oi retard 'wan more feckin' time lad an' I'll break 'assle yisser arms an' 'ames up dat pretty boy face or yers! Aye?" Suddenly a pair of hands pulled her roughly away. It was Daryl and she thought she caught a smirk before he glared at her. "What ta' fuck Daryl?" She questioned yanking away from his grasp.

"Can't go around making threats to everyone." Shane was going to jump on her but Daryl stepped in the way holding him back, before Angel went to Shane again Rick grabbed her making her calm down. Shane stormed off quickly glaring at Angel.

"Can we go now?" Daryl questioned hastily.

"Aye! Angel said rubbing her jaw where she was punched and readjusting her weapons. "Eejit can throw a punch give tha' fucker' that."

"He hit you?" Daryl questioned with a protective nature quickly starring at her as the three walked off towards the woods.

"Aye! Made a promise if he calls me a retard 'gain. I brake both his arms an' feck up his face . . . by tha' way Oi'm sorry if no one likes tha' way I spake."

"I never said there was nothin' wrong with it. I just never heard no one talk like that before." He shrugged holding his crossbow loosely at his chest.

"Where'd you learn to fight like that?" Rick asked suddenly giving a small smile.

"Somethin' I pack up along tha' way." She smiled brightly then reached for her pocket pulling out her last pack of cigarettes. They hadn't been opened yet so she tore away the plastic and paper and stuffed the trash into her pocket. "Care for one?" she asked offering the pack to Daryl, he took one then she held the pack near Rick.

"No thank you I don't smoke."

"Aye? Yer tha' first person I come across tat' has turned down a smoke." She took one out before stuffing the pack back into her pocket pulling out lighter quickly and lighting her cigarette. She pulled the smoke deeply filling her lungs with relief. She looked over seeing Daryl struggle to light his due to a cheap lighter that had quit working. "Ey' ya' need a light?" she asked holding the lighter to him. He grunted taking it from her and lighting his cigarette pulling on it heavily. He handed it back giving a small nod of thanks.

She stopped, the other two stopping momentarily starring at her. "Ya' hear tat'?" she asked looking to the direction she swore she heard church bells. She heard them sound again this time they heard it too. "Com' on!" she said loudly running in the direction, they followed behind her having a bit of difficulty keeping up with her pace. She didn't stop until she ran into a clearing where a church was.

"It doesn't have a steeple!" Rick said behind her. She didn't let his words register she shoved the front doors open and a few walkers started coming after her. She pulled her machete out and hacked one's head off while Daryl shot one with his crossbow. She starred at the last one for a long moment. She shoved it back when it got too close. Daryl stared at the small scene about to take action.

Angel finally stabbed the sharp blade through it's head and then again, and once more with little effort. "Are you ok?" he asked coming up behind her. She just stared at the thing for a moment longer.

"Aye . . . I'm fine 'at had a familiar face but he's dead already." She sleeved her machete back and turned to look at Daryl. Her mouth opened but no words came out as her pale orange eyes starred into his blue. The bells stopped signaling Rick had dismantled the electronic timed bells. Angel looked away and went and set on the front seat looking at a monument statue of Jesus. She let her elbows rest on her knees as she leaned forward. She pulled at a gold chain that hung loosely around her neck and pulled a demonic looking cross out and held it. Rick came and sat by her.

"Are you religious?" he asked softly.

"Nah . . . not really . . . I used to believe 'at was silly ta' do all tat' prayin' an' live by someone else's rules yer' 'ole life . . . when I lost Jewel I told God tat' if I found her tat' he could have mah' life . . . Ya' know whatever he wanted 'at for. I guess Oi'm obligated now. Wat' about ya'?"

"I see . . . I don't know."

"Ya' got ta' believe 'an somethin'. Even if 'at's jus' livin'." She gave Rick a small smile before removing her shades and standing up walking outside finishing her cigarette off.

"All that hoping and praying doesn't do any good," Daryl mumbled walking past her. She looked at him for a moment, trying desperately to think of something to say; but a silence carried out until Rick walked out the doors minutes later. "It's getting dark we should head back," Rick said looking around with a bit of frustration.

"Aye," Angel declared pushing her back off the church wall and started to walk towards the way they came. She couldn't take the silence that had fell over the group so she took her phone out along with her headphones. She turned it one quickly shuffling through the list of music she had on her phone. She picked randomly and stuck one of the buds in her ears. 'Road to Zion' by Damien Marley started playing softly. The longer she let the song play the more her heart stretched out in emptiness and sadness. A tear tore down her cheek as her eyes changed a pale blue. Her mind left the present.

It had been two weeks in Jamaica now. They were getting info on a target knowing he wasn't here but doing anything they could to find out we're the evil man had fled to. Lunar and Angel set back on the beach looking across the blue waters starring at the sunset. Their bare feet sifting through the soft sand with a blunt filled with marijuana being passed back and forth between to the two. A small boom box was playing calm music when the song came on. "Why do we do this shit Lunar?" she asked handing him the blunt starring across the water.

"What you mean?" he asked back his pale blue eyes looking to her.

"Killing these people . . ."

"Some one has to . . . sometimes though Angel there's something that just makes me wanna give up and forget about all of this."

"And what's that?"

"No matter how many of these men we kill . . . there's always going to be more and more . . . One falls another takes his place it'll never change . . . And if there were no law to push the punishment of being behind bars . . . Everyone would be evil . . . You know there's a reason we quit looking under the bed for monsters when we're kids?"

"I never had the privilege . . . but enlighten me."

"It's because we start to realize they're not there. They're inside us they always have been. We're not good people it's not justified what we do. We just do it . . ."

"I don't believe that first part. Some people are good at heart . . . Maybe one day the world will be just . . . good." He gave a snort of laughter.

"After all the bull you've been through I'd think you stopped believing in fairy tales a long time ago . . . you're just as naive as everyone else maybe I'm off about you being a bad person cause someone that naive gotta be innocent." She pushed his shoulder lightly making him laugh.

"Shut the fuck up! Trying to go on some martyr shit. You've been smoking too much weed and hanging out with the natives too much." He laughed tossing a handful of sand in her lap. "You bastard!" she smiled throwing a big handful at him. She stood up and ran as he chased after her laughing.

Reality came back like a hard slap nearly making her fall. "Angel!" Daryl yelled pushing her lightly.

"Wat' tha' fuck is 'at?" she nearly yelled glaring at him.

"You been standing there twenty fucking minutes just starring I was about to fucking leave you. Rick's done left." She just shook her head like she'd done something terribly wrong.

"Oi'm sorry . . . I need some sleep." She stammered ahead tears invading her eyes that it was just a memory and had not actually been happening. The realization that he'd been dead nearly seven years hurt a lot more then it should have. She wiped them away quickly before Daryl could see them. "Why didn't ya' jus' leave me?" she asked looking at him turning her phone off and sliding it in her pocket.

"I . . . Jewel would've been mad at me." That was actually part of the truth, the other half was he didn't want her to get hurt or end up being stuck out here for the night. She nodded slowly shaking off any other thought because it was clouded with that memory.

"Oi'm sorry I do tat' a bit . . . Maybe ya' were' right Lunar," she said the last part to herself where he couldn't hear.

"You're just tired. Need to get a good night's sleep," he mumbled.

"Maybe." A few minutes later the clearing to the farm came up and she started jogging up to the camp. She looked for Jewel for a moment seeing that see had and Carl had gathered by a fire in the center of the tents. She took a seat by her. "Ey' darlin' ya' been behaving like ya' should. Not gettin' Carl inta' any trouble."

"No mam. We've been good. We've been trying to learn how to talk like you."

"Oh really? An' jus' how's tat' been going?"

"Not all that good . . . I told Dale you used to play a guitar because he had one in the RV. Will you play it for us?"

"I could try but . . . dad' he say 'at was ok?" Jewel nodded.

"Go ask him."

"Ok I will." She stood and headed for the RV with a slow pace. She was about to open the door but Dale made it out first. "Oh Angel Jewel told me used to play a guitar. Would you like to use it?"

"Aye. Tat' would be cool." He went back in and emerged with a guitar in his hands. It was an old acoustic. Gibson was painted onto the stock sloppily. "At's seen some years hadn't 'at?" He nodded. She thanked him before turning and leaving and heading back for the fire. The kids cheered as she sat down. "As there anythin' in particular ya' want to hear?"

"Whatever you can play," Jewel said smiling brightly. Angel took a deep breath in thought finally deciding. She set the guitar against her chest and lap. She started playing 'Fade to Black' by Metallica softly. It was a long song and halfway into it Andrea, Lori, Carol, Dale, and Rick sat down at the fire watching her play and eating dinner with smiles on their faces. Even Daryl had opened his tent and watched her play recognizing the song. Nothing was said throughout the performance but everyone tapped their heads up and down and clapped when she finished. She smiled brightly and gave a small laugh.

"Where'd you learn to play like that?" Lori asked.

"When I was fifteen I took off on tour wit' a band an' I pack' up a few lessons here and there."

"That must've been fun," Rick commented setting his plate down.

"Aye! Best time of mah' life."

"Will you play one more?" Carl asked excitedly.

"Jus' one more deal." He nodded shyly. She started playing 'Aerials' by System Of a Down. "Will you sing?" Jewel asked later into the song. Angel was hesitant but sang a few versus wanting to make the girl smile. "Life 'as a waterfall. We're one in the river. And one again after the fall. Swimming through the void. We hear the word. We lose ourselves but we find 'at all. 'Cause we are the ones that wanna' play. Always wanna' go but ya' never wanna' stay. And we are the ones that want to choose. Always want to play. But ya' never want to lose." She felt her cheeks turn a bit red when she saw Daryl watching with a smirk on his face. Her voice disappeared but she kept playing snatching her away form his stare and gazed at the fire.

After she ate some food with Jewel and put her to bed she found herself restless it was nearly mind shattering. She climbed on top the RV and starred out into the darkness. At some point her mind calmed and she feel asleep right where she was.


	3. Judging

Chapter Three: Judging

_It was a couple of years ago that I started becoming numb.  
No one could ever understand where all my words were coming from._

_Feeling like I've been dead my whole life._

_My heart keeps pumping.  
Having visions of a nine-to-five, a dead brother, a blunt, and a little girl I killed.  
Of a life of getting by with some of the running gun.  
Is it best to be a crumb?  
Lashing out in violence whenever my destiny is hung.  
In the balance, rum, I'm drinking gallons, _

Angel woke with a start. Someone had shaken her awake. She about jumped the source with gritted teeth. It had scared her. She looked up to Andrea before seeing it was just turning to daytime. She glared back at Andrea with red eyes. "Waaat de 'ell? Yer damn near made me shat' me drawers!" The woman gave a whoop of laughter as Angel sat up rubbing her head. "Waaat feckin' time 'as 'at? Feel like I gotta' 'angover."

"It's day time . . . How do your eyes change colors when your mood changes? I noticed it last night. Daryl wanted to know too?"

"Why couldn't tha' feckin' twat ask me?" She rubbed her eyes taking the last shot out of her flask. "At's a rare gene or somethin' they always done 'at. 'Aft ya' know me well enough ya' can always tell what kinda' of mood Oi'm in." She pulled off her backpack that she failed to take off last night. She quickly pulled out the same bottle of whiskey she had held onto since the outbreak that was now half empty. She carefully refilled her flask taking one more swallow out the bottle removing any regiments of the dreams she had that were clouding her mind.

"I think it's cool as hell. Is it a good idea to be drinking?"

"Ya' ask a lot of questions don't ya darlin'?" She paused looking up at her before replacing the bottle back in its place. "I don't know . . . Oi've been drinking for what seems like an eternity now. 'Elps me cope with my issues. Been drownin' me self in a bottle for ten years now." She placed the flask in her pocket. Andrea said no more but sat near the edge. Secretly she admired the woman.

Angel started contemplating what she would do throughout the day. She wanted to look for the missing girl again and then maybe set up some speakers that would play music off of her phone. Music was a big part of her life; you might as well have called it her medicine right next to her drinking. She stood stretching taking one more shot out of her flask before tucking it away for the rest of the day. She ran jumping off the side of the RV not looking where she was going to land.

She came close to landing on top of Daryl who had just woken up. "What the fuck are you doing? You almost jumped on me! Need to watch where the fuck you're going!" he yelled at her. She stumbled catching herself. She turned looking at him angrily.

"Yer' fault," she decided. "Ya' need to watch for sneak attacks ya' twat. Waaat' 'af I had been a walker who decided ta' do some acrobats or some shat'. Ya' be bit right now. I jus' taught ya' a life lesson." She grinned trying her best not to laugh. He just glared at her. He shook his head and walked away without another word. Andrea busted out laughing from the roof of the RV, Angel followed.

The whole camp had been awake now from Daryl's yelling and Angel's defense. She went inside the RV greeting Jewel with a smile. "Good mornin' darlin'," she said softly pushing Jewel's hair out of her face.

"It's too early!" she complained.

"But darlin' how ya' gonna' get big an' strong like me if yer' don't greet tha' day with a smile an' build yer' body up playin' and exercisin'." Her reply was something close to a growl. Angel laughed and laid beside the girl. She took some of her hair and tickled Jewel's nose. She got angry jumping up and groaning. "Come on darlin' don't be mad at me. We'll get ya' all pretty an' ya' can get some good food."

"Fine!" Angel smiled even though the girl wasn't too happy with her. She got her to put on a fresh change of clothes and walked outside carrying a sleepy Jewel on her hip. Lori greeted them both with a plate of eggs and bacon. Angel took one of the plates for Jewel but declined the other. "Thank ya' kindly Lori but Oi'm not hungry," she said with a small smile.

"But you didn't eat anything last night."

"Aye. I'll be fine. I used ta' go two weeks at a time without food. I'll be ok." Lori didn't argue with her anymore. Angel set Jewel down and handed her the plate. She sat with her for a few moments but her mind wandered and her body became restless and she couldn't bare being in the same spot a moment longer. She started wandering the grounds away from the house and the others. She put her headphones in her ears and started singing and dancing to a variety of music. She blocked the whole world out; the only thing her mind registered was the beats that pumped through the buds in her ears. She had wandered into the barn and danced for two horses inside laughing and telling them stories here and there.

Time passed a lot quicker then she thought. She had gotten into a song blocking out everything but the music closing her eyes. She opened her eyes finally, seeing Daryl standing at the doorway of the barn. She came close to stammering back. She quickly snatched the buds out of her ears her eyes a violet color. Her cheeks turned red. He had a smirk on his face. She searched for something cool to say but nothing came out but a small noise close to a squeak. "You're a very weird chick," he said trying not to laugh.

"I umm . . . What were ya' doing watching me?"

"I was coming to get a horse and go to look for Sophia and I stumble across you jamming to a Michael Jackson song."

"At was not . . . 'at was a remake of tha' song!" She was trying her damnest to hide the blush on her cheeks but he had already noticed it.

"Yep sure." He picked up a saddle on a rack nearby and started preparing the horse for the ride. Angel fumbled nervously turning her phone off.

"Are ya' goin' by yerself?" she asked clearing her throat after the heat left her cheeks.

"Yep."

"Ya' can't go by yerself. Let me come."

"Can you ride a horse?"

"Well . . . no I can't . . ."

"You get to stay here then and help Lori and Carol with the chores."

"At's bogus! Come on Daryl!"

"Nope . . . Call it payback for almost jumping on my head." His smirk had vanished now and was replaced by a cold smile that he always seemed to hang onto.

"Feckin gran' den! If yer' git 'urt oi ain't cryin' for ya'!" She gave him no time to say anything else she left the barn in a huff. "Feckin' twat!" she yelled walking back toward the campsite. Rick greeted her before she made it all the way. "Angel the owners would like to meet you."

"Aye. Been wanting ta' meet 'em."

"Umm could you take all the guns and knifes off first. They don't like anyone carrying guns and stuff around." She was going to protest but just gave a nod and headed for the RV to put them away. When she walked out the door Rick greeted her and took her to the house. First she greeted the older man. "Ey Oi'm Angel at's nice ta' meet ya'. Can I get ya' name?" She extended her hand out; he took it and shook it firmly.

"It's Hershel." He gave a small smile then she took her hand away. She greeted his daughters, a young man, and an older woman. She waved goodbye after telling them a joke to lighten the mood a bit. Rick accompanied her as she started heading back to see Jewel before seeing what she could do to help.

"There's something else I wanted to talk to you about Angel," he said stopping. She spun on her heel to meet his gaze.

"What 'as 'at Rick?"

"When Jewel told us your name it sounded familiar . . . it took me a while but I finally figured out where I had heard it before . . . about four years ago your name came through the system on a murder charge. We looked into your record to identify you. There was a problem though . . ." By then Angel had almost quit breathing. "The problem was you had no record it's like someone just pulled you completely out of the system. Now why is that? I looked deeper into who was murdered and found out he was a supplier giving kids on the streets in several states drugs and guns . . ." She took a deep breath she had a few options at the moment but she decided to go with the truth.

"I . . . think where I should start 'as who my employer was before tha' outbreak. His name was Axel he was embedded deeply 'an the government . . . so much tat' he might as well have been a ghost he didn't even remember his real name when we met. He lost his legs doing some kind of job . . . after tat' he started pickin' people of the street like me. When he found me, I was a wreck I was trying ta' kill me self ta' be short . . . he took me in an' trained me for tha' kind of work he did . . . He's sent me all cross the world tryin' ta' make 'at a better place . . . My name an' basically my identity was pulled from the system ta' make things simple . . . Oi'm jus' a pawn, I never questioned what he wanted me ta' do."

"So basically you're a hired gun?"

"Aye. Tat's pretty much tha' word I guess . . . now though me an' ya' are on the same page, same sentence jus' tryin' to protect people we care for. If ya' worry 'bout me tryin' to hurt any of yer' people . . . don't 'cause I refuse ta' hurt someone who has done no wrong." He nodded about to walk off.

"If you do try to hurt any of us . . . I will kill you. This is our little secret right now." She nodded respectively, letting her gaze fall towards the ground and for a few minutes she just stood there as he walked away.

"Oi'm not a bad person," she said in a pathetic voice to herself. _'Yes you are,' _a small voice in her head said lowly. "No. Not ya' again don't feckin' bother me!" She attempted trying to make it go away. _'I'll never go away.' _"Fuck ya'." She grabbed her head and walked away refusing to acknowledge the voice that still beckoned her to yell at it. She saw that Jewel was playing with Carl under Lori's watch so she decided not to bother them. She went to the RV reclaiming her weapons before climbing on top sitting down by Andrea. "Andrea can I ask ya' a favor?"

"Depends what is it?"

"Will ya' teach me how ta' talk normal. I feel like a fish out of water 'ere. I use ta' not always talk like this."

"Really well when did you start?"

"Four years ago. When I went ta' Ireland wit' Sunny. We were 'ere almost three years." She nodded.

"Well I can try." She smiled. For the next few hours they sat and talked and cracked jokes. For once life seemed ok, they easily forgot just how messed up the world was. Andrea stood quickly looking down the scope of her rifle. "There's a walker!" she called out. Angel stood looking as Rick, Shane, and Glen went running towards it. It was a good ways off. "I think I can shoot it," she said with a crease of a smile.

"No . . . I'll take care of tha' Langer." Angel jumped down from the roof and ran towards it passing the others. She took out her knife stopping in her tracks starring at it. "Daryl?" she questioned. He looked like hell. His side and face were covered in blood and he had two ears hanging from his neck.

"Yea . . ." By then the others had run up Rick aimed his gun at him. "You going to shoot me?" Rick let his gun rest. A shot rang out and Daryl fell back. Angel's heart dropped at that point. She thought he was dead. "I was just kidding!" Her heart returned beating it seemed. Rick and Shane quickly picked him up carrying him towards the house. "Glen go get Hershel!" Rick yelled. Angel just stood there for a minute then her anger bubbled over. She stomped back up to the RV where Andrea held her hand over her mouth looking at the group heading to the house.

"Oi feckin' said not ter shoot! Yer' feckin' eejit! Yer' almost killed 'im waaat de feck! Dense wagon!" she screamed at Andrea. She held her face in her hands and walked away. She distanced herself from everyone and began drinking. It felt like hours had passed since the incident. It was starting to get dark.

"Angel!" Lori called out from the distance. Angel turned taking another drink stumbling a bit.

"What?" she yelled back seeing that Lori was only a few feet away. "As' he alright? Can I see him?"

"You care for him don't you?"

"Aye. I care for tha' fuckin' twat. A bit more then I should."

"Really? Why?"

"He saved Jewel . . . makes me laugh," she said the last part to herself so Lori didn't hear it. She tucked the bottle away quickly not wanting any judgment from the woman starring at her with a hidden interest in what she said.

"Hershel said he was going to be ok . . . Come on we can ask if you can see him." Angel gave a small smile of gratitude and started walking towards the house with Lori by her side. Entering the house was nerve racking as people starred at her with a look she couldn't identify. Lori urged her ahead to a door. She knocked lightly. "Come in," Hershel said from the other side. She hesitated but opened the door. She closed the door behind her a bit scared to look at Daryl who laid out across the bed. His eyes followed her as she walked slowly to Hershel's side. "As' there anythin' I can do?" she asked not ready to look at the man in the bed.

"Actually can you disinfect the wound on his head where the bullet grazed?" He held a few alcohol pads up to her and she took them with a small smile. She looked at the ground walking to the other side of the bed knowing the man's eyes still starred her down. She took a seat on the bed beside him doing all see could to not look him in the eyes. "Come 'ere ya' twat," she said lowly taking one of the pads out of its protective case before pressing it gently against the wound. She rubbed it gently making sure it was clean. "I'll be right back. I have to get some more thread," Hershel said getting up and walking out the door closing it tightly behind him.

Angel finally allowed their eyes to meet her saddened green to his lively blue. A small pain tore at her heart and she laid by him hugging him slightly. A shocked expression shot across his face. He was going to push her away but a pain stopped him from moving. His mouth opened but before he could get a word out Angel's voice over powered his.

"Ya' dumb ass," she began hiding her face. "Ya' scared tha' shat' out of me . . . I thought I done lost ya'." She pushed herself away from him hiding silent tears that threatened to pool over.

"What do you care?" He questioned with knitted eyebrows. She just looked at him for a long moment with a glint in her eye.

"Jewel's goin' ta' need ya' if anythin' happened ta' me. An' . . . I care for ya' Daryl." The last words hit something but he could find no words until moments later.

"You said if I got hurt you weren't gonna' cry over me." He was trying to make her quit caring and piss her off. He couldn't fathom how to take these newfound feelings she had for him.

"Aye . . . I was wrong. I can't help 'at . . . Ya' make me feel like I use ta' before I . . . before I started goin' numb inside. Before I started drowning me self in booze every day ta' mask tha' hurt inside an' tha' guilt from all tha' wrong Oi've done 'cause I thought 'ere was nothin' better in life but pain an' death. Like I did before I lost my best friend ta' a fuckin' bullet. . . Daryl I had to watch him die . . . For a long time he was my sanity, tha' only thing tat' kept me from ending 'at all. After he left me, I turned inta' tis' . . . tis' thing tat' wanted nothin' more then death an' took pleasure 'an seein' people suffer." She paused taking a deep breath well aware that she was opening up a little. It scared her that she could do it so easily with him. "Ya' make me feel like Oi'm alive again . . . a normal person not tas' monster tat' Oi've been for the last five years of my life. For a while I thought maybe one day 'at would all get better but that hope died quickly . . . Like all my dreams." She let a tear slip down her cheek as images flashed by her eyes so quickly she couldn't tell what they were but whatever feelings they held behind them, she felt all of them. She turned her head to look at him one more time.

He starred at her with an unreadable emotion flashing in his eyes. She felt angry at herself then for opening up, she had promised herself she'd never let anyone that close to her heart again but she found that she lied to herself once again. She stood wiping her eyes tucking all the hurt she let bubble over in her words back where she thought it belonged. Back where she held onto every good memory she had. She gave one last glance before she walked out the door shutting out the world around her.

She found herself on top the RV drinking again; pain, guilt, and anger tearing her apart in a drunken haze. She didn't sleep that night as her mind spun.

She found herself sitting on a fence singing to the stars trying her best to throw all her emotions away so she could replace the mask she had lost in front of Daryl.

_I excuse myself_  
_I'm used to my little cell_  
_I amuse myself_  
_In my very own private hell_

_Lately I'm beside myself, pretending unconcerned_  
_Standing at a corner where I threw you on a turn_  
_I'll move on... _

_Flowers on a cross remain, marking an ending scene_  
_Damn it all if blood you spill, turn the grass more green_  
_Life is short... _

_Promises abound, you rarely find it to begin_  
_Maybe I'm afraid to let you all the way in_  
_I guess so... _


	4. Death Don't Want her, Life keeps kicking

Chapter Four: Death Don't Want Her, Life Keeps Kicking Her.

_Don't wanna lose control, inside of me. So I can't sleep.  
I feel the hate rise up. In you I'm free.  
I've been dealt. Fuck that spell. Let that Evil keep stabbing me  
Help it hurts deep inside. Was fool enough to reach for love.  
How bad I want you to feel the way I do.  
To make it true. Wish I could get back to real._

At some point in Angel's fucked up little world that she had built for herself as a child; night became day, her drunken haze became a hangover leaving her mind and emotions from the night before just regiments of pain to add to what she had already bottled up. She made herself believe she had never opened up, but one thing she couldn't lie to herself about was how much she cared for the man that still laid in that bed confused beyond belief by the girl. He tired hard not to think about it as he starred at the ceiling but it was the only thing that registered in his mind.

It was dawn when Angel finally came out of the alcohol-induced trance she had been under for the last few hours. Her mind felt clouded and her heart numb. She jumped down from the fence. She starred down her hand seeing at some point that she had tried to get rid of her anger by beating the fence, which did nothing but bust her knuckles. Small gashes blooded over as she clenched her fist trying to will them away. She took a small rag out her back pocket and spilt it in two tying them over the wounds tightly. Sleep deprivation left her numb all over and she liked it. She made her way to the camp slowly as if she had done something wrong. A few glances were casted her way but she shrugged them off. She knew it was going to be a shitty day but she'd greet it with a weaved smile at some point. She took a seat by Jewel who smiled at her greetingly.

Lori came over handing them two plates. Angel was going to decline but Lori had already prepared for this. "Look Angel if you eat something today I have a half bottle of wine tucked away that you can have," she said holding the plate out that held a small pile of scrambled eggs. Any other time she would've laughed at the woman but alcohol was going to be harder to come by in this world now. Angel gave a small nod. She took the plate as Lori starred down at her wrapped hands. "What happened to your hands?"

"I . . . I had a bit of a release last night. At's fine." She smiled quickly trying to reassure the woman it was nothing. It must've worked because she walked away without another word. Angel picked at the food taking small bites, her empty stomach turned a few times but she managed to keep them down. She shared a bottle of water with Jewel as they ate.

"I'm going on a run Rick," Shane said a few feet away. Angel jumped at the opportunity. "I wanna' come," she said excitedly walking up to Shane. Rick gave her a wary look. "Look Rick Oi'm quick an' I liked to see if I can find a tent for me an' Jewel." Rick gave a weak nod knowing if anything went wrong Shane could handle himself. Shane glared at Angel and she gave a weak smile not caring what the man thought. Her weapons were already in place and they left in a car.

They had a similar routine like Sunny and her once had. Sneak around the buildings and go through each store one at a time. Angel grabbed food and water along with a tent, three small thin blankets, and a bottle of rum for herself. She looked at some clothes as she finished up one store. She decided to take a few shirts and two pair of jeans. She tucked them all in her backpack and picked up a small basket she was using to hold the water and food. When she heard a moan she turned quickly to face a walker. Before she had a chance to take her machete out to be-head the thing Shane had shot it. "What tha' feck' Shane!" she whispered angrily glaring at him. "Yer' gonna' attract more like tat'."

"We got time." He headed for the back door with Angel on his heel, machete at hand. As they went through they were met with a disturbing sight. A large group of walkers were starting to surround them. They barely managed slipping past them to just get caught in another group of the things. They had no choice now they were going to have to fight them to reach the car. Angel sleeved her machete after knocking five down. She quickly drew both her pistols. The hand she carried the basket with was a bit more difficult to aim with but she made every single bullet count.

Shane starred at Angel for a moment when he shot a few walkers but two more seemed to take the place of each one he shot. He aimed his gun at Angel. He had a simple way to get out of this alive just like a previous night before when Carl had been shot and him and Otis had to get medical supplies. There was a reason he was alive now and the other man was not. He had shot Otis in the leg and left him to make it out alive. His sight wearied for a moment as he thought of repeating history.

Two shots ran out from his gun and Angel fell with a yell. She looked back seeing Shane pointing his gun at her. He mouthed a simple sorry as the walkers changed their main target of interest, it was her. She dropped the basket and held her abdomen where one bullet had embedded itself into her. Another bullet had shot straight through in between her collarbone and shoulder. She made herself stand and run for one of the buildings. She stumbled through looking for anything that could help her; she caught a glance of a stair case with a lone walker stumbling down them. She used her knife to stab him and ran up the stairs to the roof. She barricaded herself up there and took out all her sniper ammo and perched herself near the edge and started dropping them, there always seemed to be more to take their places though and she started running low on bullets.

Shane had made it back thinking of the story he would tell about Angel had stayed behind to let him make it back. It would work; it had to work. He drove up to the campsite where everyone had been waiting anxiously for their return. Some of the faces grew grim when he neared closer. He got out putting on a sorrowful gaze. Rick greeted him first. "Where's Angel?" he questioned.

"Rick . . . she . . . she stayed behind. She got shot someone was sniping one the roof and she got shot and she told me to leave her." Jewel had been listening behind Rick and she started screaming and crying.

Half way up into the day Rick had decided to have a memorial surface for Angel. He was giving a few words. Everyone had attended. Daryl stood by a cross that was placed to represent her death, his face full of guilt and sadness. He was angry with himself for not saying anything to her when she poured her heart out to him. Jewel hung onto him whimpering and it just made him feel more guilt. A sudden roaring sound came from the road leading to the farm. Everyone turned their heads in curiosity. It was a blue dirt bike with Angel riding it. She wiped out near the campsite she picked herself up as everyone came running. She had cut her arm falling with the bike and it poured blood now. She was covered in blood from her wounds and her eyebrows were knitted. She stumbled to the group with her knife clenched in her fist. Shane had lagged behind not knowing what to do now; they would all know what he had done. Rick tried to grab onto her arm along with Daryl but she shoved them away heading for one thing. "Shane!" she screamed in the purest form of rage and hate. She fell to her knees but made herself stand and kept stumbling towards him. She walked up to him attempting to stab him with the bloody knife but he pushed her to the ground. She yelled out in pain and tried to stand back up. She started throwing her empty guns at him screaming. "Ya' feckin' shot me! I almost feckin' died!" Her screams were eardrum shattering.

Shane said nothing in his defense as he dodged everything she threw. She finally fell back panting trying to ease the pain away. She grabbed her abdomen with silent tears running down her face. Rick, T-dog, Daryl, and Glen went running to help her. "Someone go tell Hershel!" Rick yelled trying to help Angel up. She pushed them all away. "Don't feckin' touch me!" She made herself stand and stumbled to the house. Daryl tried aiding her but she shoved him away nearly falling herself. She turned her head one more time to look at Shane. "I will feckin' kill ya'." At that point she finally collapsed in a pained sob. Rick quickly picked her up ignoring her protest that she could walk herself.

Hershel met them at the door he led the way to the bedroom he had patched up Daryl in the day before. He laid her out on the bed as she cried out. "Maggie! Patricia! I need you now!" Hershel yelled and they ran in waiting for whatever orders he gave. "Put something on her so I can work on the wound around her collarbone." He shooed everyone out. They all waited outside the door as Angel's vocal rage rang throughout the house. "I feckin' got 'at! Give me feckin' knife an'lighter! I don't need help!"

Hours later Rick and Daryl were the only ones left waiting outside the door listening to her protests and yells of pain. Hershel had to dig out the bullet in her abdomen and stitch the bullet wounds and gash up. He emerged from the door. "She lost a lot of blood but she'll be ok. It's a miracle that she's still alive . . . she claims Shane shot her. The bullet I dug out was from a small gun not a sniper. She's a bit delusional but you can see her if it's needed."

They went in quickly. Angel laid out across the bed tossing violently and mumbling profanities and promised threats in Shane's name. Her shirt and bra had been removed and a towel had been wrapped and tied around her to hide her breast. Daryl's breath caught as he stared at her stomach. There were more bullet scars and gashes then he could count and he knew they trailed even farther down but her pants hid them. She held a bottle of rum in her hand; taking swallows left and right breathing heavily begging the pain to subside. Rick sat in a chair beside the bed and Daryl leaned against the wall, his mind void of everything but the scars her skin adored and blood covering the sheets underneath her.

"What happened out there Angel?" Rick asked softly. She started laughing as if it was the funniest thing she had ever heard. Her eyes were a blood red color contrasting against the white awfully.

"He feckin' shot me." She turned the bottle up spilling some onto the wound by her shoulder and winching against it. "Af' I hadn't found tha' bike I be 'an their feckin' stomachs . . . But tha' feckin' eejit couldn't feckin' catch me." She laughed with a lot of effort. Her words were slurred terribly, she was clearly drunk.

"Shane shot you? Why?" Truth was he didn't trust Angel or Shane and he didn't know what to believe.

"Aye! Wanker feckin' put two 'an me didn't even blink. Oi was jus' tryin' to get out of 'ere with him. He didn't feckin' know a bullet can't kill me." She laughed and got angry when he didn't find it funny. "Yer' a buzz kill. Jus' leave if ya' don't believe me. Yer' pissin' on me sunshine . . . Ya' know what Rick why don't ya jus' tell every feckin' body that Oi'm a monster! That Oi killed people before this. But Shane he had more demons then me, he's 'as worse then me. 'Af he had tha' chance he kill ya' too . . . Watch me words, he's a bad man." That perked Daryl head up in endless questions. He starred at the girl further but she paid him no mind and she eventually turned away from Rick.

Rick finally turned and stood shaking his head in frustration. He left the room and turned giving Daryl a glance. Silently questioning if he was staying. Daryl just looked back to Angel not changing his expression. Rick sighed and shut the door behind him to go look for Shane. After a few moments of dead silence he took the chair Rick had sat in as his own. Angel had ventured of from reality a bit. She let the bottle drop gently to the wood floor. Tears rolled down her cheek but they were from somewhere deeper that no bullet or knife could ever touch.

"Oi thought Oi was gonna' be coming home ta' ya' Lunar." She whimpered a painful sob. "Ya' too Sunny . . . I was so close but somethin' wouldn't let me . . . I jus' wanna' die that's all Oi've wanted for so long . . . Oi found someone who could make me laugh like ya' use ta'. Oi thought he could fix me but . . . Oi opened my heart trying to let him know tat' he could but . . . 'At doesn't matter . . . Why won't ya' ever talk ta' me anymore? I miss ya' so much 'eres not one day tat' goes by where I don't think 'bout ya'. I don't wanna be tis' anymore. Oi'm so sick inside and Oi can't let 'at go no matter how many tears Oi shed."

She let her private babbling go with one last tear and wiped them away grabbing her collarbone. She looked at Daryl well aware he heard every word by the expression on his face. "Oi'm sorry I opened up ta' ya'. Oi'm scared for ya' . . . Oi hope ya' hate me, 'at seems every time I start ta' care for someone else an' they care back . . . they leave me. Sunny always hated me since we met . . . when he started carin' for me he got bit. Even with his last words he tried ta' make me feel better. He was a batter person then me they always have been . . . so why did they die an' I got ta' live? Jus' leave me be with my insanity Oi'm goin' ta' leave all you be." She grabbed his hand. He almost snatched it away from her but her touch made him feel a comfortable numbness. She starred into his blue eyes hers turning a dark violet color. "Oi'm goin' ta' leave when Oi get better . . . Ya' have ta' make me a promise Daryl."

"What is it?"

"Ya' will keep Jewel safe no matter what. She has a beautiful heart . . . innocence a trait tat' everyone deserves ta' have at least once. . . I never got tha' chance ta' really have 'at when I was a child . . . 'Af this hellish world shows mercy to good people ya' an' her would live forever."

"How do you know I'm a good person? I could be a murderer for all you know." He didn't let his stare linger away from her eyes.

"At's in yer' eyes . . . words can fool any man but eyes can't. Ya' jus' have ta' know what ta' look for when ya' look 'an some one's eyes . . . Oi've killed a lot of bad men 'an my life. . . I watched their eyes, as they died . . . begging for forgiveness ta' whatever god they were taught ta' pray ta' . . . even with their last few breaths they still tried ta' fool someone . . . Eyes so empty and holding no guilt or care . . . couldn't even tell tha' difference after they died . . . Jus' promise me Daryl please."

" . . . I will take care of her to my last breath . . . get some sleep you've had too much to drink." The girl that lay before him was a mystery but one thing he knew for sure she had been through hell before the outbreak, you can lie with words but you can't with that many scars. He knew one thing at that moment that he didn't want to acknowledge, he wished he could take that pain away that seemed to have no bottom.

"Maybe . . ." she said letting her gentle grip on his hand go. "Oi think Oi've had just enough ta' slip into a comfortable numb sleep where Oi won't relive tragedy." She offered a smile that he returned before getting up and walking away slowly. He looked at her once more before shutting the door. She actually looked peaceful for once as she starred into a corner thinking only God knows what.

He ventured around the camp looking for Rick. He caught a few last words between Rick and Shane. "I didn't want Jewel to think the person she looked up to was a killer . . . she tried to kill me I shot her once but it didn't even phase her so I had to do it again," Shane said angrily.

"Well why didn't you just say that in the first place?"

"Because . . . Like I said I didn't want Jewel to know." With that Shane stormed passed Daryl catching a glare. He didn't believe Shane's poor excuse and he didn't think Rick did either. A pain caught in his side from his injuries that he had ignored once he saw Angel's condition and the way she handled it. "Rick can we talk?"

He turned his head slowly to look at Daryl. "About what?"

"Angel."

"What about her?"

"This big secret you know about her that no one else does."

"Why would you wanna bother with it . . . I honestly think it's best if she leaves."

"Oh you believe that piss poor story Shane gave . . ." He was getting a bit angry now. "I think whatever happened out there that he was trying to kill her. The way she came into the camp today after him . . . that was revenge. Besides you're gonna tell me he shot her twice and she didn't put a scratch on him. That's not what I came to talk about though. What do you know about her?"

"Alright. You can't tell anyone else though until we know what to do . . . She was a hired gun before the outbreak. She went around getting paid to kill people . . . as far as I know it was only people who were slinging drugs and killing . . . but she is mentally unstable I'm sure of that. If she snapped she could hurt a lot of people . . ."

"I don't think she would . . . I'll agree with you that she ain't quite all there but I don't think she'd hurt any of us . . . well maybe Shane. She could've done killed him if she wanted."

"Do you trust her?" Daryl paused at that question thinking hard.

"More then I trust Shane . . ."

"She seems to trust you quite a bit . . . will you watch her?"

"Yea." With that final word he turned and left Rick to whatever thoughts he had going through his head. He wanted to go find Sophia tomorrow he had found her doll when he got hurt and lost the horse. He didn't want to leave Angel anywhere around Shane though. He went to his tent and went to sleep.

Angel had caught an hour of restless sleep when she awoke with her heart pounding and her mind racing. She pushed herself out of the bed refusing to let the pain get the better of her she pulled on her boots and her tank top winching against the fabric scratching against her wounds. She noticed now her weapons were nowhere to be found that worried her beyond belief. She had no idea what she was going to do but she had to get out of the house before a panic attack made her loose what sanity she had left. She stumbled through the house making it outside with a lot of effort. She had to lean against the rails of the porch to catch a breath before she collapsed. She found herself sitting a top the RV once again it had become somewhat of a little haven for her when she grew restless. She felt safe up there, her mind would clear some.

For a moment she had convinced herself that she's leave this place right then and there but leaving Jewel made her feel a lot of guilt that she knew she couldn't cope with. She didn't have her weapons either. She wanted a drink suddenly then realized she had drunk it all. That made her frown and she just sighed. _'Shane almost killed you . . . almost left Jewel all alone . . . how can you let him live?' _The voice chimed in shattering the silence that she was enjoying.

"Cause at's not my place ta' play god anymore."

_'He's scum . . . just like your parents were, like all the men you've killed.'_

"Please jus' leave me alone . . . I don't want ta' kill anymore . . . I don't wanna' feel anger anymore. Karma will come an' get him."

_'Just like it came and killed your parents for you . . . no you and me did it. If it weren't for me we'd still be in that cage rotting away."_

"Af at weren't for ya' we be dead where we belong."

_'Death if for good and bad men . . . we are the balance. These people will need you one day. Killing Shane will show them you can protect them not only from the walkers but bad men as well.'_

"Shut up wit' yer' lies. One day ya will be gone . . . I don't need ya' anymore I haven't for years so leave me be. . . Tis' world will embrace me some day this was tha' world I was meant ta' be born 'an." She finally willed it away and started practicing regular speech. She wanted to talk normal now really bad, maybe it was Daryl she didn't know. She just had to.


	5. Black Gives Way to Blue

So here's chapter five I already have chapter six written but I been having a case of writers block lately when I sit down and stare at the screen. I will not make you wait too long though.

Anyway I think your're going to like this one. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter Five: Black Gives Way To Blue

_I_ _don't wanna feel no more. It's easier to keep falling.  
Imitations are pale. Emptiness all tomorrows.  
Haunted by your ghost. Fading out by design  
Consciously avoiding changes. Curtains drawn now it's done  
Silencing all. Tomorrows Forcing a goodbye_

_Lay down, black gives way to blue_  
_Lay down, I'll remember you..._

Angel never went back to sleep and an hour before dawn she decided to get some exercise. She found a tree with a sturdy straight branch sticking out that she could reach. She started doing pull ups refusing to let the sharp pains stop her from doing it just like she had refused to die until Shane had paid for what he done. "What the hell are you doing?" a voice barked behind her. She let go of the branch mid way into a pull up and fell back; a hard thud vibrated throughout her body as she landed on her side with a pained yell. She looked up at Daryl with a glare.

"Exercising you dummy," she grunbledin a clearer voice with the Irish accent gone. That made him silent for a moment. He offered to help her up but she pushed herself up quickly with a lot of effort; she refused to let him see visible pain even though on the inside she was screaming and crying.

"What happened to that back woods accent of yours?"

"Ditched it. Just had to make myself. Why are you up so early?"

"I always am."

"What happened to all my guns and my knife?"

"Don't know you did throw them at Shane maybe he has them."

"No . . . Well maybe Rick . . . Fuck." She leaned against the tree holding her head and her face turned pale. His glare softened into a concerned look.

"Are you ok?" She slid down the tree and let her head rest against her knees.

"No I'm not," she admitted regretting it instantly when he came and took a seat beside her.

"You're bleeding." She looked down to her stomach and the bullet wound sure enough was bleeding.

"You know why?" She questioned but before he had time to guess or ask why. She stood and headed for the small fire that was still burning lowly in the middle of the camp. "Because people don't know shit about patching you up and letting you on your way. They wanna' drag it out as much as possible . . . it's ok though." She pulled a small silver dagger out of her boot and placed it close to the fire. She then untied one of the bandages around her hands and held it with a clenched fist. "When did you do that?" he asked looking at the gashes on her knuckles. She looked at him with an unreadable look somewhere between the lines of anger and sadness.

"Thought a walker snuck up on me the other night, turned out to be a wooden fence." She smiled. "Gonna' show you how two hit two birds with one stone and don't over react when I do because I've done it a million times before." She bit down on the rag and ripped the stitches out of the bullet wound on her abdomen her face twisted in visible pain but she made no sound. The wound was bigger then originally now and pouring blood.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he yelled grabbing her arm and glaring at her. She picked the dagger up shrugging his arm off. The tip was glowing a white red now. She took the small rag and put it in her mouth biting down hard. She lifted up her shirt and sat down leaning back. She stuck the knife to the wound. A sizzling sound signaled flesh being burned. She kicked the ground with her foot and gave a few growls against the pain; she leaned forward sticking the hot blade to each one of her knuckles. She stuck the knife back to the fire so she could finish. She looked up to Daryl who starred at her with a shocked expression. Tears drooled down her cheeks.

"Cool ain't it. Now don't have to worry bout infection or bleeding." She wiped her tears away. "Stitches don't work for me. Wounds take too long to heal just remember you have to use metal if you ever need to do it . . . If it makes you less pissed at me I'll leave my arm alone." She rubbed over the bandages on her right forearm and smiled at him. He was intrigued and disgusted all at once, he just shook his head and walked off leaving her to it, he couldn't stand seeing the tears roll down her cheeks knowing it hurt her badly. He had to say something though.

"You were less annoying with the accent. Couldn't understand everything you said." She acted like she didn't hear him and continued patching her knuckles up. She left the wound by her shoulder alone considering how bad ripping the stitches out hurt on the other, she tucked the dagger back in its place. She stood not having any idea what she would do now. It's then she noticed Shane watching her she gave him a glare. If looks could kill he'd be dead. She walked to him keeping a few feet between them. "I want my shit back. Did you take them?" she demanded starring daggers into him.

"Why would I want those b-b guns of yours? I think yesterday did you some good you ain't talking like a retard no more."

"Shane . . . bad people have to pay one day for every deed that went overlooked. I pray for you . . . I forgive you . . . but if you ever try to tear me away from that little girl again I will kill you . . ." She spat on the ground by his feet and stuffed her hands in her pockets. She walked away finally after they starred each other down. She distanced herself then scared to see Jewel. She found a fairly large tree and decided to climb it. She made it all the way to the top stopping to give her body a rest. She braced herself against two limbs standing and looking over the farm. She felt numb again, so empty inside she thought she'd cave into herself.

"Gotta' keep on rocking on the road to Zion," she whispered to herself. "God," she started looking at the sky. "What do you want me to do now? Just show me and I'll do it. I'll be your soldier just don't let anything happen to Jewel. Just let me have her around, I can't watch another person die that I care for." She said what she thought whoever was in charge wanted to hear before she climbed down. She went back to the camp looking for Rick. Everyone looked at her like she was a ghost but they said nothing. She ignored the looks and kept searching.

She didn't see Rick so she guessed he was at the house. She walked up to the door knocking lightly and Hershel answered the door. "Hello Angel what can I help you with?"

"I was wondering if you seen Rick around I need to speak to him about what happened to my stuff . . . and I never properly thanked you for helping me yesterday. Thank you Hershel. Also umm can I speak to one of the girl that put the towel round me? I didn't see some of my clothes."

"Rick and me were just speaking in the kitchen, come in. I'll ask when I see them." He held the screen door open for her; she nodded a thanks and walked in waiting for him to lead the way. Upon seeing Rick she felt uneasy. "Morning Rick," she said lightly.

"I'll leave you two to it then," Hershel said before leaving the room. "Have a seat Angel," Rick said bringing his hands together placing them lightly on the table. She quickly took a seat with a nervous smile that quickly turned into a frown. "It's good to see you up walking around," he added.

"Feels good to be up and around. Still hurting but . . . I'm ok." He just sat there saying nothing. "Do you believe me about what I told you last night. I know I was a bit off the rocker but . . ."

"Tell me the whole story up to you crashing the bike and trying to stab Shane yesterday."

"Well . . ."

_ After she was shot and got on the roof she was faced with a problem. Not only was she bleeding out but also she was low in ammo and more walkers were coming. She had to think quickly before she had no chance of making it out alive. She started walking around looking over the small town. There didn't seem to be anything she could use. She spotted a truck in the corner by a building with a small trailer attached to it. She had no idea what was on the back._

_She had to make a decision now. Time was running out. She quickly pulled her back pack in front of her praying it was still in there. She pulled out a flare gun and returned the pack and rifle to her back. She went over where the most walkers had gathered and shot out in the other direction. Some of them bought it and she quickly ran back across the roof adrenaline keeping her going. She let her body drop to the ground with a hard thud. Quickly she stood back up taking out her knife and machete hacking away at only the walkers that opposed a threat. Her adrenaline was nearly gone by the time she reached the vehicle. She jumped in seeing there were no keys and it'd take too long to hot wire it considering it was fairly new. She looked in the rearview mirror seeing that on the trailer was a dirt bike she saw a set of keys on the seat and quickly snatched them up before shooting off the lock on the trailer._

_Walkers started pouring in the small area. She quickly hopped on praying like hell that it would start. With a few tries it revved to life and she back it up taken off just before the walkers could reach her. It got harder keeping her eyes open, every second she got closer to death but anger kept her going. She refused to let Shane live after what he done._

"That's it," she said ending the story. "I have to ask do you believe him over me?"

"I don't know what to think . . . He lied about what happened to you. Hershel confirmed that after he dug the bullet out."

"Rick I don't expect you to trust me or even care for me but do you know what happened to my weapons and stuff yesterday . . . do you care if I have my weapons back . . . I've been thinking about leaving you people be. I'm an outsider here. I don't know where I'd go or what I could do but . . ."

"What about Jewel?"

"Daryl would take care of her, he promised me."

"I don't think he wants you to leave . . . he stood up for you last night and he ain't the kind to trust someone easy. I was thinking about asking you to leave but . . ."

"It's Shane?" Rick changed the subject.

"You're stuff is still in the bedroom in the closet. Dale's got your weapons tucked up in the RV."

"What do you want me to say if anyone asks what happened?" He cocked an eyebrow at that.

"That you were shot, end of the story." She frowned at that but stood and left to retrieve her belongings. She walked into the bedroom to see the sheets had been changed and her backpack and a change of clothes had been laid out on the bed. She tucked the clothes away. She did however remove the towel and put her bra on. Her backpack was a lot heavier then it should've been then she remembered the stuff she had picked up before everything went to shit. Jewel would've liked to have a tent all to herself with Angel catching a few naps here and there.

She left the house passing Maggie giving a small nod. "Thanks for helping me yesterday," she said softly hoping she wouldn't have to repeat herself. She went to the campsite finding Jewel playing with Carl. "Hey darlin' good morning," she said greeting them. The girl smiled brightly and ran up and hugged Angel.

"Angel I'm so glad you're alright. Everyone told me you were dead yesterday but you're not. I never believed them any way because you promised you would take care of me."

"Yes . . . I'm not going to leave you." She regretted the words right after they slipped out because she still believed it was best on the group if she slipped out of the picture. "You want to help me set up the tent I got yesterday?"

"We got our own tent!" Her voice perked up and she smiled at Angel. "Can Carl help?"

"If Lori says it's ok." Jewel ran to Lori that sat watching them along with Carol that Angel had overlooked. "Lori, Lori! Can Carl help me and Angel put up our tent."

"I . . . yes don't go to far though." She looked at Carl.

Over the next thirty minutes they had picked out a spot and got the tent up without complication. "Hey Carl you wanna see a trick?" Angel asked sitting down by the tent.

He nodded his head, meaning yes. She motioned for him to sit down in front of her and he complied quickly eager to see what was going to happen. Jewel knew what she was doing when she placed her hands under his flatly, she knew because Sunny and Angel used to do the same thing to her until she caught on to what they were doing. "Will you cover his eyes for me," she asked looking at Jewel.

"Yes." She walked over placing one hand over his eyes. She was excited that she finally had a chance to play the trick on someone else.

"Now Carl," Angel began. "It will only work if you believe in something people think are stupid."

"Like what?"

"Like unicorns or maybe even a Chupacabra." Jewel laughed.

"I believe in vampires. Would that work?"

"Yes. Now on the count of three something amazing will happen if you truly believe. One. Two. Three . . ." Jewel used her hand to pop the top of Carl's hand and he pulled his hands away quickly and shrugged off Jewel's other hand over his eyes. He looked at his hand in astonishment. "What hit my hand?" he asked.

"What ever you wanted it to be." He had nothing to say. She stood when Lori walked over. "School time," she announced. Angel nodded to Jewel. "I think that's a good idea," she said with a crooked smile.

"But Angel," she whined in return.

"Nope . . . you need an education. You better thank Lori for it too." Jewel glared at Angel then looked at Lori.

"Thank you Lori." She walked over to Carl and the three started walking away leaving Angel to herself. "Lori wait," Angel said walking after her. "You two go on to Carol at the table," she said motioning for them to go ahead. She turned and looked at Angel with an unreadable look that made Angel want to run and hide. Angel was thinking of something to say when Lori questioned her. "What happened yesterday?"

"Shane . . . I don't know me and Shane were trying to make it to the car we were surrounded by walkers. Two gun shots rang out I looked down and this is what I saw . . ." she lifted her bloody tank top up to show the now burned wound.

"What did you do to it?" she cocked an eyebrow and looked back up to Angel also noticing the same marks on her knuckles and some of the other scars on her stomach.

"I scarred it over so it wouldn't stretch and bleed anymore . . . I've done it quite a lot before and it just works better then stitches."

"So Shane didn't shoot you?" Angel bit her lip making herself hold the truth back. She sighed.

"At the time I was sure but after all the blood I lost, everything is so blurry I don't know."

"You look like hell . . ."

"Living up to my name." That got a small smile from Lori. "I still remember you offering that wine though."

"You can have it . . . Will you drank some water Hershel said your body might shut down if you don't eat . . . but I know you wont so will you at least drink this water." She held out a bottle of water for her. Angel gave a grateful nod because she was really thirsty but didn't want to ask anyone. She took it and went and sat in the tent with the opening peeled back. As the day went on it got hotter and the sweat started pouring down her face. She pushed herself out of the tent.

She headed for the RV feeling like she was going to throw up but she knew that all it would be was the alcohol from the night before and the water she had been sipping on. Her body wasn't handling the blood loss well and her face went pale, dark circles danced in front of her eyes and she knew she was on the verge of passing out but she made herself keep moving. "Hey Dale can I speak with you!" she called up to the man sitting in a chair on top the RV. He peered over motioning for her to come up there with him. She climbed the ladder up slowly praying she wouldn't black out as she looked up and her legs nearly collapsed from under her.

She sat near the edge and looked back to him with a forced smile. "You should be resting . . . I've never seen someone jump up from what you did."

"Scared if I give myself a break I won't get back up . . ." There was a long moment of silence.

"What happened yesterday Angel?" That nearly made her snap she didn't want to lie for the bastard that shot her again.

"If I tell you the truth will you tell every one else?"

"Why don't you just tell everyone the truth?" he retorted in a soft voice.

"Rick asked me . . ." She choked on her breath and had to catch her breath before speaking. "He asked me not to and I want Jewel to be here with you all even if I leave-" He cut her off quickly.

"You can't go out there by yourself!"

"Dale . . . I've seen things that make the dead getting up walking around look like a fairy tale . . . I've been alone most of my life and I think you would all be better off without me around . . . when I see Shane I nearly have to put a leash on myself not to kill him . . . he did shoot me yesterday one bullet right after the other."

"I never trusted him . . ."

"Do you trust me?"

"More then I trust Shane."

"You shouldn't . . . can't even trust myself. I came up here to ask you if I could have my machete and knife back."

"Why?"

"Because I need them . . . for peace of mind. I understand no one wanting me to carry guns around. Will you hang onto them for me?"

"Yes . . . no one else will touch them."

"So I can have my knifes back?"

"Yes hang on just a minute."

He climbed down and returned with what she requested and placed them beside her. "Thank you Dale," she said softly strapping them onto herself. "You can't be serious," a voice boomed from the ground. It was Shane. "She tried to kill me yesterday! She's delusional! She belongs in a mental hospital!" Angel's anger over took her actions and before Dale had a chance to get a word in she had jumped to the ground and confronted Shane with a low growl.

"You think I need a weapon to kill you. I could snap your neck like a twig you piece of shit," she growled lowly. He shoved her away from him her back banged against the RV with a loud thud. She cried out lowly before regaining her balance. "Don't touch me you scum!" she whispered angrily trying to hide the pain that shot through her body. She attempted punching him but her movements were slow and he grabbed her by the throat and slammed her up against the RV attempting to choke her out. She started clawing at him and kicking with all she could manage. "Shane stop it!" Dale yelled loudly.

"I'm going to end this before you hurt anyone," he whispered tightening the grip around her throat. She clawed uselessly at his face. She thought she was actually going to stop breathing when Daryl shoved Shane away causing her to collapse to the ground gasping for air tears rolling down her cheek in the effort. Daryl started fighting Shane with everything he had before T-dog and Glen jumped in pulling them apart. Everyone that heard the yelling had gathered around watching the scene unfold. "Shane what the hell are you doing?" Andrea barked running to Angel trying to help her up but she just pushed her away gently trying to catch her breath.

"She's a danger to all of us! She needs to leave!"

"Your the fucker who tried to choke me," Angel whispered winching at the effort to talk. She made herself stand and walked away from the chaos trying her best not to pass out or stumble. She was going to go hide out in the woods until the chaos died down and maybe she could kill a few squirrels or even if she got lucky a deer to eat. Half way through her walked she bent over letting the contents of her stomach fall to the ground and passed out.

Dreams what strange things they were, where all your hopes and dreams could come true. Angel's never did though they were always nightmares that she had long lived. Every time she thought she ridded the pain of a terrible time in her life her dreams would never let her live it down. That what was happening right now.

_ Angel walked down a long dirt road already knowing where it'd take her, somewhere she liked to think never existed. She wanted to turn and walk back but every time she turned Sunny, Lunar, and a young woman stood there unmoving with lifeless eyes. She knew if she tried to run to them they would all die before she could reach them, She couldn't help them from their fates. It always happened. "They're not real and you can't help them," she told herself when she came up to a house taking one last look back to see them all standing there with the same expression._

_ She stared at the beat down home for a long time. Her feet made her move to it because she knew the faster she walked in the quicker she could wake up. She kicked the door in and time slowed down inside. A young girl being beaten by an older woman stood out in the middle of the room. Her tears went unheard only falling on death ears of a teenage girl that sat on a small dirty couch. Her laughs pierced Angel's ears and everything moved in slow motion. She watched the girl being beaten wishing she could do something. That girl was Angel and this had actually happened at one time. The older woman her mother and the teenage girl her sister._

_ She went and sat on the couch watching scenes play out with no sign of emotion. A man walked in snatching the child up, her father. He threw her on the floor in a drunken haze and raped her leaving the girl praying for death on the floor. Angel couldn't watch another one of the scenes so she ventured to the basement. There was junk everywhere and the smell of piss and anger met her nose almost knocking her back._

_ She starred in a corner where a cage stood with the girl inside unmoving hugging her knees. Angel walked to the cage and held onto the bars. "Why do they hate us Angel?" the girl asked looking up. Angel herself still didn't know the answer after all these years._

_ "I still don't know . . . they were bad people."_

_ "We suffered so much . . . why do we still? What did we ever do wrong?"_

_ "We'll never know." Just then her mother charged down the steps throwing scraps of food in the cage for the girl to eat. Angel couldn't watch it anymore. She tore herself away from the violence and misery walking back up stairs. Another scene played out. The day she ended it all. The day she finally thought she had bought her freedom._

_ The girl grabbed up a shotgun shooting her mother then her father. She then mutilated their bodies with power tools commanding a symphony of madness. Angel knew she could leave now. She walked through the front door without looking back and found herself in a hospital room._

_She looked back ready to run in the house but it was gone only a white wall met her. She walked up to the hospital bed looking down to a sunken face of a young woman that was once beautiful but cancer had robbed that of her. "Jade how you doing?" she heard herself say but her mouth didn't move. "The doc says your doing a lot better. Not much longer we can go back on tour."_

_The girl smiled briefly. "Yea not much longer . . ." she coughed wheezing heavily after her few words. "Angel we've had a good life together. After juvie I knew you were the one to make life good again."_

_Angel choked on tears. Watching another one of her friends die hurt so much. "Yea . . . We saved each other. You're the sister I never got to have." She grabbed her hand and squeezed lightly. "Life has been good to us and you'll be better soon."_

_"I love you Angel." The girl closed her eyes her smile fading away._

_"I just got hear and you're going to go to sleep." There was no reply and a machine went off signaling her heartbeat was gone now. The doctors ripped her away and tried reviving her. Angel fell back in the corner watching herself fight the doctors with everything she had trying to reach Jade's side. They finally let her go when there was nothing they could do for the girl. She ran to Jade and fell to her knees begging her to wake up. "Time of death 5:42," the doctor said leaving Angel be._

Angel woke up with tear filled eyes pushing herself up quickly. She hugged her knees crying silently. "Why do you fucking keep doing this to me?" she screamed angrily to the air and stopped realizing she was back in the bedroom at the house. She turned her head numbly seeing Daryl sitting in the chair. He said nothing to her. She sank back wiping her tears away. "So your new thing is watching me sleep?"

"You talk in your sleep."

"Yea I know . . . I try not to sleep in the first place. Why am I in here? What happened?"

"You almost died . . . again. Hershel said you wouldn't wake up but I didn't believe it when I came in and you were talking and trying to fight the damn air."

"Is Jewel ok?"

"She's fine . . . Better question is are you ok?" He leaned closer to her.

"Big difference between your definition then mine . . . I'm just glad I'm awake now."

"I don't think you're ok. I don't think you have been for years. What's wrong with you? Tell me."

"What do you care?" she turned away from him. Turning her back to him. He now noticed the wings tattooed on her back that stretched all the way down. Scars distorted the tattoo making it lose all it's hidden meaning. He knew he could push her away and he wanted to but he'd never be able to bring her back.

"Someone had to. I don't think you even care about yourself."

"You're right I don't, someone tie a ribbon around him." Her tone was cold and short. She didn't care anymore she was tired of digging deep inside to find a smile to put on for these people. She was sick of them and just life in general. She pushed herself back up and threw her feet on the floor her back facing him. She stood with a grunt and pulled a clean t-shirt over her bra.

"Where you think you're going?" He questioned standing up quickly.

"I'm leaving . . . going back to my ways being alone. There's numbness in that loneliness that keeps me alive. People make me weak . . . people like you and Jewel. If I stay here I won't make it much longer."

"You're not going anywhere!" He stepped between her and the door locking it. "You're selfish you know that!" he spat with venom. "It's always about you! If you can leave that little girl behind when you mean so much to her you're worse then Shane!"

"You don't know what your talking about Dixon. Move!" She tried pushing him out the way but he kept his feet planted and she grabbed her abdomen in pain. He couldn't live with himself if he let her go out there and not know what ever happened to her. He'd rather have her here hating him then die out there and become on of those things.

"You'll die out there!"

"You'll shut the fuck up! Let me have a diva moment . . . this world don't need me no more." She hissed and pushed him back. His anger got the better of him when a pain shot up his side. He shoved her back onto the bed.

"Listen to your fucking self for a minute! You ain't thinking straight right now."

"Better then fucking ever." She attempted getting up again but he pinned her arms above her head. She had enough of this game she wrapped her legs around his side and squeezed knowing it would hurt. He gave a small grunt and fell on her loosing his footing as a shocking pain ran through him. She gritted her teeth squeezing as hard as she could manage. "Let go," he growled painfully. He couldn't take it anymore he kept her arms pinned down with one hand and used the other to push his thumb in the wound near her shoulder. They glared into each other's eyes giving hisses and growls against their pain.

Angel finally let her grip around his side loosen and let her legs slide to his waist as a tear drooled down her face. He removed his thumb from the wound and starred at her as their noses touched. He let his body relax a bit and noticed her warmth was right against his crotch, he said nothing though and neither did she noticing the same thing.

Then it just happened, it was light a small spark that touched a pool of gasoline and blew up. He crushed his lips down on hers roughly grabbing both sides of her face letting her arms go. She clawed at his back aggressively. They breathed heavy with anger and frustration. He let his tongue whip against hers his mind clouded by a sudden lust that no normal woman could ever satisfy.

They started ripping each other's clothes off not breaking the kiss. She ripped his shirt down the middle throwing it aside and he did the same. She pulled him down so their skin was touching. His muscles taunt against her touch and she bit down on his lip with hunger. He ripped her bra off and pulled his lips away from hers and began sucking and biting her nipple roughly while he used his hand to tease the other.

She dug her nails in his back and pulled his hair roughly, which caused him to get rougher with her. "Im going to fucking cherish you," he said lowly moving to her neck biting down hard enough to break the skin. She growled lowly as the warmth spread through her body. He ripped off the button of her pants as he tugged at them to get them off. He yanked them and her underwear down her legs throwing them aside. Her gabbed her legs possessively throwing them against his shoulder and held them down as she grunted. He placed his mouth in between her legs and began flicking his tongue against her clit and began devouring her taking in her scent and taste. She bucked and moaned lowly gripping the headboard of the bed pulling on it roughly to keep herself from attacking him with a hunger that was eating her alive. He made her cum and she moaned and whined loudly. He moved back up to her face removing his pants as he kissed her roughly.

He ripped his pants off and his bulge came into view he didn't give her much time to look because he stuck it straight in. Her tightness and warmth almost made his arms buckle; he quickly pushed them under her back and grabbed her shoulders to brace her against him closely. He began pumping her roughly. They starred into each other's eyes never breaking contact. Their breathing heavied and moisture collected on their faces. Her now dark purple eyes didn't miss a glance into his blue. They finally came at the same exact time. His low grunts and growls matched her moans and whimpers. He finally turned over and laid beside her and listened to how in sync their breathing was. They couldn't lie to themselves any longer they had fallen hard for each other.

The exercise took a lot of their anger and frustration away. His next moves were more gentle and caring he pulled her sweaty body to his and they held each other before falling into a peaceful slumber.


	6. Rotten Apple

On this chapter I got really close to the story line but I did change it up a bit. I know the ending was a big part for Rick on the show I'm not trying to make Angel the leader or anything of the short, so please don't take it that way. I will fray of from taking big moments from the show and making them revolve around her in later chapters.

Anyone whos reading this just for some Daryl loves will probably be disappointing in some chapters to come because I'm going to work on other relationships in the group and make an effort to make her a major player in the group. these are ideas I'm strongly for right now but I have had a case of the writer's block lately. I don't know just have to wait and see lol. Anyway on with the story!

* * *

Chapter 6: Rotten Apple

_Innocence is over, ignorance is spoken._

_Confidence is broken, sustenance is stolen._

_Arrogance is potent._

_Yeah, What I see is unreal  
I've written my own part  
Seed of the apple, so young  
I'm crawling back to start._

_I repent tomorrow, I suspend my sorrow._

_A romance has fallen. Recommend you borrow. . ._

Waking up to a face . . . to the person you promised yourself you'd never let in. . . never let yourself care for; was a hard thing for Angel. At first she thought it was her mind playing tricks but she knew all too well what they had done. It was such a beautiful thing but she knew now it would hurt if she lost him. She was mad at herself. All the anger and frustration she let go was now building back up towards herself. Why didn't he just let her leave? Now it would be even harder. Even harder to push him out.

Carefully she removed his arms that were wrapped around her skinny figure. A knock sounded at the door and it woke him up. He looked at her for a minute then they both scrambled to put their clothes on refusing to share a glance. "Daryl are you still in there I need to check Angel's blood pressure?" Hershel's voice said softly.

Daryl went and answered the door after hiding his ripped shirt under the bed. Angel hid her upper body under the white sheets. Hershel walked in carry some short of equipment he stopped and starred at Daryl for a moment. All sorts of thoughts ran passed his eyes and Angel caught it just as clear as a sunny day. He walked over to Angel and sat in the chair leaving Daryl leaning against the wall. "It's good to see you awake. I don't see how you made it. It was a miracle to begin with then now . . . the good Lord must have a lot of plans for you," Hershel said wrapping the band around her arm and putting a little gadget on her finger.

"I refuse to die." She snuck a glance at Daryl but quickly looked away as her heartbeat sped up.

"Will you eat something? You'll get well faster."

"I could try . . ."

"Did Shane do this?" He stared down at the bite mark on her neck and the bruising around her shoulder wound. She nodded numbly a blush hitting her cheeks and Daryl's as well; he gave a small smirk and starred at the ground.

"Listen doc is there any way I can get back on my feet right now without hurting myself."

"If you eat something and take it easy I think it'd be ok. I'll get Lori to bring you something up." He removed the band and small finger holder and placed it into a bag. "You look fine now but you still need to eat. Were you anorexic?"

"I guess I just don't feel the need or desire till I've about starved myself."

"How long have you been like that?"

"I'd say about . . . ten, eleven years." He gave a shocked look before standing and leaving. He stopped long enough to say Lori would be up in a few moments. Daryl didn't move and he looked at her. "Am I gonna have to stay to make sure you eat something?" he asked lowly.

"No." She practically hissed it without meaning to.

"You started doing that when you . . . started that whole hit man shit."

"Rick told you?" She gave a disgusted smirk. "Yea well when your in the middle of fucking no where most of your life . . . ain't got time to stop because someone's looking down at you through the barrel of a gun you don't take time to eat. Kind of becomes a habit."

"Well right now ain't no body got a gun pointed at you."

"Worse . . . got a redneck with a crossbow." She gave a short laugh sitting up snatching her pack up and throwing a clean white tank top on. She threw a larger gray one over his way and he caught it slipping it on. She tossed it back on the floor. "Why do you care Daryl?" He was silent for a long moment.

"Cause . . . I just do." She gave a frustrated laugh.

"Go care somewhere else," she mumbled just low enough so he couldn't hear it. "You shouldn't . . . I'll just disappoint you." She hung her legs off the bed and rested them on her knees. "I think what we did was a mistake." That stung them both but they refused to show it. He glared at her for a moment as his heart fell.

"Yea me too!" He yelled throwing the door open and slammed it behind him angrily. "Watch where you're going!" She heard him yell at someone down the hallway. Moments later Lori entered holding a plate of sliced apples with salt sprinkled on them. Angel took the plate and Lori sat beside her in the chair. Angel set up stuffing the food in her mouth swallowing with a lot of effort. "Maggie heard you two last night," Lori said casually. Angel nearly chocked on the food but paused then continued.

"Yea? And what did she hear?"

"Fighting and then some." Angel gave a crooked smile on the side of her face the woman couldn't see. "Why was he so mad then?"

"Because . . . I'm a bitch." She finished the food and put the plate down. She hugged her knees. "Don't want no body near my heart."

"Why?"

"Cause. I get fucked over eventually. Jewel's even going to one day. It never has changed so why would it now?"

"Honey I don't know what your life was like before all this happened but that little girl needs you and I think Daryl does too."

"They don't. I'll just lead them into death's hand. See Lori there's people like you that get the fairy tale ending of having someone who would give their life for you and a son . . . you know a family. Then there's my kind . . . scum. People like me go through life watching everyone we love fall and hope for death but it never comes . . . We just exist . . . to make other people feel good that they have a life and that they're not like us." Angel made herself stand and grabbed her stuff before Lori could say anything. She stopped just short of the door. "I won't watch someone else I care about die . . . I won't."

She then left through the door making her way outside. The sky greeted her with gray and she lowered her head in a cold numbness.

She was going to retrieve her guns and leave when she stumbled across something she wished she didn't. "The barn's full of walkers," Glen announced to everyone. Angel stopped short and turned to the scene with curiosity. Everyone got up and walked to the barn, her curiosity got the better of her and she followed and watched from a distance. Shane was the first to go closer to the barn and peeked through the crack in the barricaded doors.

Shane turned and marched to Rick. "You can't tell me you're ok with this!" He said angrily. "No, I'm not," Rick replied glaring at Shane. "But we're guests here. This isn't our land."

"This is our lives!" Shane shouted nearly a snarl.

"Lower your voice." Glenn hissed demandingly. Shane turned towards Glen with a glare.

"We can't just sweep this under the rug." Andrea said.

"It ain't right, not remotely." Shane said. "OK, we either got to go in there, we've got to make things right, or we've just got to go. Now we have been talking about Fort Benning for a while." He turned back to Rick. "We can't go." Rick stated softening his voice.

"Why, Rick? Why?"

"Because my daughter is still out there," Carol said "Ok I think it's time that we all start to just consider the other possibility." Shane said coldly wiping the sweat from his brow.

"We are close to finding her," Daryl said angrily. "I just found her damn doll a couple days ago."

"You found her doll Daryl," Shane said. "That's what you did, you found a doll."

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about!" Daryl argued. Rick stepped in front of Shane and Andrea grabbed Daryl to try to calm him down. 'Fucking drama,' Angel thought bitterly watching the scene unfold from the cover of a tree.

"I'm just saying what needs to be said." Shane said. "You get a good lead, it's in the first 48 hours."

"Shane stop." Rick demanded.

"Let me tell you something else," Shane continued. "If she was alive out there and saw you coming all methed out with your buck knife, and geek ears around your neck, she would run in the other direction!"

Andrea released her hold on Daryl and he went forward trying to get at Shane and probably try to kill him. Everyone started shouting and Rick was trying to keep Daryl and Shane away from each other, the others had to step in to help. Angel was kind of hoping that Daryl would get a few punches at Shane. "Let me talk to Hershel," Rick stated like it would fix everything. "Let me figure it out."

"What are you gonna figure out?" Shane shouted

"If we're gonna stay, if we're gonna clear this barn, I have to talk him into it. This is his land."

"Hershel sees those things in there as people," Dale cut in. "Sick people, his wife, step-son."

"You knew?" Rick asked turning to the man.

"Yesterday, I talked to Hershel."

"And you waited the night?" Shane asked

"I thought we could survive one more night. We did. I was waiting til this morning to say something, but Glenn wanted to be the one."

"The man is crazy Rick." Shane said. "If Hershel thinks those things are alive or not-."

At the sound of all the yelling the walkers in the barn could hear them and started to try to get out. They wanted to feed on the live flesh. Angel flinched back a little at the sound ready to go back and find Jewel if they got out.

After a while, and a lot of discussion, everyone went back to their normal routine, except Shane. He stayed at the barn. He couldn't let it go.

Angel was numb to the situation, a bit happy about it because now no one saw her as the biggest threat and Shane had forgotten about her.

Angel looked over from sharpening her knife and saw Lori helping Carl and Jewel with school work. She saw the look on Carol's face. She knew Carol wished she could be doing that with Sophia right now. She looked up and saw Daryl heading to where the horses were kept, carrying a saddle. "Just leave him be," she mumbled to herself as her anxiety kicked her hard. She couldn't help it anymore she stood and headed for the barn quickly. "I hate you," she said to her legs. She stood at the large doorway and watched him put the saddle on its stand and it looked like he hurt his side. "You can't," she told him faintly crossing her arms.

"I'm fine. You ain't got no right telling me shit." Angel was about to argue but Carol came running in. "They said you need to take it easy," she said. "Yea, I don't care," he replied. "That's my act asshole," Angel mumbled so neither of them could hear her. She leaned against the wall watching. "Rick's going out later to follow the trail." Carol said.

"Yea, well I ain't gonna sit around and do nothing."

"No, you're gonna go out there and hurt yourself even worse," Angel argued. "We don't even know if we're gonna find her Daryl," Carol said. Angel turned to look at her. Of all the people, Angel couldn't believe Carol was one of the first to lose hope. Daryl stopped and turned around as well. "I don't." Carol finished.

"What?" He asked. Angel knew this was not going to be good. After everything he was going through to find Sophia, hearing that Carol was going to give up was going to piss him off. She felt very guilty right then about how hard she had tried to push him away.

"We can't lose you too." Carol said quietly. Daryl dropped the bridle, started to walk away and then threw the saddle to the ground, which hurt his stitches even more.

Carol rushed to him. "Are you alright?" she asked.

"Just leave me be!" He said angrily and walked away. "Stupid bitch," he mumbled before walking out the barn. Carol face was left defeated and torn. She gave one last look to Angel before leaving.

It took Angel a few minutes to work up the nerve to follow Daryl but she took off after him slowing as she neared his side. "That was a little mean," she stated walking beside him. He glared at her. "And you're just the nicest person in the world," he said sarcastically.

"I know my place . . . She was right you're hurt you don't need to go make it worse."

"That sure means a lot coming from a girl who don't give two shits about herself much less any one else."

"You're gonna need to be around for Jewel." He stopped walking grabbing her arm roughly and yanking her around to look at him.

"You're still leaving? I was fucking wrong about you, I lied to Rick for you. You ain't nothing but a selfish bitch. You don't care about that lil' girl or no body else." She snatched her arm away stepping up to him angrily.

"You don't fucking know me! You don't know what it feels like to lose someone you care about!"

"I don't? Rick cuffed my brother to a roof in Atlanta and left him. We went back and all we found was his hand! Don't you ever fucking say I don't know! Don't you ever!" She paused for a moment starring at him feeling bad about her words.

"At least you have some hope he made it. I had the fucking privilege of seeing every one I knew die. The life fade from their eyes and I got to hear their last words. If you know, then you know why I have to leave. I won't watch another person I know die! I can't!" She turned her eyes turning a pale blue. She walked away angrily. He was right about her being selfish. But he had know idea of the extent of suffering she felt everyday. The endless guilt, the anger, the pain, and the kicks she gave herself everyday because she could never help anybody but yet out of all the times she came so close to death she still lived when everyone else seemed so fragile; it ate her alive.

She didn't want anyone's pity. Everything she said about herself was to make other people feel better about themselves or learn a lesson, but maybe her words gave the wrong intentions. As she walked straight to nowhere she asked herself, 'What now? Where am I going? What do I do?' She wished Lunar or even Sunny was there to tell her because she had become a ticking time bomb ready to go off at any time.

She found herself sitting at the dead fire at the camp about an hour or two later. No thoughts, no feelings, no pain, and no guilt . . . just a numbness that made her completely empty. "Angel have you seen Rick?" someone asked in front of her. She looked up to Glen with an emotionless stare that'd haunt the man for some time to come. She nodded no numbly and turned her gaze back to the fire. "He went off with Hershel," Andrea answered walking up. "We were supposed to leave to look for Sophia hours ago."

"Yeah you were," Daryl said angrily. "What the hell happened?" No one said anything. "Damn it! Ain't any body taking this seriously? We got us a damn trail."

"Ah here we are," Shane said from behind them all, carrying a bag of guns. He walked up to Daryl slapping his shoulder. "What the hell is that for?" Angel asked lowly starring at the bag of guns. He ignored her and turned back to Daryl. "You with me man?" he asked holding out a shotgun.

"Yeah." He took it and Shane removed his hand. "You got yours?" he asked turning to Andrea. She nodded. Angel stood quickly and turned, facing him. "What the fuck is going on?" she asked louder this time.

"Time to grow up. I know you can shoot. Here!" He shoved a fully loaded shotgun in her hands. "Where's Dale?" Andrea asked. "He's on his way," he answered shoving a gun in T-Dog's hand. "I thought we couldn't carry," Glen said.

"Yeah, well we can and we have to." Shane said. "Look, it was one thing sitting around and picking daisies, when we thought this place was supposed to be safe. But now we know it ain't. How 'bout you man?" He asked turning to Glenn and holding a gun out to him. "You gonna protect yours?" Glen glanced at Maggie a few feet away that looked utterly pissed before he took the gun. "Now look, Hershel, he's just got to understand. He's gonna have to." Then he turned to Carl and Jewel. "Now, we need to find Sophia, am I right?" He asked as he knelt down in front of them. "Now, I want both of you to take this." He held out a pistol for each of them. "You take it, and you keep everyone safe. You do whatever it takes. You two know how, you take the gun and do it." Angel stepped in just as Lori did. "Rick said no guns, this is not your call. This is not your decision to make," Lori said. "I fucking think not," Angel said taking the gun from Jewel. The girl said nothing to protest, she was scared.

"Oh shit," they heard T-Dog say. They followed his gaze.

"Fuck," Angel said as they saw Rick coming out of the trees with two walkers heading towards the barn. They all started running towards the herders.

"What the hell are you doing?" Shane shouted and the group got closer. "Shane just back off." Rick said. Angel could not believe what Rick was doing. This was all just a bad up dream or her mind playing tricks on her. "Why do your people have guns?" Hershel asked.

"You're herding walkers, and you're worried why our people have guns?" Angel hissed angrily.

"Are you kidding me?" Shane shouted. "You see? You see what they're holding on to?"

"I see who I'm holding on to!" Hershel shouted.

"No man, you don't."

"Just let us deal with this and then we can talk." Rick said. "What do you want to talk about Rick?" Angel demanded. "This is wrong. They ain't people no more. They're suffering."

"These things ain't sick, Angel's right." Shane said agreeing with Angel for once. "They're dead, ain't gonna feel nothing for them, 'cause all they do, they kill. These things right here. They're the things that killed Andrea's sister!" Angel never thought she would be siding with Shane against Rick, but in this instance, Shane was right. "They killed Otis," Shane continued. "They're gonna kill all of us."

"Shane shut up!" Rick yelled. Him and Hershel were still herding the walkers towards the barn and the group was following around them.

"Hey Hershel, man, let me ask you something." Shane still continued as he pulled out a gun. "Could a living breathing person, could they walk away from this?" He held up the gun and then shot the female walker three times in the stomach. "That's three rounds to the chest, could someone who's alive, could they just take that? Why is it still coming?" He shot it again. "That's its heart, its lungs. Why is it still coming?" He shot it again.

"Shane that's enough!" Rick shouted.

"Yeah, you're right man." Shane said walking up to the walker. "That is enough." He finished by shooting it point blank in the head. Everyone just stared as it fell to the ground. Angel did not agree with keeping walkers in a barn, but she also did not agree with the way Shane was dealing with it. He was making it worse. "Enough, risking our lives for a little girl who's gone! Enough, living next to a barn full of things that are trying to eat us! Enough! Rick it ain't like it was before. Now, if y'all want to live, if you want to survive, you got to fight for it! I'm talking about fighting, right here, right now!" He ran the rest of the way to the barn doors.

Rick was trying to get Hershel to take the snare pole of the walker that was still up and at the same time trying to get Shane to stop. Neither was working. Hershel was sitting on the ground not moving or talking, he was just watching. And Shane had picked up a pickaxe and was opening the doors. Everyone had their guns ready.

The walkers started to come out of the barn and charge at the group. Shane started to shoot them as they came out and one by one the people with guns went up to help.

Shane turned once to look at Rick and shoot the walker that he was holding.

At the end of it there must have been at least twenty-five walkers on the ground. It was all over. Angel lowered the gun starring at the bodies then everyone's faces. She starred at Hershel and saw a hidden hate right behind shock. This was a tragedy to him. This was tragedy period. Even though it was wrong to put the dead in the barn it was also wrong to kill them all in front of someone who still had hope that it could be fixed.

Just when they thought it was all over they heard one more growling from the inside of the barn. Angel turned her gaze back and watched as if transfixed.

A walker that looked like Sophia came walking out of the barn. She looked closer and realized that it was Sophia from a picture she had seen that Carol had. Or that it used to be. She had gotten bitten and had turned into a walker. Angel shook her head in defeat wiping her hand in over her face. _'Welcome to the real world,' _the voice in her head muttered. She threw the shotgun down and sighed. Maybe there was no need to have hope anymore.

Carol started sobbing loudly and tried running to Sophia to embrace her but Daryl grabbed her and they fell to the ground. She still tried fighting out of his grip. Angel starred numbly at the whole situation feeling nothing, not even defeat. This is what the world was now. Everyone would understand why she was the way she was. She waited for someone, anyone to shoot the girl and put it out of its misery. No one did, they just starred; so Angel walked up to it kicking it down by the leg. She took out the pistol Shane had given Jewel and shot it point blank in the forehead. She turned and glared at Shane.

"This is life! This is what my whole fucking life has been . . . death and deprived of any hope. No one should have to live like that. You just took something away from these people Shane. You took away that small glint that'll keep you kicking till the end . . . hope it's all you have in the end." Everyone starred at her taking in every word. "How could you ever take away something so precious from anyone is beyond me. It was wrong to keep these things locked up but no one has the right to take away hope. Without any hope start digging your own graves cuz you're all gonna die maybe not physically but who the hell wants to be like me." She threw the pistol down and walked away starring at everyone daring them to say something. She was done with this. Shooting that little girl broke her heart.


	7. Wake Up Call

**Chapter Seven: Wake up Call**

_The higher you are  
The farther you fall  
The longer the walk  
The farther you crawl  
My body, my temple  
This temple, it tilts  
This is the house that Jack built_

Open door, yes, I walk inside  
Swallow me so the pain subsides  
And I shake as I take the sin  
Let the show begin

There's a silence after a tragedy that happened like the day before. That silence carried it all though, nothing had to be said. Everyone was devastated, everyone besides Angel she felt nothing. She was nothing but a shell of her former self that was so full of emotions she could make any one feel better about them self. Now she was numb and no one wanted to bother with a broken girl not even Jewel. She hadn't slept in the tent last night with Angel. Who could possible want to? Her words hit everyone hard and every one either felt depressed or angry from the impact of them. They held a memorial service for all the deaths but she didn't attend.

She didn't care anymore. Nothing mattered. The road called to her with a loud plea. She wanted to answer it but knew she wouldn't last in her condition for long. That voice in her head refused to let her die like it always had. This world was going to need people like her she just didn't know it yet.

Jewel stepped into the tent around ten in the morning. Angel turned and stared at her and the girl looked scared. She was rattled from yesterday, she didn't fully understand it but she knew that Sophia was dead. The girl Carl had always told her about. "Angel," she said softly sitting down. Angel turned and looked at her once again. "Daryl said you were leaving . . ." her eyes teared over any other time it would've made Angel feel bad but still she felt nothing.

"Yea when I get better. Daryl's going to take care of you."

"You promised you would be here though." Angel stared at her for a long moment no emotion passing over her face or heart.

"I lied. I'm sorry." She then pushed herself out the tent leaving the girl crying. She wasn't sorry; she knew pushing Jewel away would be good for them both. She pushed the headphones in her ears listening to a song here and there wandering around aimlessly. Not even music made her feel anything. She knew she was broken. She had to do something or she was going to either leave or put a bullet in her head. She found Lori and Carol doing laundry. It was a start she snatched the headphones out of her ears turning her phone off as she approached them with a frown. "You two need any help?" she asked lowly. Lori nodded setting out a basket of clothes. Angel sat and started folding clothes quietly. None of the woman said anything to each other. Maggie came running up then. "Where's dad Beth wont open the door and she's got a gun?" Lori went after Maggie as they ran to the house. "Carol see if you can find Rick," Angel asked before standing and heading for the house. Beth wouldn't open the door for Maggie or Lori. Angel pushed them gently out the way and knocked.

"Hey Beth open the door," she said coldly. There was no answer. Angel sighed loudly before kicking the door in. Beth sat on the end of the bed with a gun to her chin. Maggie tried running to her but Angel held her back without much effort. Maggie glared at her. Angel went and sat down beside the girl and put her lips close to her ear. "You gonna pull that trigger? You really think that's going to help . . . think of what it would do to your family. Your dad, your sister . . . If there is a god your going to have to face him and tell him you killed yourself because you were too much of a coward to keep going . . . If you can do it pull the fucking trigger . . . One little squeeze that's all it'll take . . ." Maggie hollered at Angel. Beth looked at Angel for a moment. "Pull it," Angel hissed. Beth eyes teared over and she let the gun drop. Angel swiped the gun up and tossed it to Maggie after taking the clip out and setting it on a table. Beth began crying then. She stopped at the door and looked back before leaving the house. "Angel!" Lori yelled running behind her. "How did you know she wouldn't do it?" Angel stopped and turned.

"It's simple she didn't have the guts . . . Takes someone strong to pull the trigger. Fear is what stopped her. I know because I've tried. . ." she walked away then to try and find Rick. "Hey man where'd Rick go?" she yelled where T-Dog stood.

"Him and Glen took off to find Hershel."

"Well where did Hershel go?"

"That's why they went looking . . . Angel you were right about yesterday about hope and all that. Everyone's lost it they jus haven't acknowledged it yet."

"Have you?"

"No because I still have hope left. Even though my mama's dead . . ." He gave a weak laugh. "It doesn't even matter . . . you though you have no right to. After what happened you still made it back, you found Jewel and us . . . You can't tell me you've lost it."

"Wasn't hope that kept me going . . . never was. It's guilt . . . hate . . . I wanted to be here for Jewel, can't let someone else die that I'm responsible for."

"Yea . . . well why the hell are you talking about taking off and leaving that girl. Leaving us period. You're the strongest here. If anything happens to Rick we're going to need someone like you." She laughed at him then.

"You don't want me here. If anything I'll get you all killed."

"You'll realize it one day . . . I hope it won't be to late," he said before walking away. She started laughing hysterically but it wasn't real. It was cold and empty it was more of a show just to mock his words. She looked over to the tents noticing something off. Daryl's tent was gone along with his motorcycle. She walked over to the empty spot and looked around. Down the hill his tent stood with a small fire going. She shrugged walking down the hill taking a seat by the small fire. She lit a cigarette and puffed on it. The tent flap was peeled back and he glared at her.

"What the hell are you doing?" he barked fiddling with his arrows not letting his glare wander from her.

"Getting cozy."

"Not by my fire you don't." He pushed himself out of the tent and stomped over to her. He stood over her glaring daggers into her.

"Oh your name's on it?" She stood then and threw her hand out in the direction of the fire facing him. "Will you point out please. Cuz' I just don't see it." If he had been a dog he would've growled at her.

"Bitch," he mumbled lowly looking for something smart to say. She shoved him and he stepped back a little. She jabbed her finger at his face but wouldn't touch him.

"Dixon you got one more time to call me a bitch and Ima beat you within an inch of your life!" She felt something then it was anger.

"Did you just come over to threaten me?" He pushed her back not nearly as hard as she had.

"No!"

"Well why?" They were yelling at that point but Angel's voice softened at her next words.

"I ain't got no where else to go . . ." She looked up to him with sad eyes. He just got angrier.

"Well why don't you just leave? I don't want you here!" She glared at him then it was the only thing she could do because his words stung a lot but she knew she deserved them.

"Well Dixon . . . Fuck you and your fire!" She stomped away grabbing her chest. She was angry and hurt but she wouldn't let him see it. She went to Dale's RV grabbing up a bag without asking and she went to the bike that someone had stood up but did nothing more with it. She started working on it making sure it was in good condition. After two hours and checking everything over she was happy enough to put the tools back she then swiped up all her weapons and took some ammo.

She went back out sitting on the bike smoking a cigarette. She saw Lori run from the house to a car taking off but she paid no mind to it, it was none of her business. 'This is it,' Angel thought looking out over the farm. 'I'm really going to leave.' She plucked a cigarette away and kicked her leg over before knocking the kickstand away with the heel of her boot. She turned the key and the bike roared to life. That's when Andrea ran out from god only knows and latched onto Angel's arm. "Where are you going?" she said loudly over the bike's engine.

"I'm leaving!"

"Angel please . . . Don't do this! We need you here."

"No you don't!" She tried shrugging Andrea's hand away so she could take off but her grasp became tighter around her arm. "All of you will be a hell of a lot better without me." She glared at the woman.

"Please don't. You're the only one who can keep us sane. I mean look what happened! You were the only one who could put that girl out of her misery . . . you're the only one who can keep us hoping because everyone's lost it! I need you, Daryl needs you, and Jewel really needs you." Angel sat there starring at the woman for a long moment. For a split second she thought she was looking at Jade. The compassion and pleading in her words melted Angel's anger away. She thought about all the times back in the day when she wanted to do something rebellious or stupid, but Jade could always stop her with a few words when no one else could.

"Alright . . . Alright! You win," Angel, said defeated turning the bike off. Andrea loosened her grip and Angel let her arms rest at her side kicking the stand back out. She gave a defeated sigh. "You people are gonna send me over the edge. Something no one needs to see . . . you won't be happy that I'm around then."

"I'll never regret asking you to stay." She said it with such confidence. "You need to make up with Daryl." Angel glared at her.

"What you playing match maker now too? Fucking redneck hates me and you know what . . . I do not care! Inbred bastard can go fuck himself!" She jumped off the bike and threw her hands in the air with a crooked grin. "I just do not fucking care anymore Andrea! History has a bad fucking habit of repeating itself . . ." She was still extremely angry but she was feeling something again.

"He needs someone right now . . . just like you. Yesterday really hurt him. He wanted to find Sophia alive so bad." Angel made a mocking gesture of deep thinking by placing her fist to her chin and peering down at the ground.

"Fuck it . . . I'm getting drunk." She walked away then started raiding Rick and Lori's tent for that bottle of wine she was promised. She found it and neatly placed everything back to its place quickly. She then popped her head out the tent and zipped the flap back up. She cracked the bottle open and took a big swig squinting her nose at the rottenness of the beverage but it was aged and the potency was amazing; she didn't complain. It was starting to get dark the cool air settled the sweat on her forehead.

She turned her head and looked down the hill seeing Daryl sharpen his arrows by the fire. She sighed. "Fuck it!" she told herself angrily. "I know your fucking not," she argued with herself. She sighed heavily. "Yes I am." She sucked up her pride and ventured down the slope grinning when she stumbled a bit. Daryl looked up as she approached. "What the hell you want? I thought I told you to leave."

"Well no body will let me. I was going to . . . look suck it up man. I got something." She held the bottle up and swung it back and forth. "Me and you are both Irish tonight." She grinned and he couldn't help but give a crease of a smile. She took a seat beside him and handed him the bottle. "Got something better too." She took the small pack off her back and began plundering through it taking out the clothes. She took out the book and knitted her eyebrows before throwing it down a little harder then she meant to. The book flew open and she saw that the pages had been hollowed out to place a small leather book with a note taped to it. Daryl noticed it too. She starred at it for a moment.

"What's that?" he asked pointing to it. She shot him a quick glance before looking back. She pulled it back and handled it as if it were glass. She pulled the leather bound book out and took the note off leaning so the light from the fire made it possible to read the neat cursive.

_Angel,_

_That night we drunk together out by the fire and we talked about Lunar. You made me remember this. I've kept it for years now I've never read it. It was his journal. After what happened Axel asked me to clean out his room and I found this._

_I knew you and him were close and I wanted you to have it at some point. I just never knew when or if you could handle it._

_I knew you and him were extremely close even since day one when he came in acting like Billy Bad ass. I miss him too but I could never handle reading this so I gave it to you. Had to have a little fun with it you know. Don't read it if you can't handle it please. _

_Much Love,_

_Sunny_

A small tear rolled down her cheek and she placed the note aside holding the journal starring at it lovingly. She opened it to the first page and in scratchy print it read 'Belongs to Jackson Kurt Lunar. She sniffed and closed it quickly not daring to try and read it. She put it down gently placing the note into the middle of the old torn pages. She looked back to Daryl. "It's umm . . . something I don't need to look at." She looked back at the book and saw a small picture hung out the back. She swiped it up and starred at it intensely. It was a picture of her and Lunar at a bar in Bangkok. They both held a bottle of liquor smiling from ear to ear pushing each other sides. She started crying silently resting her head on her knees holding the picture out.

"You ok?" Daryl asked numbly looking at her.

"No . . . no I'm not." She admitted looking up wiping her eyes and sniffing. "Daryl, Lunar was everything to me. Even when he came in I loved the fucker. He thought he was the badest thing to ever walk the earth and I broke him out of it, trained him to kill . . . to survive. So we could chase after some dream of making the world a better place . . . after a while he told me what his dream was; it was to make up for everything wrong he did before Axel pulled him out of jail . . . he wanted to help people, wanted to make me and the world better, show me I wasn't a piece of shit. He was the brother I never had." She smiled crookedly then looked back at the picture. "He asked me one time what happened to a dream when the dreamer dies . . . I told him I didn't know and he laughed at me. He said the dream would live on for another fool to try and make real . . . He was an idiot but everything he said made sense. I hung onto every word." She grabbed the leather book and held it up for him to see. "This is all his stupid dreams and riddles I never had answers to. It's going be my insanity if I ever crack it open . . ." She placed the picture back into the back and put it in her pack and dug until she found a small pair of speakers.

"Anyway," she started. "Back to what I was doing." She placed the speakers on the ground and pulled her phone out she hit a button and the screen flickered to life showing she had a half a battery left. The phone was made to last a while when she was on longer jobs. She rigged the wires from the speaker and plugged them into the phone. "Any requests?" she asked looking up halfway with a smile.

"Whatever you want. I like just about anything when I'm drinking." He took a big swallow of the bottles content before coughing a little. "This shit is nasty."

"All I got . . . if you don't want it give it back." She reached out to snatch it but he pulled it out of her reach.

"Never said I didn't want it." They both laughed as the small speakers started playing. There was a long moment of silence; he took one more swallow before handing her the bottle back. She snatched it away letting her smile fade. She took a drink and set it on the ground.

"So when are we gonna talk bout the other night?" He glared at her.

"Never . . . It never happen."

"It was nice but . . . I don't think it'll ever happen again. I hate you too much." She smiled at him then took the bottle up again taking a big swallow.

"You don't ever have anything nice to say do you?"

"Nope," she said crisply. He smirked and she looked away. "Sorry I'm such an asshole."

"Shut the hell up you don't mean it."

"You're right I don't."

They sat there for almost an hour sending insults back and forth to each other, even a joke hear and there. It was nice for the circumstances and everything that was going on around them. "I got to go, I owe Jewel an apology," she said finally turning the phone off and placing everything back into her small backpack. She slung it over her shoulder and pushed herself up with a bit of effort. "What I don't get one?" he questioned looking up to her.

"Gave you the best I could muster." She gave half a smile before taking her leave.

"What about your nasty ass wine?"

"Keep that rot gut shit. I don't want it!" She stumbled a little turning to say it but she kept her ground and kept her pace.

She carried on with her head held high, she wasn't numb anymore she had hope again. Wasn't much but just enough to keep pushing. Now her objective was apparent, find Jewel and make things right. She felt guilty now for what she had said to the girl. She stumbled but kept her pace to her tent. She peeled the flap back and to her amazement the girl lay in the thin blankets sleeping silently. Her chest rose and fell slowly. She looked so peaceful. Angel wanted to kick herself then, for being such an asshole to her second chance. She handled it so carelessly.

She crawled into the tent and sat grabbing her knees and pulling them to her chest. She relaxed her head against her knees closing her eyes shut tight. She finally fell beside Jewel after tearing her gear off. It didn't take long to fall into that place she never liked to be.

Something different happened though. She opened her eyes to a bright sun bearing down on her with a vengeance. When her eyes finally adjusted to it she realized she was in the middle of a paved road. She looked around further. She was in a town but something was off, there were no people, no sounds, not even a movement. She pushed herself up and looked around. She spotted a bar and a smile painted across her face. She walked over to it with a bit of pep in her step. She opened the door and a dark lit typical bar lay in front of her. One bright light hung over the middle of a marble bar top.

She walked slowly over to it taking a seat by a shady figure. She looked for a bartender but no one was around besides the hooded figure she sat by.

"You giving everybody a run for there money aren't ya girl?" the figure asked lowly. She pushed herself back tripping over the barstool and landing on her back.

"Lunar?" she questioned loudly dumb-founded. The figure removed his hood and a soft sobering face was revealed, two light blue eyes met her green ones. A wide smile spread across the man's face.

"Yea Angel. You got it right!" He stood throwing his arms out. "Someone tie a ribbon around her!" He laughed. His black hair caught the light just right making a make shift halo above his head. He sat back down on the stool with a hard flop the smile never leaving his face. "Come here I ain't seen you in fucking forever. Let me buy you a drink." Angel pushed herself up with little effort and retrieved her stool off the floor and sat by him. "Bartender four shots of Absinthe drowned with Sambuca!"

A few moments later a dark figure emerged with four shot glasses and two bottles. She studied the figure closely.

"Sunny?" she questioned as the glasses and bottles were set down.

"Aye! What feckin' of 'at?" the figure said stepping into the light with a toothy grin. "An' just what the feck happened to your voice! I thought we donned ourselves Irish ya' twat!" Words couldn't be found until a long moment later as the two smiled at her confused face.

"And just what the fuck is going on? What's the fourth glass for?" she asked relaxing a bit. "We wanted to get you by surprise once more," a voice said beside her. She jerked her head to find Mike sitting straight up with his hazel eyes cheerful and his orange hair glowing. She laughed.

"You fuckers are going to be the death of me. You almost made me piss my pants." They all laughed. Sunny poured the shots and passed them out. "To our leader! Angel," the three said in union. "I can't toast myself," Angel retorted.

"Why the fuck not? You deserve it you're still kicking, you made it back after that fuck face shot you," Lunar said downing his shot.

"An' ya' found Jewel!" Sunny added downing his.

"Hell Angel you do more in one day then I've done in my life," Mike said lowly taking his shot and choking on it a bit. "Fuck it," she growled. "Anything to take a drink with my team." She downed the shot as they laughed. "So how have all of you been?"

"Fucking awesome! We can drink, smoke, and drive fast without anybody telling us other wise. And we get to watch you! It can't get any fucking better!" Lunar said happily throwing his arm around her shoulder.

"Oh you get to drive? Shit I'm not going back on the roads," Angel joked placing her shot glass down and Sunny filled it back up. Sunny and Mike laughed lowly trying to hide it from Lunar. "And what the fuck does that mean?" he asked eyeing her.

He busted out laughing. "In all seriousness," he continued. "You're where people need you the most. You can ride this fucking horse out! Because you know why?"

"Why?"

He stood then making it dramatic. "You're fucking Angel Hellfire! You trained all of us and you made men out of us!"

"I got you and Sunny killed. That's all I fucking did!"

"No!" He slapped her on the cheek and she shoved him.

"Well what did I do then?" she said standing, facing him.

"You gave us something to stand for! You gave us purpose! I had nothing before we met! You made us believe in something!" He threw his hands up smiling. "Something worth fighting for!"

"Aye!" Sunny said loudly holding up another full shot glass. Everyone grabbed another shot and turned it up downing it.

"And a nother fucking thing Hellfire," Lunar stated. "You gave our deaths meaning! There's a fucking reason you're still kicking!" He grabbed her shoulders shaking her hard. "This new fucked up world needs something to believe in and you're gonna be the prophet. People are going to lose their morals and who they are! You gotta stand up and tell them what the fuck is going on! You're gonna be the wake up call!"

"Aye!" Sunny bellowed again. "Tha' feckin' twats are gonna go stupid! Not even be able ta' tell a walker from another person! Shoot ta' kill! We worked ta' feckin' hard for tat'! Ya' gotta show 'em ta' value life or they all gonna die! Canny even feckin' keep who they are! What kinda' bullshat 'as tat'!"

"And another fucking thing!" Lunar started again releasing Angel and leaning against the counter. "I've had too much to drink." They all laughed.


	8. A reason worth living

I hope you all enjoy this chapter I enjoyed writing it. Had to get rid of the drama just couldn't do it today. But the next chapter will be and some feel good then the chap after will be complete chaos don't hate me.

I've been plotting a lot lately on how to end it. This will be a very long story can't give an estimate on chaps. Anyway i won't keep you any longer. Enjoy! :)

* * *

Chapter 8: A reason worth living

_This is the world we live in_  
_And these are the hands were given_  
_Use them and lets start trying_  
_To make it a place worth living in._

_This is the time_  
_This is the place_  
_So we look for the future_  
_But there's not much love to go round_  
_Tell me why._

Angel opened her eyes briefly closing them again hoping to drift back into the charming dream where all her fallen brothers were alive and well. Only darkness met her eyes and she gave up trying to slip back into that world. Her heart was pounding from a strange feeling that tugged hard on her very soul. She pushed herself up; the first regiments of day lit the tent in a dark orange color. She turned her attention to Jewel, who still lay in a peaceful slumber not daring to wake her.

Slowly she shook away the sandman's efforts off and began putting her gear back on. She felt confident for the day ahead. There was no denying that it was from that pleasant dream. She could have took it for what it was, just a dream; but she took it as an epiphany if you will, something life changing and pure. Her fallen brothers were right they all had something to keep going for. She just lost her way for a while and now it was time to reclaim it. She never lost her code but she had lost her purpose.

Finally after a few long moments of meditating she opened the tent and stumbled outside. She decided she was hungry as her stomach went to growling. She grabbed it before falling in a straight line to the burning fire where Carol was eating something. "Can I get a bit of that," she asked taking a seat by the woman. From the looks of it she was eating a nutrition bar. Carol said nothing but broke a piece of and handed it to Angel and gave her a bottle of water. "Thank you Carol," she said with a smile. She ate the food and sipped on the water with a comfortable silence between the two.

"You know you were right Angel," Carol said softly it was nearly a whisper.

"About what?" She looked to the woman with a peculiar questioning look spread across her face.

"About hope . . . it's gone." Her head turned to the direction of the ground. Angel sighed loudly digging deep inside trying to find something wise to say.

"Maybe you're right but . . . I don't accept it. I mean I'm still alive you are too . . . You know Carol there's life beyond tragedy I mean if everyone gave up after something bad happened where would we be?" the woman remained silent not even sharing a glance with the woman who spoke so passionately.

"Lori almost died last night." She said it so casually.

"What?" Angel found herself baffled how had she not heard of this.

"She flipped the car going to find Rick a walker almost got her . . . Shane saved her brought her back. Rick and them still aren't back."

"Huh." Angel shrugged it off then the thought passed that they could be dead, that shook her a little. The thought quickly passed and any other thoughts fell away as well. A car rolled up with Rick behind the wheel. Angel stood and marched over with a goal. She stopped short though seeing that there was a new face in the back seat. It appeared to be a young boy in his mid teens.

She waited for Rick to step out. As he opened the door Angel went over hanging on it looking at Glen and Hershel. "Glad to see you all back . . . Rick who the hell is that?" she asked pointing to the blind folded boy in the back seat. Rick rubbed his hand over his face and gave a frustrated sigh.

"He busted up his leg in the shootout-" Angel cut him off quickly.

"Shoot out?" She almost yelled. Confusion settled on her face. "What happened?"

"It's a long story." He pushed her out of the way and she walked away not wanted to be involved as Shane marched up to Rick demanding to know why the hell that kid was with them. Shane's arrogance and anger seemed to be growing worse everyday. This was going to be bad she didn't want to be involved.

Angel stopped though as Shane's words flew right past her. She needed to be a part of this. She needed to make her mark if this group was ever going to truly accept her. Maybe this was the only chance she would get. She couldn't write it off as a 'Fuck it I'll do it tomorrow' thing. She turned on her heel seeing now that Glen and Rick were carrying the boy inside, with Shane and Hershel following closely behind. Shane yelling at Rick and Hershel sending glares over to him.

Rick and Glen put the boy in the spare bedroom and Angel observed his leg. It had a gaping hole going straight through. A shiver trailed her spine as she unwillingly imagined what it must've felt like. She quinced her nose at the thought before high tailing it out of the room and leaning against the wall waiting for Rick to come out. Shane had left already in an angry puff.

"Can you fix the boy doc?" Angel asked as Hershel walked passed her avoiding her gaze. He stopped for a moment then continued. "I can try," he said lowly walking through the open door as Glen rushed passed. Rick finally walked out the room shutting the door tightly behind him. Angel looked up with a violet set of orbs into his blue. "So Rick can I ask what happened out there?"

Rick sighed but he grabbed a chair that had conveniently been placed for someone to sit. Great she was in a damn hospital now.

"Well," he began in an unreadable tone. "We found Hershel at a bar and we were talking, these men walked in and one thing led to another and I didn't like where it was going-"

"Awe! The shady type trying to buy you a drink." She joked with a crooked smile trying to lift the mood to a more pleasant state. Rick gave a smirk but shook it off looking back up to her.

"No . . . they wanted to come back here and they were . . . I shot them." He rubbed his hand across his face clearly shaken by the memory.

"Were they bad men?"

Rick hesitated for a long moment. "Yea. Suspicion was confirmed after the group they were with tried to kill us. Shot up the whole place. It was a war zone and during it all . . . I don't know how we lived. The boy was shooting to but he hurt his leg and walkers were closing in on us. I just . . . it happened." Angel starred at Rick for a long time before looking at the closed door and pointing at it.

"That little kid in there?" she asked raising her eyebrows in shock. Rick nodded confirming it. She let her arm rest at her side and shook her head. "They were right," she mumbled. "This world is going to go to shit, child killing mother if it means they'll get one more day to live in the end." She sighed heavily looking up halfway. "Rick don't ever lose your way. You're a good man! These people are gonna need you if there's any hope of this world correcting itself. I don't know what to believe anymore."

"I think the only thing left is just to do whatever it takes to live."

"Yes!" Angel yelled pushing off the wall. "But never lose who you are Rick! What just cuz the world has gone to shit people are gonna loose their humanity? You gotta stand up keep the people you love safe and do whatever takes but never! I mean never forget who you are and give up hope that there can be good in this new fucked up world!"

Rick just starred at her not saying anything or giving any expression from the impact of those powerful words. "You know," Angel began; looking down at the floor with a crooked grin that looked almost goofy. "An old friend of mine would've said the hell with this drama and go find something fun to do. . . think I'm about to. . . hey lets go find out who teaches better military or police force."

"I could kick your ass any day if that's what you're tryna say." He stood crossing his arms matter-of-factly and gave a weak smile. She threw her arms up happily and starred him in the eyes.

"I thought you'd never ask! Lets go! I'll take you one handed."

They walked outside finding an open space under some oak trees. Angel looked around before snatching a rag from her back pocket. She tied it tightly around her forehead to keep her hair at bay. She threw her arms out in a attempt to loosen her joints and she tilted her head a popping sound signaled her neck cracking. She turned facing Rick who was a few feet away. She threw her fists up and began swaying on her feet like a kick boxer. "You ready?" she asked confidently.

"Are you ready?" Rick retorted throwing his fists up in a different fashion with a small grin. She knitted her eyebrows giving a mischievous smile. She paused. "Oh yea I said one-handed," she said putting one hand in her back pocket.

She then charged at Rick. He swung out his arm to grab her but she ducked under it sliding behind him before straightening. "Behind you," she teased and ducked back in front of him. Rick grabbed her arm in a tight grip attempting to pin it against her back and take her down but she ducked back behind him using the same arm he held arm to wrap around his throat. She could've done two things at that moment if she was serious; she could've choked him out or snapped his neck. Instead they just laughed.

The position was awkward looking considering Rick was a foot taller then her. Someone grabbed her from behind in mid laughter she ripped her arm from Rick and grabbed whoever it was by the arm with both hands before twisting it in a painful way causing them to have to flip over in front of her to relieve the pain.

Glen landed in front of her in the dirt wheezing as the air was knocked out of his lungs. He grabbed his gut in attempt to control his breathing because at the moment he couldn't hardly without feeling like fire entered his lungs. "Glen what the hell man?" Angel asked taking a step back.

"You and Rick were fighting," he said after a moment catching his breath.

"No. We were just going a round it wasn't fighting," Rick said taking his hand and pulling him to his feet. Glen smiled weakly trying to stand straight but it took him a few minutes.

"Could've fooled me," he said finally with a normal voice.

"I could teach you a few moves Saint," Angel said patting his shoulder and letting her arm fall back at her side.

"What was I suppose to do when you grabbed my arm and twisted it?" He looked at her pausing at the nickname she used. Angel looked back at Rick. "You know that move right?" she asked with a serious face. For a moment she felt like she was back at the base training Sunny and Lunar. It made her feel useful. Rick nodded a yes. "Alright grab my arm and do it." She held her arm out for him to grab and he did before turning his back to her. She looked back at Glen. "Watch closely . . . Go ahead Rick."

He was actually hesitant to find out what she would do. He went to twist her arm and she swung her leg out behind his legs as she started to flip. In the process Rick lost his footing and landed on his ass and Angel completed the half-side flip landing right over him. They all laughed.

She grabbed Rick's hand firmly pulling him to his feet. She looked at them both and shook her head. "Use their strength to your own advantage and you can make that strength your own," she said with half a smile. "You wanna try it Saint. I wanna see if you actually paid attention." He gave a hesitant nod. Without warning she lunged at him spinning around so her back faced him grabbing and twisting his arm giving him less then a few seconds to react.

He managed to knock her legs out but they both ended up with their backs in the dirt. They all laughed. They pushed themselves up quickly.

"Well ain't this cute," a voice boomed behind them. Angel put on a fake smile before turning to face Shane. "It's the end of the world and yawl having a juvenile field day."

"Bet I could take you one," Angel said taking a step forward. She was better now he couldn't get the best of her twice. She thought of him as a coward to attack her when she was weak but now she was good and well.

"Ain't no girl ever got the better of me," he stated crossing his arms and cocking a brow.

"Well then," she started; pausing to remove her weapons and pack to get rid of the extra weight. She placed them neatly on the ground and stood back up to face him. "Lets change history shall we?" She held her arms with a welcoming smile.

"Ain't got time."

"Cuz' you're chicken!" She put her arms at her side mimicking a chicken, making the noises and all. Ok maybe she was acting like a four year old but she was having fun with it.

"Alright Angel you wanna go a round. Come on." He pulled his shirt off and threw his pistol on the ground with a cocky smile. She had to admit not a bad chest at all, it was well sculpted but then she looked up and saw his face and felt sick for thinking anything of the sort.

She wanted to make fun of him so she removed her tank top revealing her bra that held her breasts firmly in place. Her tanned arms contrasted the pale skin the tank top hid and it looked odd. Glen blushed behind her noticing the full length wing tattoos on her back and the scars just as well. Shane noticed all the scars as well and had to pause for a minute his face went a bit pale but it didn't stop him from throwing his fists up. "You ready big man?" she laughed taking her stance. He gave a snort of laughter before charging at her to grab her and throw her on the ground.

She ducked out the way with quick speed before kicking the back of his knee causing him to stumble a bit. He turned nearly growling as he regained his footing. He charged her again and she let him grab her arm to see what he would do. He threw her back on the ground and tried to pin her arms above her head. She took her legs and wrapped them around his throat throwing him backwards on the ground.

She followed straddling his stomach and gave a mocking grin. "What the hell did the police force teach you? You can't fight for shit," she mocked in a low tone. He got angry then and punched her hard in the jaw she stumbled back standing straight grabbing her jaw with one hand.

Glen started to run to break them up but Rick caught him by the shoulder. "Watch," he said lowly. "Angel ain't no ordinary girl." He gave a weak smile and let go of the man's shoulder. Glen planted himself in the spot fidgeting nervously watching closely.

Angel wiped the blood from her lip knitting her eyebrows. She glared at Shane. Her pleasant violet eyes turned a blood red making her look demonic. Shane stood but she was looking at the bloody finger she wiped her lip with. "Oh no, no, no. We were just playing," she said numbly not giving any emotion away but she was utterly pissed.

In a way to she actually hoped for this to happen she could get in a lick now and no one could point a finger at her for doing it. "Hey you inbreed bastard that's all you got?" she asked loudly starring at him. She was trying to get him to run at her now. "Bet your paps fucked you in the ass growing up." That did it.

Shane charged her once again she moved quickly out of doge without much effort. She grabbed his arm he used to attempt to hit her with. She pulled him back making him spin on his heel picking up speed and she pulled him straight into her fist that had gained some momentum itself. Straight in the eye. He stumbled back holding his face dark circles danced in front of his eyes. She damn near knocked him out. Angel charged grabbing his arm pinning it against his back, digging her knee into his back all the way to the ground.

"Whose your daddy?" she asked jokingly pulling his arm higher causing him to winch against the pain. "I'll ask again. Who is your daddy?" she was smiling devilishly at that point taking pleasure in it.

"Fuck you," he growled loudly through gritted teeth. She let go patting his back.

"No need to be a swore loser. Maybe next time champ." She laughed standing up. She looked over where the trees stood tall and proud. Everyone had gathered and began cheering her on. She smiled from ear to ear and walked towards them stopping and placing all her weapons back on. She ignored everyone and walked straight to Carl and Jewel. "If either one of you ever want lessons don't hesitate to ask. I'd be happy to teach you a thing or two." She turned then to the others and put on her speech face.

"People everything has been all seriousness lately . . . I'm tired of it. Are you? That thing I said about hope it's all bull shit! There's always hope as long as you're alive and kicking it's there . . . maybe not much but it's there." She paused for a minute in thought. "We need to take a break from this shit! How bout we all have a good time tonight. I mean come on we need to honor our fallen brethren and loved ones. You can't tell me any of them would want you moping around crying and giving up! They would want you to smile and be happy that you're alive . . . yea I know it's slim these days but when you can, take it and embrace it as if it were the last time you could!" she smiled then and they cheered a bit.

She walked over to Rick placing a firm hand on his shoulder. "Can I make a run into town I want to get some stuff? It's ok if I throw a little party ain't it?"

"I don't care . . . you're going alone?" he asked cocking a brow.

"Unless someone wants to come with me."

"I will!" Andrea said stepping forward. "Me too," T-Dog said from behind her.

"Aye? Alright then lets role ain't got a long time before it gets dark." She picked up her tank top and put it back on catching a glance from Daryl who had been quiet for the most part. She gave half a smile and winked at him before turning and heading to the cars.

* * *

The ride was quiet at the beginning until Andrea started with her questions. Angel laid in the back seat with her feet kicked out the window and her hands behind her head. It was nice to have a comfortable silence for once. Andrea destroyed it though but Angel couldn't blame her for being curious. The key to wisdom was curiosity after all.

"Angel where did you get those scars?" Andrea asked throwing her arm on the top of the seat and looking back. Angel cocked her brow and frowned.

"You want me to lie or be honest?" she asked in return giving the best fake smile she could manage.

"What would the lie be?"

"Did it to myself . . . it doesn't matter they're just there."

"Where did you get them?"

"Curiosity killed the cat Andrea." She gave a deep sigh as Andrea cocked a brow and gave a demanding look. "Truth is being in a war zone except it wasn't military . . . Shootouts, knife fights, you name it I've done it."

"War zone? What were you?"

"Mercenary, hired gun, contract killer . . . whatever the hell you wanna call it. I went into the world killing bad men trying to make it a better place. I really think the only thing I did was get my best friend killed." Andrea turned back around and said nothing more. "Shit like from the movies?" T-Dog asked in disbelief.

"Yep," Angel answered crisply.

"I don't believe you!"

"It's harder to tell the truth then lie . . . I have a bad habit of taking the hard way."

"So that's where you learned to fight like that?"

"Yep got trained by the best of them. Boss pulled me off the streets nursed my mind half way back into reality because I was on the brink of insanity, suicide after my child hood friend passed away with cancer." She gave a sad sigh. "Didn't have anything left to live for, he gave me something to fight for and soon it became a dream one that Lunar died for and begged me to carry out. He believed no matter how shitty everything got, humanity was worth saving. That man was like a priest mind the trashy mouth he had." She laughed at that. "I still kind of believe that. After Sunny passed . . . Lets say this, if it weren't for Jewel I wouldn't be here. All my brothers are dead all the men I fought with going after that dream of a perfect world . . . Ima keep going though for them, Jewel, and even all you. You people are worth fighting for. I really believe this will end at some point and life will be normal again or I'm just a fool with a hopeful mind."

The rest of the ride was quiet. They reached a small town and Angel slipped in a bar grabbing several bottles of alcohol of all kinds and sizes with shot glasses and even flat soda for the kids while Andrea and T-Dog went for other supplies. It was a smooth run, and Angel found that worth celebrating on the ride back so she started on one of the bottles.

She stumbled out of the car and made a makeshift table that was pretty stable. Jewel and Carl came walking up with Lori behind them. "Whatcha doing," Jewel chimed studying the bag Angel let hang off her shoulder.

"Preparing a party," she answered. She pulled out two grape sodas and handed them to the kids with a smile. "Now don't tell your mama," she said looking at Carl and giggling. Lori laughed behind them. "Do you need any help?" she asked walking closer to Angel.

"I think I got it. Would you like any thing from the adult selection?" She motioned at her bag with a hand. She nodded no. "Soda?" Lori nodded and Angel handed her one before smiling and returning to her work. After setting the bag down on the table she decided to go get so extra firewood.

She needed an axe but had no clue where to look. "Damn it," she mumbled looking around in the stable asking the horse where it was with no luck on an answer. She still carried a bottle with her and she offered it a drink for and answer. "Hey buddy," she said petting its nose. "Give ya' a drink for an answer. Where's the axe hidden away?" She laughed.

"You could've just asked," someone said close behind her. She jumped and turned grabbing her chest. "Damn it Daryl! You gotta quit doing that!" she yelled pushing his shoulder walking past him. It irritated her that he could sneak up on her. She stopped and spun on her heel. "Actually where is it?" She gave a goofy grin and he snickered leaning against the wall crossing his arms.

"I'll tell you if I get a bottle for myself . . . I'll do you one better I'll help you with whatever you need done." She acted as if she was in deep thought before taking another drink from the bottle.

"Ok. We have a deal! Now where is the axe?" Daryl pointed to a corner right beside her and she slapped her forehead in frustration.

"Fuck," she mumbled grabbing it and turning to leave. Daryl's eyes were fixed upon her but he wouldn't speak his thoughts. He just followed as she left the stable and wondered down into the woods. She picked a half dead tree and went to swing but he stopped her.

"I got it," he said trying to take it but she yanked back and glared at him.

"No I got this. My idea my work." He glared back at her not letting go of the axe.

"But I wanna do it." She looked like she wanted to bite him. She unwillingly let it go and leaned against a tree away from him. He started chopping and she got deeper into her bottle.

He had the tree half way cut through when Angel's anxiety got the better of her. She snatched the axe out of his hand when he went to swing and he spun on his heel angrily. "What the hell?" he yelled breathing heavily.

"You're doing it all wrong! Move and let me show you how to do it!" She pushed him out the way and he pushed back. She stumbled back not expecting it. She froze and gave him a dirty look before throwing the axe aside and tossing the bottle in the leaves.

She charged and tackled him and they rolled around in the leaves trying to get the better of each other. There were quite a few minutes that went by. Daryl met his match though as Angel rolled on top straddling his waist and pinning his arm with her knees. She crossed her arms smiling evilly. She laughed as he struggled to get free. "I win," she mocked having fun with it.

Daryl used the same move on her that she used on Shane hours elier and he straddled her pinning her arms above her head and he smiled. "No I win," he said between breaths. She laughed whole-heartedly. "You got me?" she asked eyeing him. He nodded confidently. She used her legs as pry bars against his making him let go of her arms and fall away as she twisted his legs in an uncomfortable way. She took the opportunity to stand up and wipe the leaves and dirt of her pants.

He stood and pushed her against the tree they had agreed to cut down. His nose touched hers as the tree cracked and gave way. He pulled her away from it quickly stumbling back himself. The tree hit the ground with a loud thud. They looked at each other. "You were right that was way more fun," he grinned.

"Told you," she laughed taking a step away from him retrieving her bottle. "Now get back to it we're not done yet." He paused and starred at her for a minute.

He gabbed her quickly and planted a small kiss on her lips; she pushed back and gave him a what-the-fuck look. He scratched the back of his head. "You got other stuff to do. Go ahead . . . I got this." He turned and grabbed the axe paying her no more mind. She shook her head and left without another word. She pretended the small kiss never happened.

An hour later everyone was gathered around the fire or the table and Angel was rowdy but was getting everyone to have a good time. It was time for the first toast and Angel poured everyone a shot that was drinking and everyone who wasn't had a soda. Even Shane had participated. Everyone was on good terms this night. She raised her glass looking at each one of their faces.

"True Irish toast for you all!" she laughed. "Here's to a long life and a merry one! A quick death and an easy one! A pretty girl and an honest one! A cold pint and another one." She laughed then cleared her throat. "May you be in heaven a full half hour before the devil knows your dead! May you have warm words on a cold evening, a full moon on a dark night, and a smooth road all the way to your door! May you die in bed at 95, shot by a jealous spouse! May misfortune follow you the rest of your life, and never catch up! May you always have a clean shirt, a clear conscience, and enough coins in your pocket to buy a pint! May the roof above you never fall in! And most of all may the people under it never fall out!" She slung back her shot and everyone laughed after taking there's.

"Would you like to hear an Irish joke?" she asked pouring herself another shot and anyone else who wanted it. They nodded. "Ok let me think." She thought long and hard. "This actually happened . . . I knew the man well enough . . . Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been hit by a train. His arm in a sling, broken nose, his face all cut up and bruised, and he was walking with a limp. 'What happened to you?' asked Sunny. 'Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight,' Paddy said. 'That little shit O'Conner, he couldn't do that to you; he must've has something in his hand,' Sunny said. 'That he did,' Paddy said, 'A shovel is what he had and a terrible lickin' he gave with it.' 'Well,' Sunny said, 'you should've defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand? 'That I did,' Paddy said with a grin, 'Mr.'s O'Conners breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight.'" They all laughed and Angel downed her shot before reality slipped into bliss.


	9. Damn Near a Fourth Strike

**Ok I know this wasn't the major drama I was talking about but I had to put some feels good in here because the next chap is just going to :'(**

**I'm not actually looking forward to writing it. Very emotional bond with my character and it's going to be tears for me. It'll probably be enjoyable to read but not to write. Anyhow I still hope you all enjoy this chap. You know they'll just be talking shit to each other again. :)**

* * *

**Chapter 9: Damn Near A Fourth Strike**

_Three in my heart have left me a while, I stand alone._  
_When they get back, it won't be the I looked to you in guidance.  
We knew that time would kill us, but you're still so close to me._

_Wishing the clock would stand still, the world can wait.  
Wasting away once again, once lived as time passes by, regrets for the rest of my life.  
The ones who I confide were gone in the black of the night._

_To me you were my life.  
To me you were my soul companion.  
Now you are so far away.  
Nothing can take away the times and the memories we had._

Angel awoke with a bad hangover. Day light burned against the tent. Jewel slept by her and she realized she was still gripping a bottle that was nearly empty, maybe there was one swallow left. She took the top off and took the swallow and her headache vanished with a sickening feeling. She threw the bottle out the opening of the tent. She couldn't remember much from the night before bits and pieces of music and people laughing. 'At least I was funny,' she thought sitting up. She brought her pack in front of her and pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

She grabbed it slowly and opened it biting her lip hard. Hoping. One single bent up cigarette met her fingers and she lit it happily. She fell back into the comfort of the blankets holding her head with one hand while puffing on the cig. Jewel tossed and turned out of her sleep and laughed when she looked at Angel. "What's so funny?" Angel asked giving a small smile.

"You and Daryl were funny!" she laughed sitting up wiping the sleep out of her baby blue eyes.

"Oh were we? What did we do?"

"You two danced and told jokes . . . you made everyone laugh."

"Oh did we?" She gave a pleased smile looking at the roof of the tent taking the last pull off her cigarette before plucking it out the tent. She finally sat back up after Jewel left to go play with Carl. It was already about mid day. Someone came up to her tent and she watched them approach.

"Angel," Carol called into the tent. "We're having a meeting inside. Rick wants you there."

"What's it about?"

"What we are going to do with the boy. Hershel fixed his leg the best he could."

"Well where is he now?"

"Keeping him in the barn until we know what to do with him." Angel frowned at that. She had many more questions but she held her tongue. She finally emerged from the tent and Carol was gone. She shrugged and began the walk to the house.

When she entered it was pure chaos people were yelling and arguing with each other. She walked into the room and everything grew quiet and they looked at her with frowns. She turned to Rick. "So what's all this about?" she asked scratching her neck.

"We're trying to come on agreement about the boy," he answered leaning against the wall. It was clear to Angel that any pleasant time they all had last night was long gone and they were back to their old ways.

"What else?" She began, planting her hands against her hips. "Let the kid go back to his people."

"What?" Shane all but yelled stepping closer to her nearly getting in her face. "We gonna let this kid go with a gift basket and flowers so he can come back with his group and kill us all. It'll be a war! We need to get rid of him." Angel glared at him and the room exploded in yells again. Angel blocked them all out pinching the bridge of her nose and thinking hard. She let the yelling go on for a few minutes.

"Hey!" She yelled angrily stepping in the middle of the chaos. They all grew quiet again looking at her. "It's one fucking thing 'getting rid' of a murderer or rapist! But this is just a fucking kid! He was trying to survive with what the people said he needed to do!" She turned looking at each and every one of their faces with a glare. "Maybe I'm off but really? You're all going to jump at the opportunity to kill a kid! I couldn't and I've killed a lot of people in my life! Those people though they were full grown men who did horrible things! No one was influencing them to do what they did it was their own! That kid though . . . if he were with his parents in this shit you think he would've shot at Rick and them!" They just stared at her not saying anything. She couldn't deal with this it was too much. "I've said what needed to be said you make you're choice! If you can deal with the death of a kid over your head I won't say shit but you have to live with it not me!"

She walked out of the room after that and the room erupted into chaos once again.

_'The boy needs to die . . . child or not,' _the voice in her head boomed. The loudness made her stumble but she kept her ground and resumed to walking outside ignoring it the best she could. _'He'll bring those men back and it'll end you all. You can't protect them with kindness.'_

"I've had enough of you!" she yelled swinging her fist at the air. "Shut the fuck up!" She grabbed her head and started whistling to block it out. She couldn't escape it though it still beckoned her to the truth. She didn't want to believe it though. Alcohol was the only thing that could ever drown it, even though it came back then again it never really left.

She walked back to the camp and remembered the bottle she had given Daryl. Without hesitation she found herself inside his tent plundering through his clothes and bags searching for it with a need. _'Go ahead find yourself at the bottom of the bottle. You still have to wake up and face the truth . . . The bottle can't save you it never has.'_

"Would a fucking bullet do it then? End me and you both!" She yelled before taking a big swig from the bottle. The voice seemed farther away.

_'That's right . . . end us both . . . break your promise to you're dead friend. The one who believed there was good in the world. The fool only got himself killed._'

"Shut up! Fuck you!" She screamed collapsing to the floor of the tent taking another big swig. She still heard it but it was only a small whisper. She dug through her pockets angrily. Was it still there? Was it even there at all? A small plastic vile met her finger tips and she paused then slowly pulled a vile of blue liquid out. "You fuckers do what you need I'm taking a vacation," she said lowly opening the top and smelling it. It smelled of battery acid and many things you didn't want to drink.

A small smile creased her lips before she swallowed all of it. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she fell out of reality. Only a silent, dark, and rotted world met her. She couldn't move only watch visions dance in front of her, mocking her but she was at peace. None of the images could touch her only dance like puppets.

Finally she heard a voice that was inviting yet she felt disgusted. "Angel," it called once again. She opened her eyes with a gasp as the dark world tossed her out without a second thought. She pushed herself up quickly feeling like she just fled from death itself. Her heart pounded in her chest and she turned and looked at Daryl with knitted eyebrows. She paused seeing that she was back in that makeshift hospital room in the house. She rubbed her face with one hand. "Damn forgot to leave your tent. Why the hell did I do that?" she said angrily.

He glared at her pushing her back on the bed. "What the hell did you take?" he yelled loudly. "You weren't breathing but you had a heartbeat! Did you try to kill yourself?" She laughed and got up a little woozily but she kept standing.

"No! I just had to take a vacation. Anyway what you decide to do with the boy?" she planted her hands against her hips and caught a glance out the window. The blue sky met her with a smile but she didn't return it only glared back at Daryl waiting patiently for an answer.

"Don't know yet . . . we decided to off him but Rick couldn't do it-"

"Good man!" Angel said with a crooked smile. "Now if only Shane was like that!"

"I think the kid needs to die," he mentioned casually crossing his arms. Her smile faded slowly in shock and she stared at him.

"What?" she asked lowly. He looked at her with confidence.

"I think we need to kill him . . . who knows how many people he could bring back if he saw it fit to take this place." He stepped closer to her. "It'd be to keep you and Jewel safe along with everyone else." He was going to place a hand on her shoulder but she grabbed the front of his shirt and slammed him against the wall before placing her knife to his throat with a snarl.

Her eyes turned a dark red in her new found anger. "Don't you fucking dare! Don't you care for me or Jewel! I was wrong about you!" She let her gaze drop with a tear running down her cheek. He didn't dare try to say or do anything. He just stayed frozen where he was. She finally looked back up at his face with gritted teeth. "Don't come back around me and if you try to touch me again I'll cut your fucking balls off!" She pushed him again before sheaving her knife and leaving before she killed him.

She was so angry and hurt she was ready to kill. She couldn't even stand herself at the moment. She sat on the steps on the porch, digging deep inside trying to find out why she had ever been fond of the man she left in that room. She slapped herself in the head. "You stupid bitch," she said to herself. She looked up from her thoughts and saw Rick walking over to her. She stood and took a few steps to meet him. "Rick you can't kill that kid. You can't," she said giving a sad expression.

"Angel . . . Lori is pregnant," he said placing a friendly had on her shoulder. "I don't know what to do. I have to keep my family safe though. I'm going to get Daryl," she almost spit at the mention of his name but she kept a straight face. ", To find out where he came from and how many people were there. I don't want to kill him." She was a bit shocked from finding out Lori was pregnant but she jumped back from it pretty quick. "What were you on eelier? We thought you were dead."

"It's a type of drug I was supplied to go on a job. If we were captured we were to take it in case of interrogation. That one was pretty weak believe it or not." Rick didn't know how to respond to that so he let go of her shoulder and scratched the back of his head.

"Have you seen Daryl?" She glared at the ground trying to hide it from Rick. She gave a frustrated sigh.

"Inside." She walked past him then "The Psycho might change. But there ain't no stoppin'. The moons on the rise, when the sun starts droppin'. And y'all need to quit the bullshit you poppin'," she sung tapping her hands on her thighs making a poor excuse of a beat.

"Hey Angel can we get some help," Lori called out from the side. She paused and her whistles stopped half way. She shrugged and nodded a yes and walked over to the woman.

"What's up?" she asked and watched Lori pick up a bin of clothes and other things. She then noticed half the tents were packed up.

"Hershel asked for us to move into the house. We're getting the stuff packed up." Angel stopped Lori's words as she took the bin from her seeing it was a bit heavy but it could've been a feather to Angel.

"Where you need this?" Angel asked stacking it on another bin before picking them both up.

"Umm . . . we're taking them in the truck. Thank you." She crossed her arms.

"It's nothing can't let a mama walk around straining herself carrying a baby and what not." She placed the bins in the back of the pick up and looked at Lori's shocked expression.

"Who told you?" she asked knitting her eyebrows. She thought for a few minutes about whether or not to tell on Rick.

"Lori I notice and hear a lot of things. I just don't involve myself in the drama, I watch and listen." She wiggled her fingers and made an ooo sound trying to get a smile out of the woman. They laughed and Angel returned to placing the bins in the back of the truck. It didn't take long to finish and she left Lori to taking the stuff up there.

Angel then began taking her tent down and packed it up and went to the house. She passed Daryl on the steps she looked away angrily and he gave sad expression before glaring at the ground beside him. _'Fuck her!' _he thought bitterly.

A smile plastered her lips when she found out that she was getting her own room with Jewel. She frowned though when she found out it was the makeshift hospital room. She finally felt comfortable to take her pack off and rifle but she kept her pistols and knifes close.

Dinner was nice, because for once she could eat without growing sick or getting looks from the others. And most importantly Daryl wasn't there. She didn't want to plant herself in the conversations the table carried out so she finished her food quickly and retreated to her room. She planted herself on the soft sheets the bed offered and brought her pack from the floor. She took out Lunar's journal and studied it like it was the first time she saw it but truth was she had looked at it a thousand times already but never opened it.

She gave a sigh before reaching in her pocket pulling out the silver flask she loved so much. She smiled feeling that it wasn't empty. She looked back at the journal while drinking every last drop at the flask in one huge swallow. She felt the warmth immediately.

She opened the book and studied the paper for a long time scared to look at the words. Tears started running down her cheeks and she hugged her knees placing the book aside. A knock sounded at the door, a slow hesitant one. She wiped her eyes quickly and stumbled from the bed. She stood in front of the door for a moment her mind clouded. She finally opened it and attempted to slam it back but Daryl slammed it back open and stepped inside. Angel crossed her arms warningly. "You need to leave," she said studying his bloody fists. She knew he had beaten the boy to get answers. She also noticed the bottle he hung onto.

"No!" He yelled kicking the door shut. "You need to listen to me!"

"You're drunk. I don't want to hear anymore of your god damn lies!" she yelled back putting her finger in his face.

"Get your fucking finger out of my face!" He pushed her hand away and took a step closer to her closing the gap between them. "It's not fair of you to judge me like you fucking did! What if that 'kid' had hurt Jewel you would've let it go?"

"No! But that boy ain't did nothing to you or any of us and yet you wanna jump at the opportunity to kill him!"

"So you'd wait around for it! I have a reason." He whimpered and wiped his face refusing to let her see how much she could hurt him. "I want to keep you and Jewel safe. Yea! Maybe the bastard ain't done nothin' yet but he could! Why take the chance on it? And you're wrong at getting mad at me for it!" He took another drink from the bottle and wiped any left on his lips.

"Get the fuck out of here!" Angel yelled shoving him. He stumbled into the wall but gained his footing just as quick as he lost it. "You're drunk you need to leave!"

"I'm not fucking leaving!" He yelled pushing her but she only stepped away from him. She pointed a warning finger at him.

"I told you not to touch me."

"What the fuck you want me to do Angel? If I didn't care so much about you I wouldn't have come back in here! Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"Leave!" She grabbed the shoulders of his shirt and slung him at the door. He pushed himself away from the door stumbling and turned and wrestled her to the floor. She hit her head pretty hard and it left her dazed. He grabbed her wrists.

"You're not fucking listening!" He yelled holding her down. She shook her head as her vision swam in a haze. "Angel I fucking love you!" Something chinked against her heart. How long had it been since someone told her that? How long had it been since someone met it? Those words were very powerful when it came to Angel. She knew how precious those three words were.

Well who wouldn't when they have never even heard their own mother say them. Those words left her more in a haze then hitting her head. "OK. Ok! Daryl you fucking reek get off of me!" she yelled as her vision returned.

"You fucking stink too! Can't imagine what the kitty cat smells like!" Angel couldn't help but laugh at that as he got up and began walking for the door. He was hurt, hurt bad and she knew it. She couldn't be mad at him. She pushed herself off the floor and starred at his back. She couldn't be mad at him for wanted to keep the people he cared for safe. She'd kill if it met everyone would be ok.

"Daryl wait," she said softly catching his shoulder and pulling him to face her. "You want a shower?"

"Yea actually I do. You need one too . . . You know we'd save water if we took one together." He gave a small mischievous smile.

"Give me a drink and I'll think about it." She had no intention of taking a shower with him but after a few drinks it seemed inviting.

They snuck passed everyone and made it to the bathroom giggling. They stripped each other's clothes off without a second thought and stepped under very cold water. Angel clung to him trying to get a bit warmer and he laughed at her. "I hate the fucking cold," she said hiding her body by pressing it against his Daryl pushed her away from him and ran his fingers over the scars on her stomach.

"Angel you should be dead . . . aren't you happy you're still alive?" She looked up with an unreadable expression.

"Depends on the day. If all my friends were alive yea I'd smile everyday . . . I feel like a failure." He grabbed the side of her face and starred into her eyes.

"Why sweet heart?" She nearly laughed at the nickname he chose to use.

"Because . . . I couldn't keep them alive. I killed my parents when I was ten and I think my whole life is the jail time I should've done but times ten worse. They were awful people kept me locked in the basement in a cage. My dad raped me every chance he got . . . my mama never listened. Just been one big fuck up since then. Maybe I shouldn't have done it." Her expression never changed. He paused for a long time before bringing her into a tight hug.

"You had the guts to do something I could never . . . you're not right in the head are you?" She gave a small laugh before looking back up to him. She grabbed the bottle sitting outside the shower and took a big drink.

"No but that's why you like me. I think the only reason you like me is because I'm a challenge . . . I'll tell you now you'll never get me." She smiled evilly putting some distance between them before she gabbed a bar of soap and washed a little. Felt good to get rid of some of the dirt. He watched her closely and studied her body like a book. It was a nice book. One that could never be copied, a one of a kind. It had it's scars and battle wounds but it made it that more valuable.

"So much to like . . ." he said softly. "I'll get you if I want."

"Keep dreaming Dixon." She gave him the bar of soap. "Stop drooling and wash your stank ass." She laughed and he halfway glared at her.

"What's with the wings on your back?" he asked curiously.

"Eng . . . Was Lunar's idea he got a set of demon wings and I got this so. . . how did he put it. . . 'So we could fly away from the past or something and go straight to the future where everything would be good'."

"So you two were fucking?" Angel nearly turned around and slapped the taste out of his mouth but she stopped herself.

"No . . . can't fuck your brother," she replied softly closing her eyes and looking away from him. "I'll see you later . . . I'm clean." Before he could protest she slid out grabbed her clothes and ran for the room. She made it before any one could see her. She slipped on a fresh pair of clothes and returned to the comfort of the sheets. Why was she letting him in again? It was a question she couldn't answer but maybe Lunar could.

She grabbed the journal aggressively and opened it roughly to the first page.

_ Day 1,_

_It's a new beginning. This guy snatched me out of prison, I don't know why yet. I'm thankful though, one more day in there and I would've killed myself. I couldn't even do right by my brother and kill the sorry son-of-a-bitch that killed him. Maybe this is a second chance to do right. I gotta face it eventually the way I was living before was just for my brother. The drugs, the whores, and the killings were all for him._

_I wanted to make him proud all I did was waste half my life. Made my mother hate me, she had so much hope for me to be the good son. I failed her too. But when my dad took off, the only one I had to look up to was my brother. Fucking pathetic excuse but that's what happened._

_There's a bitch in here and her name is Angel . . . she's anything but. There's something there to admire though. Axel told me I had to listen to her. I'm not though, she carries herself like a child always smiling and making a joke of everything. She's a complete nut job. She acts like she's never seen a rainy day that tells me everything though. She's been through hell._

Angel flipped ahead a few pages laughing softly before she could train her eyes back onto the page.

_Day 56,_

_I was right about Angel but she preaches about a better world all the time. She says it's hopeless but she's wrong about that. How she carries herself is just a big act. I know because we've gotten closer and I got to see what's on the inside. She's so angry and hurt. She can be a major bitch when she's trying to get a point across but she doesn't deserve that. No one does. _

_Maybe one day someone can fix her. I hope she finds that person and lets go of that bottle she clings to. She preaches about a better world but she's gotta become a better person first. As soon as she does that she'll have the potential to lead armies and give these mother fuckers walking around thinking no one can touch them something to fear because the law ain't got them hiding. She can be the dreamer that starts a revolution and make this world right . . . she just needs to let go of all that hate._

Angel closed the book and hugged her knees. He had always thought so much of her and she let him die. "All right fucker," she whimpered. "I'll try to let someone else in like I did you but it'll be the end of me. I'll try to let go of this hurt . . . but I'm telling you it'll be the end of me." She tucked the journal away and started playing her music trying to let all the words sink in. Disturbed blasted from the small speakers and her mind cleared as much as possible. "Is she not right? Is she insane? Will she now run for her life in the battle that ends this day?" she sung lowly along sitting on the end of the bed.

She fell back on the bed and let her mind drift in a memory. She was only sixteen and she was having the time of her life.

_Angel grabbed her guitar and turned back to Jade. "Angel this is going to be awesome!" the woman yelled grabbing a bass guitar in the small room. "Come on girls they're waiting for you!" A young man with a security shirt yelled from the door. Angel stepped up and walked out the door and walked on the stage with a drugged confidence that no one could bring her off of._

_The crowd spread out in front of them cheered with loud claps and screams. Angel plugged her guitar in and played heavy riffs going along with the singer's tune. The song ended quickly and the crowd cheered loudly for the new guitar player. "Are you mother fucker's having a good time?" she yelled into a mike. They cheered louder and she dove into the crowd._

She jumped back into reality and a knock sounded at the door. She grunted and turned the music off before slinging the door open and starring up at Daryl. "What now?" she asked lowly with a frown. He crossed his arms.

"You're like a fucking bipolar teenager." Angel glared at him and flopped back down on the bed. He let himself in and shut the door.

"I'm only twenty-eight I'm still allowed to do that," she said casually hugging a pillow. He snickered from behind her. "Seriously though what you come in here for?" She turned over flat on her back and starred at him. He sat on the corner of the bed and brought his hands together.

"Don't know . . . I thought maybe you'd like some company Jewel went to sleep by Carl. Didn't think you wanted to be alone."

"What?" Angel stood and headed for the door. "Little kid thinks he got game. Not with my little girl hell no!" Daryl laughed loudly covering his face with his hands. "It's not funny!" She said turning around.

"Yes it is. Carl is just eleven I don't think he's got that on his mind."

Angel slumped down to the floor leaving her back against the wall. She sighed deeply looking back up. "Ok I'll take your word. But I swear to god if you're wrong I'll castrate him and you both."

"Why me?"

"Cause' you're thinking about it right now aren't you. That's why you came in here." She gave a crooked smile. "I'm not stupid."

"Actually no I wasn't but you were."

"I was only thinking it because I knew you were."

"You were still thinking about it though."

"Go to hell!" She laughed standing up. "You can stay but I swear if you try anything I'll kick your ass from here to Bum fucking Egypt." He put his hands up surrendering.

"You have my word."

Angel sighed rubbing her hand over her hair. "I have insomnia you know."

"I've noticed. You don't ever sleep." She said no more but ran and jumped on the bed crawling up to the pillows and hugging them.

"Ima try now," she said casually turning the small lamp off. Remembering the only reason they had electricity was because of two generators running outside. She heard Daryl fumble with his shoes and soon after he crawled up beside her and wrapped an arm around her waist. She stayed awake for the most part but when his breathing deepened and she was sure he was asleep she closed her eyes and drifted off. It was surprisingly easy when you knew you weren't alone with the dark and god only knows what else in the middle of no where.


	10. Forget to Remember

**Wow chap ten that was fast lol. Maybe this isn't what I promised but I still hope you enjoy. There's going to be a time skip in the next chap. You probably know where it's going considering I do actually follow the story line.**

**Anyhow I won't keep you any longer. Enjoy and leave a review. :)**

* * *

**Chapter ten: Forgot to Remember**

_Shadows in the sun_  
_Filter through us_  
_Still wrestle the demons that arrested me as a child_  
_Confession rejected_  
_We grow up_  
_To give up_  
_People step on the cracks for wounds owed paid back_  
_Through the words of surrender_

_I feel it on the inside  
Twisting and contorting  
Memory has shaped me once again  
Still feel you on the inside  
Biting through and stinging  
Will I ever forget to remember?_

Angel woke calmly and turned over to look at Daryl but he wasn't there. She felt sad nor angry but confused. How did she not hear him leave? She stood then clipping her knifes and pistols on. The bright moonlight burned from the small window a few feet away. Something felt off but it wasn't that feeling you got when something terrible was about to happen.

She stood and walked to the living room silently seeing that all the make shift beds were empty besides Jewel sleeping on a small pallet. For a moment she thought they had left her and that actually scared her. She fled to the door and opened it hearing small cries and yells. What the hell was going on? She ran to the direction of the cries and found everyone standing around a body laying down. She pushed passed T-Dog and Glen and studied the form with curiosity.

She stumbled back grabbing her mouth as her heart jumped in beats. It was Dale a walker had gotten to him and ripped his stomach open. The walker was dead lying away from the man. Angel looked at them all. "Do something," she begged softly. They just starred at Dale ignoring her. She walked over and knelled down on one knee. She rubbed the man's whiskered face trying to sooth away the pain. He was alive but shocked. He was going to die though Angel couldn't deny it.

She pulled out her pistol ready to put him out of his misery but she just rested the barrel against his forehead. When Dale looked into her eyes tears escaped hers. The look he gave was something heart breaking yet unreadable, maybe it was fear, anger; she didn't know. She gave a small whimper before pulling the gun away. "I can't do it," she said stumbling back to her feet. She couldn't kill someone who had been such a good man even if it was helping him. She turned to leave unable to look at the scene any longer.

A gunshot met her ear and she jumped with a gasp. Rick had shot Dale and put him out of his misery. She wouldn't dare look back but took off in a run to the house wiping her tears away. She fled back to the room and something possessed her. She began ripping drawers out of the dresser until she found a notebook. She tore the clean untouched pages out and threw the notebook on the floor.

She flopped down on the bed taking her pack and bringing Lunar's journal out. She took her knife and cut the paper to match the journal's size; before taking out the small first aid kit she carried and took some needle and thread out sowing the pages into the small leather book. She placed the needle back into the kit after taking out a black pen. She tossed the kit aside and started writing with uncommon speed and motive.

_Entry 1 by Angel,_

_The world has gone to shit. I just seen a good man die his stomach ripped down the middle. I should've been able to put him out of his misery but I couldn't do it. He was such a good man out of all the survivors in the group he was the last one to deserve to fall. We were on the same side about killing a boy . . . we didn't want to when everyone else thought it was best._

_He deserves to be remembered just like Lunar. I think in the end he lost hope for this new world to be good and keep it's humanity. Honestly I really can't blame him . . . I'm surprised I haven't lost it myself but I'll keep going. This is the dream to see a world that's good. This is what my fallen brethren wanted to carry out and make real. Until my last breath I will fight for it. I can't promise I can keep these people safe but I won't let them lose their humanity. I promise that much and I will pass it to them to pass along and just maybe one day it'll happen._

She tossed it aside into her pack with the pen before crawling back up to the pillows. She hoped she would wake up and it was all just a dream but it wasn't. She didn't want to face that truth; it was too much for her at that moment. She closed her eyes praying to fall into a dream not caring whether it was pleasant or hellish. Anything was better then reality. Reality was so cruel and bleak.

She finally gave up on the hope of falling into a sleep where she could stay forever. She turned roughly laying on her back and starred at the ceiling.

Sun light leaked from the small window slowly. How long had she lain there? Eternity it seemed but it was only a few hours. Her mind was fragile and weak at that point. The scene was all just a reminder no matter how good of a person you are, death won't forget you. Reminded her just how fragile life was; here and gone the next type of shit. "Please tell me it was just a dream," she said to the air expecting it to answer back. Only silence carried out.

She finally pushed herself up hugging her knees. "Ok it isn't I get it," she said angrily. The anger she felt was the only thing that got her on her feet. She put on all her gear not feeling comfortable enough to leave it behind. She decided she could eat something maybe it'd help her snap back to her former self.

Everyone was gathered at the table when she entered the kitchen. She took a seat and a plate had been set out for her. Lori had done that for her all the time and if she didn't eat it she'd put it away without saying anything. She picked at her food taking a bite here and there having a lot of trouble swallowing it. There were no words spoken up until Angel spoke. "Are we going to have a service for Dale?" she asked softly not looking up from the food.

"Yes," Rick answered from across her. "Right after we finish eating." Angel nodded slowly pushing her plate away suddenly disgusted with it. She may have taken a bite or two. She crossed her hands in her lap fiddling with her fingers. The silence was mind shattering she had to escape it. She fled the table without a word and no one bothered stopping her.

She pushed the front door opened before walking down the steps having an awful feeling. She looked at the barn that was over in the distance. She ran to it feeling possessed once again. She was going to talk to the boy and find out what kind of person he really was. Intimidation made it a lot easier. That's why she cut her hand with her knife and painted her face in the blood. Before going in she tied a rag around the gash on the inside of her hand. She took the silver dagger out of her boot and picked the lock holding the door shut.

She entered letting her eyes rest on the boy in the corner. He had been fighting the handcuffs until she entered. She took a small stool and sat in front of him. She just starred at him for a long moment before removing his blindfold with a frown. "You should be scared as hell right now," she said in a deep voice twirling the small dagger over in her fingers. "All this talk of killing you and what not. I'm going to ask you a few questions and you're going to answer honestly or . . ." she gave a small menacing laugh tracing the dagger along his face without cutting him.

"If we were to let you go would you bring your people back?" she asked starring daggers into him. He just starred at her with a fearful gaze. That annoyed her. It was a yes or no question that could be answered with a nod. She traced the dagger over his cheek once again before cutting the gag he had on away in a flash. "Well?"

"No I won't I promise," he answered lowly. The fear he carried out in his words was genuine but he was lieing, and she knew it.

"There are kids here. Could you live with the fact that they were killed just for revenge? Could you?" she asked making him look her in the eyes. He nodded a no. Yet another lie. "I'm the Devil! And I have a special fucking way of dealing with liars," she stated laughing hysterically. "Cut their tongues out so they can weave no more lies and put pins in their ears so they have no influence. Boy you're gonna die so you better get right with whatever god you were taught to believe in! This new world won't have room for liars." She replaced the gag and blindfold laughing lowly.

So maybe she was having way too much fun messing with the kid but she knew now he was a liar. She hated liars. She left the barn replacing the lock just as it was before. She wiped the blood from her face with a rag hoping she got most of it. But honestly she didn't really care.

She walked further away stumbling across the memorial service for Dale. She kept her distance but attended never the less. She wanted to say a few words for the man but she held her tongue and let Rick do it. It had did a great job too. Before anyone had the chance to notice her she left the spot returning to the house. As she walked through the door crying met her ears. She walked to the spare room and opened the door slowly. Jewel was laid out crying.

Angel closed the door softly and sat beside her. "Darlin' what's wrong?" she asked sincerely.

"Dale died . . . Sophia died . . . everyone's going to die Angel. Carl, you, Daryl, and everyone. Even me."

"Baby," Angel began in a hushed tone. She rubbed the small of the girl's back trying to comfort her. "It's life . . . it's going to happen at some point but you can't be scared of it. You need to enjoy the time you do have with them. Even after they're gone you still have memories of the time you were with them . . . Is there anything I can do to make you feel better darlin'?"

"Don't ever leave me." She sat up wiping her blue eyes. She looked at Angel with a look that made make her do anything for the little girl. "You can't leave me . . . Sunny told me one day you would but you can't. I won't make it without you. I love you Angel." She wrapped Angel in a death grip of a hug whimpering. Angel paused for a long minute. One day she would leave Jewel maybe not on purpose. There was no way she could promise such a thing. She finally wrapped Jewel in her arms and brought her closer letting her chin rest on the girl's head.

"I love you two Jewel. Everything will get better you'll see." She felt like crying but for once no tears met her eyes. A long time passed where they just sat there saying nothing.

"Angel!" Someone yelled opening the door. It was Carl. "Come quick its Shane! Dad wants you!" he said quickly. Angel looked at Jewel pushing her away.

"Stay with Carl darlin'," she said standing up running past Carl and outside. She ran to the group gathered around Shane.

"The fucker jumped me! He got out the barn snatched my piece when I went after him," Shane was explaining. His nose was busted up pretty bad. Angel glared at him something felt really off about the whole thing.

"That kid got the better of you Shane?" Angel questioned suspiciously eyeing him while crossing her arms.

"I'm telling you the bastard jumped me! If me and Rick go now I think we can catch up to him." Angel took Rick gently by the arm and pulled him out of ear range. She starred up at him with an unreadable expression.

"Rick something's not right," she warned, letting his arm go. "Don't go with Shane alone." He paused for a moment taking in a deep breath.

"Angel it'll be ok . . . if we're not back in an hour I want you, Glen, and Daryl to start looking for the boy ok." Angel glared at the ground but gave a small nod before he walked away with Shane.

"Something bad is going to happen," she mumbled to herself watching them leave.

"What?" Daryl asked behind her. He had just passed her to leave but he heard her mumbling to herself. She turned around slowly and looked at him with a sad look.

"Something is wrong. Something bad is going to happen I feel it in my gut." Her voice was void of emotion. Nine out of ten times when she felt like that a tragedy followed. She was scared.

He starred at her, "Everything will be ok." She gave a weak smile trying not to sound like a broken record. She walked away but stopped and turned around on her heal.

"Come get me in an hour. We'll go looking for them then." She left then not looking back. She had no clue what she would do for that hour. Her anxiety was making it very difficult to concentrate long enough to even decide which direction to walk in.

She finally was able to calm it enough to sit down. She started playing with her weapons, wiping them down, loading her guns and sharpening her knifes. It was actually a bit soothing and kept her mind off everything that was going on around her. She couldn't avoid the obvious for long though.

Daryl walked up to her without saying anything. She knew it was time. "Let's go," she said sheaving her knife and placing the flint stone in her pocket. She stood quickly. "Where's Saint at?"

"Glen? He waiting at the edge for us." She gave small nod and stepped up her tempo as he led the way.

"We don't have long before dark," she stated walking beside him on a mission. Her anxiety was all but gone but that feeling wasn't.

"Yea I know. We ain't got any time to waste." He picked up the pace when Glen started walking ahead of them as they entered the wood line.

"You ok?" Glen asked grabbing her shoulder as she caught up.

"Yea." She lied shrugging his hand off. There were no words for a long time between any of them. The woods got dark before anywhere else. It grew dark quick. While the other two used flashlights she just let her sight and hearing heighten to blend. She put a bit of distance between herself and them to keep her state keen.

"Hey Angel check this out," Glen called back as they stopped. Angel quickly walked to the spot. Studying the ground they were looking at.

"Looks like they got in a fight here," she stated looking around. "Look at this." She pointed to a tree that had blood on it. "Huh." She shrugged before walking around it. Her foot kicked something metal under the leaves. She stopped and moved the leaves. She couldn't see what it was because the flashlights had dimmed her senses. "Hey can I get some light," she said lowly looking back at Glen and Daryl.

Daryl walked to her shining the light down in front of her. She picked the item up seeing it was a gun. "That's Shane's gun," Glen said from behind. Nothing had to be said they knew exactly what she was thinking. She stood and kept venturing around not to far from them.

Something grabbed her and growled. She drew her knife before elbowing whatever it was. It was a walker. She threw the knife in its eyes and kneeled down to the body as Daryl and Glen ran toward her. They shined the light down at the body. It was the kid. She felt bad then for telling the boy he was going to die. Maybe she had jinxed him. Angel slapped the thing's face noticing his neck had been snapped. "His neck's broke," she stated standing up and taking a step back.

Daryl studied the body coming to a shocking conclusion. "There's no bites or scratches," he said standing back up. Angel had an idea what that meant but she kept her thoughts silent.

"We should go back," she said pulling her knife out its eye. They nodded in agreement with her. The walk back was faster going then coming.

They walked out of the tree line stumbling across something awful. A herd was moving through. There had to be more then two hundred walkers. Angel stumbled back in shock. "Holy shit," she mumbled. "Jewel."

"Come on we got to get out of here," Daryl said shaking her from behind. She turned and faced him quickly.

"No I have to find Jewel." She saw Glen sprinting towards the house. "Glen wait!" she yelled after him. "Shit!" She shrugged Daryl off.

"We gotta go!" he repeated grabbing her arm and stopping her from running.

"No you have to go! I gotta find Jewel and make sure the others are safe." She grabbed both sides of his face before planting a short soft kiss upon his lips. "I love you! Now go!" She yelled pushing him away. He was shocked.

She ran to the house as fast as her feet would carry her and that was pretty damn quick. Hershel walked out carrying a shotgun from the house. People were arguing and screaming as well. She stopped. "Hershel where's Jewel?" she screamed. He didn't answer her only starred at her.

A scream made a chill run up her spine and she ran for it. She drew her machete and pistol knocking down any walker that got in her way. She made it to Lori who was fighting to go and find Rick and Carl. Jewel was with them. It was T-dog, Beth, and Lori. Patricia had fallen. She passed the poor woman on the way to them. It made it easier to slip past the walkers that were eating her alive.

"I have to find Rick and my boy!" Lori yelled pushing T-Dog.

"No!" Angel yelled running to them. "Lori you have to go!" there wasn't time for this. She turned to T-Dog grabbing Jewel up. "T-Dog take Jewel and get her and Lori out of here please." He gave a nod taking the girl in his amrs.

"Where are you going?" he yelled as she turned to run away.

"To find the others and make sure they're ok! Go now!" she yelled back before running to her bike and hopping on cranking it. She ripped out and shot and cut her way through the chaos. She saw that Glen, Maggie, and Daryl were all ok. Another scream met her ears and she stopped spinning the bike around. Andrea was trapped. She sped off and stopped by her after shooting her clip out drawing her other pistol.

"Andrea!" Angel screamed angrily. "Get on!"

"They left me," she cried.

"Well I didn't get on!" Andrea didn't protest, she ran and hopped behind Angel and they sped off. Angel passed the barn, which was on fire. They made it to the wood line barely making it past the bigger parts of the herd. They weren't out of trouble yet.

The bike squealed and cut off. The engine had locked up and it was useless. A group of walkers were right behind them. Angel pulled Andrea off the bike and grabbed her shoulders. She knew what had to be done. "Andrea listen to me and listen close," she said shaking the woman's shoulders. "You run and you don't look back. I'll hold them off!"

"No Angel you can't!"

"This isn't a fucking debate. Now you go and find the rest of the group! Go damn it!" She pushed Andrea away reloading her guns. The woman ran, as Angel had demanded. The walkers were close now and she was ready.

She drew both her pistols waiting. She started shooting as fast as she could pull the triggers. She made every bullet count as she cut the number down. She let the clips fall out her gun before she replaced them with once last set of clips. She started walking backwards as they got closer. She shot the last of the bullets before turning and running as fast as she could.

She didn't know how long she had been running but her legs finally collapsed from under her. She tried bracing against a tree but it was useless she was out of fuel. She laid down breathing heavily as tears ran down her face. Day light was near and she could see better now. but nothing mattered. "Angel!" someone screamed in her ear.

She opened her eyes and looked up. She was hallucinating. Lunar stood over her glaring down at her. "What the fuck do you want?" she yelled at him.

"Get the fuck up!" he demanded slapping her face. "You're not done yet!"

"I can't!" she cried loudly punching the air where he was supposed to be but it didn't faze him. Never even touched him.

"So tats' all she's got. Damn shame if ye' ask me," Sunny said beside her. "An' she was 'pose ta' be tha' strongest out of all us! Feckin' pussy in me opinion." He patted her forehead before standing up.

"She can do it!" Lunar yelled, standing over her glaring at Sunny. "Suck it up Hellfire!" He starred down at her.

"Fuck you!" she screamed at both of them before getting up with a lot of effort and started stumbling with the two trailing her going on about this and that. She wanted them the hell away from her. A small white spot shone behind some thick trees and bushes. She started running for it nearly falling a few times but she kept going. She ran into a small opening. And the white had been a side of a house.

She kicked in the front door ignoring the two babbling behind her. She blocked the door with a sturdy table attempting to block Lunar and Sunny out as well. She walked through but darkness played in front of her eyes and she passed out in the middle of the floor.

She awoke to a moist sensation playing on her cheek. She grunted pushing herself up a little. At least it was still daylight. She nearly jumped out of her skin when her eyes laid upon a half grown wolf pup standing over her. He licked her cheek once again wagging his tail. At first she thought she was hallucinating again but she reached up and ran her fingers through its solid black fur. One of its eyes was blood red and the other a pale blue color.

It was nearly as big as Angel herself but she knew it wasn't fully-grown considering its face wasn't completely developed. "What you want?" she asked it as it stepped away from her and laid on his stomach. He cocked his head to the side letting one of his ears droop down. She glared at it. "Well fine just stare at me like I'm stupid." She got up on unsteady legs before moving the table from the door. She walked outside and decided she needed to keep moving before that group of walkers found her. She sighed rubbing her face. She then proceeded in one direction not sure what to do now. She had all but forgot the others.

A whimper sounded behind her. She turned and saw the wolf sitting down starring at her. "Oh no you can't come," she told it. It whimpered again. She grunted. "Ok fine but I'm not feeding you." The dog jumped up and wagged its tail running beside Angel. He looked like he was smiling.

"Hell of a companion," Lunar said smiling beside her.

"Seriously what the fuck do you and Sunny want?" she asked starring at him.

"Ta' make sure ye' keep goin'," Sunny said appearing beside the wolf. "I think ye' should name 'im Mutt." He smiled.

"Mutt it is," she mumbled pressing forward.

A few hours later she found herself in an abandoned town. She went through each building one at a time until she stumbled across a bar that had a loft upstairs. The place was full of supplies as well. She looked at Mutt who had that smile painted on his snout. "What you think boy? We could stay here." The dog wagged his tail happily before tugging on Angel's leg playfully. "Oh you want to go a round?" she laughed and he yipped at her happily.


	11. Not Falling

**So here's chap eleven! my mind is all screwed up but I still feel I didn't do Angel's insanity justice like I have before. Eng. . .**

**I still hope you enjoy :)**

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Chapter Eleven: Not Falling

_That all I need is to find the middle pillar path to sit like the sun by a star in the sky and  
just be.  
Sinners, casting stones at me._

_I... I stand, (for nothing), not crawling, (the center), not falling down (of calms within the eye)  
I... I'll bleed, (for no one), The demons, (but myself), that pull me down (for me and no one else)_

_Goodbye, sunshine, I've put it out again, sad  
I'm over, personalities, conflicting, I don't need you, or anyone, but me, I'll just be, living  
my own life  
I feel my glowing center grow, infecting  
I feel alive  
Shovel dirt over lime, plant it in myself to sit like a seed under covers of earth and just be  
Sinners, pointing fingers at me._

_Come play kill  
Refuse my body, refuse my shadow  
Stond cold will  
Refuse to lead this, refuse to follow  
Bitter pills  
Refuse to feed this, refuse to swallow  
I'm fueled godless_

There was a problem after moving into the bar. Easy enough to move into, easy enough to enjoy being there; it was just Angel had no idea what to do and between her anxiety and fragile mind it was just a matter of time before she slipped into the dark recesses of madness. She always had a problem deciding what to do; she needed to be told what to do. However, there was no one around beside a wolf and two ghosts.

Day one on her own wasn't too hard. She wanted a generator and that's just what she got and then some. There had been a shop on the corner of the town.

Angel laid on her bed in the loft upstairs in the bar starring at a ceiling that offered her nothing but silence. "What can I do?" she asked to no one in particular. She sat up in deep thought. "What to do?"

"Well I would go get a generator make this place a bit more homey. You know?" Lunar said appearing on a table in the corner.

"You know that's actually not a bad idea," she responded throwing her feet off the side of the bed. "I wish I knew where to find some ammo."

"Worry bout one thing at a time," he said before disappearing. She stared at the spot for a long moment wondering where the hell he had went. She shrugged and stood up catching Mutt's attention. She stretched and slumped back into a sloppy posture.

"Are you going with me buddy?" she asked softly taking her guns off and pack throwing them on the bed roughly. He stood and wagged his tail. "I thought so." She gave a small laugh and walked to the stairs. Mutt and her descended the stairs quickly.

"A drink before ye' go?" Sunny asked motioning his hand at a serious of bottles behind the bar.

"Wouldn't hurt anything," she decided hopping over the counter pouring herself and the ghost a shot in two dirty glasses. She drank it all in one go before sputtering from the strength of the drink. "Ready to go?" she asked Mutt hopping back over the counter. The dog wagged his tail before playfully running to the door. She smiled before taking off in a run toward him.

She opened the door and Mutt ran out before looking around carefully to see if the coast was clear. "You wanna go play?" she asked lowly. He gave a yip before taking off and running out of sight. She had no fear that he would leave her. She then double times it to the other side of the small town breaking into a mechanic shop she had left alone the day before.

She walked around the various counters grabbing up a gas can before she went into the back of the store. The shop was huge and had various cars. In the corner she spotted a small generator and picked it up. It was a bit heavy but she didn't let the weight bring her down. She put it down for a moments and scavenged gas out the abandoned cars with a hose. She had a full gas can and there were still plenty of cars that she hadn't got the chance to scavenge.

She grabbed up the can and generator making a bit of nosy and before she knew what had grabbed onto her something bit down into her fore arm. She stumbled back from the walker that had latched into. She took the knife and jumped up stabbing it in the head and pulled her knife out. The bite wasn't big but she knew what would happen. She decided to pretend it never even happened before grabbing up the dropped supplies and running back to the bar. She left the door half way open for Mutt.

She stumbled to the bar before letting her back fall against it roughly. She studied the bite carefully. She decided to cut her shirt to make a bandage. "God damn it!" she screamed at the air. She knew she was going to die. It was ok though and she accepted it. She'd just burn out and it would all be ok. She grabbed the bottle from eelier with a wide grin. "It's finally over!" As she got deeper into the bottle a drink right after the other she fell into a deep sleep.

She woke up to the dark with something licking on her arm. How long had she been out? She didn't know. She stood up going behind the bar lighting a match. She found a few candles and lit them. Mutt whined from the other side of the bar. She quickly shut the front door barricading it with a heavy table. She stumbled back to her spot before relaxing again. She took the bandage off and the bite had scabbed over somewhat. Mutt came over and began licking it. She didn't bother to stop him until she thought that maybe it'd make him sick. She pushed him away and tied the bandage back around it.

Why wasn't she dead yet? She couldn't figure it out. She felt her head remembering people telling her you get a fever when you start to turn. She had no fever. Maybe she'd be ok.

She stood then stumbling a bit trying to adjust her eyes better to the candlelight. "Sunny! Lunar!" She yelled and smoke danced from the candles and they sat on each side of her on bar stools. "What the hell is going on?" she demanded to know slamming the bottle down on the counter.

"Don't know maybe you need to find someone who could give you some answers," Lunar offered, pouring himself a drink.

"Aye!" Sunny cut it. "Ye' shoulda' turn by now . . . But ye' haven't."

"Aren't you happy?" Lunar asked starring her down with pale blue eyes that pierced the darkness all around.

"I don't know . . . maybe . . . I'm just confused," she said lowly taking another drink form the cracked bottle settling in the bar stool in a slumped posture. She was confused beyond belief.

"Go get some sleep darlin'," Sunny ordered disappearing into the darkness with Lunar. How did she feel about the two ghosts that would tell her what to do? Happy. She thought they were actually alive and not just her mind playing tricks to keep her alive.

She stood with a lot of effort then. "Come on Mutt time for bed," she said lowly leaving the bottle on the bar top. He whined nudging a bowl begging for some food. "Ok give me a minute."

She grabbed the candle and fled behind a door that had been a supply room and picked out a bad of packaged food and snatched up a bottle of water. She shut the behind her quietly and kicked his bowl that he starred at before she ripped the bag opened and poured the odd looking food into the bowl and grabbed another pouring water into it. He gave a small smile before jumping into it eating it.

She laughed before descending the stairs and leaving the door cracked for Mutt. She wasted no time stripping her demolished shirt off and jumping in the dusty sheets and pillows the bed offered. Dead sleep followed soon after.

She jumped out of her sleep around seven in the morning. She was scared at first. But fear subsided when she realized she was still herself and hadn't turned. Why though? She couldn't answer it. Maybe she was immune to the virus. She didn't know. She did feel a lot better now however her mind seemed a bit cleared.

She pushed the dirty sheets off of her and held her head for a moment. She nudged Mutt who lay beside her and he gave a growl before jumping down with an annoyed look. She wiped her eyes clean of any sign of sleep. She jumped up grabbing her sack that she had slung of the bed the night before. She yanked a tank top off and pulled it over her head.

After a moment she flopped back down on the bed removing the bandage on her arm studying the bite. It looked like a new scar no longer needing a bandage. "What the fuck is going on?" she asked hoping for an answer.

Mutt starred at her like she was stupid before leaving the room. She threw the regiments of her make shift bandage on the floor. She grabbed both sides of her head in frustration. That's when she remembered Jewel and started sobbing. She hoped she was ok. She couldn't stay still any longer and dwell on her thoughts. It would drive her mad. She clipped on her knifes and pulled her boots on tying them half way before leaving the room.

She starred at the generator for a long time before picking it up and going outside. She went to the back noticing where a generator had once been. Or she guessed it had been. A box made out of plywood stood with an opening to place something in and a plug hung loosely coming out a back window. She placed the generator inside and hooked it up to the plug.

She then retrieved the gas and filled it up turning it on briefly to see if it worked. She turned the lights on in the bar and laughed happily especially considering the plywood blocked almost all the noise the generator produced. She cut it off to save the gas before returning inside. She sat down at the bar noticing a dirty glass half full of liquor. It had been the glass she filled for Sunny but that didn't register to her. She drunk it and fled back to the storage room and grabbed two packs of food and a bottle of water.

She sat at the bar eating the dried food the best she could as Mutt ate his quietly on the floor beside her. She finally pushed the food away and took a big swallow of water. She went back to the loft upstairs and saw there was a spot that came opened on the ceiling. She pulled the cord that hung off of it and it opened to a small set of stairs. She climbed them and emerged on top the roof. She smiled happily at that. She now had a look out tower. She had everything she wanted at the moment and it made her happy for once. Happiness can only last for so long though . . .

Day 51

Angel had only gone down after she finally came to terms that Jewel was really gone and she had no way of knowing if she was ok. There were days where she would laugh and dance to music in her head all day. There were days where she would pick fights with bar stools and tables only beating herself up. And there were days she'd try to talk to Jewel and hit the bottle, crying herself to sleep when she realized she wasn't there.

It was a very fucked up little world she had created for herself. If it weren't for Mutt she would've probably cut her wrists to bleed out after the first few days. The descent into madness had only gotten worse as the days went by. She had forgotten the others all besides Jewel. She could never forget the girl no matter how hard she tried and it took its toll. This day though, this day changed everything.

"Mutt!" Angel sung happily kicking his food bowl with her foot. Mutt ran out wagging his tail and yipping happily. She grabbed the bowl and put some food in it and teased him. The first time was ok but the second time he growled at her warningly. Picking a fight with a 174 pound wolf was not something someone does for the hell of it but there she was smiling like hell. Mutt jumped on her growling and snarling loudly. It was something to fear but she just laughed harder. "Ok you fucking cry baby!" She yelled and slid the food away from her and he released her from under him with an annoyed stare. "Mutt is a pussy," she sung laughing. "Ok crybaby eat your food I'm going to the roof."

With that she fled up to the roof with and empty rifle. She sat up there in the hot sun for a few hours starring down at the roads silently. Movement drew her attention away though and she placed the gun against her shoulder starring down the sight. A man appeared walking down the road. He wore a black shirt and camo pants. He had long black hair that reached his shoulder and a goatee that was way too long. On his belt was a knife and that's all the weapons he had. He was covered in dirt and blood.

She quietly placed the gun down and ran to the other side of the rook using the gutter pipe to slide down quietly. She crept around the building with no sound and waited for him to pass the bar.

Quickly but silently she made her way to him, from behind she grabbed him in a chokehold and drew his own knife placing it to his head. "Who are you and what the fuck are you doing here?" she demanded yanking him back roughly.

"Who the fuck are you?" he yelled back grabbing her arms that squeezed him throat. "Please I don't want any trouble. I'm just passing through looking for a woman." His voice made something in her mind click.

"Who are you looking for?"

"Angel Hellfire! You probably don't know her!"

"I may! Why do you want her?" She let her grip relax a bit but still kept him in place.

"Her boss has been looking for her and he sent me! My name's Chad!" She pushed him away and he turned quickly with his hands up. His blue eyes fell into shock for a moment and he smiled. "Angel you scared the hell out me!"

"How do you know me?" She still held the knife ready to throw at any time. He kept his hands up still smiling.

"You don't remember me? I was a scientist at the base. You trained me. Where's Sunny?"

"No I don't remember you." She lowered her guard and held the knife out for him to grab. "Sunny is inside with Lunar and Mutt." The man frowned and took his knife hesitantly.

"Angel . . . Lunar has been dead for a while."

"No he's not! Come in I'll show you." She turned and walked inside the bar with him following her. "Sunny! Lunar we got company!" she called out loudly. They never appeared but Mutt did and he growled and snarled at the man. "Shut up! He's company be nice!" She patted his head and he lowered down watching the man closely.

"Angel," Chad said softly keeping his distance from the dog. "Lunar died seven years ago on the field." Angel starred at him with knitted eyebrows a long time her mind regeristing something terrible happening seven years ago.

She looked around the bar for the two ghosts once again. To her they were alive and this guy didn't know what the hell he was talking about. She then noticed the shot glasses that were still full where she had poured drinks for them. Then it clicked. They were both dead and she had been taking advice from ghosts. That realization nearly knocked her down. She turned to Chad and started laughing hysterically then started sobbing slumping down on a broken barstool. "You're right I forgot," she whimpered loudly. She looked up with a straight face then. She smiled at him. "And Sunny has been dead for months now. I had to shoot him after he got bit." She grabbed a bottle nearby and took a big swallow trying to forget they were actually dead.

Chad just watched her. She had always been a nut job but she had taken it to a new level. It was in all honesty scared shitless of her. He took seat at one of the tables and rested his elbows. He starred at her further and he noticed the scar on her arm. He had to ask. "What happened to your arm?" She turned and laughed a little.

"I got bit but I never turned. Can you give me any answers on that?" He looked taken back.

"Wh-what? How?" he stuttered.

"I don't know! You're supposed to be the smart one!" She stood then kicking a bar stool across the room. He stayed quiet as she had her fit. She kicked tables and threw empty bottles all around yelling profanities. "It's not fucking fair everyone's gone! Chad there are all gone!" She threw her hands out be dramatic. "And I'm still here! Why the fuck is this?" He stood then slowly not to agitate her any further.

"I don't know . . . When shit hit the fan the only person Axel wanted was you that was nearly six months ago. When Sunny never came back he sent everyone out to look for you, he even sent a chopper over to Thailand. You must be really important to all of this."

"So he knew I couldn't be infected or something?" She flopped down on a table she hadn't demolished in her rage.

"I can't answer that but he could. We packed up and moved us all to a more secure base between Georgia and South Carolina. He wanted me to find you and bring you back when no one else came."

"If he sent you he must be out of good man. Where's Jeff and Tiny?"

"I don't know."

"You come in here with a lot of information boy . . . but you ain't answered the first damn question I've asked . . . My twenty ninth birthday was last week and I couldn't even get a fucking ice cream cone." She laughed and he gave weak smile leaning against the wall. "You know Chad for a nerd you're kinda cute . . . got a rock star look about you." He gave a big grin then blushing a bit.

"For a merc that's completely fucked in the head you're kind of charming."

"What? That's all I get?" She laughed. She let her smile fade quickly. "So what now?"

"We could try to go back to the base."

"Nope!" Angel drug the word out stubbornly before standing. "Not going back to that shit hole and let you experiment on me. Wasn't that bad of a bite in the first place."

"That scar says otherwise."

"Still I'm not going. You can stay here until you decided what to do but I'm not leaving. This is my home now. End of the story, you've done enough as it is."

"What did I do?" he said a tad bit louder then he met to.

"A lot actually. Stay away from me while you're here." She stood then and retreated up to the loft with Mutt right behind her. The wolf didn't like the man, then again he didn't like anyone besides Angel. Angel returned to the roof and grabbed up her rifle and perched herself up there once again with a bottle. She started crying then remembering that Sunny and Lunar were really gone. It was taking a big toll on her.


	12. Enough with the bullshit

**I'm not too happy with how short this chapter is. I could've made it a lot longer but i got lazy. I still hope you all enjoy it. I will bring more action and words to the table next time.**

**:) Enjoy!**

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**Chapter Twelve: Enough with the bullshit**

_Grown from a seed of hope I've never known  
Been raised by the surroundings of a home so cold, so cold  
If I only knew what I know_

I'll shake my fist up to the sky  
Just keeping my dreams alive  
I'm one part saint and two part sinner,  
And the last part is still on the line

_We pray even when we know nobody cares, ah ya  
And make everything we know turn into fear  
And then disappear_

Day 59

Angel walked down the stairs. Chad slept soundly on a bed made of tablecloths and trash bags. She hadn't spoken to the man much lately mostly because he just wanted to talk her into going to the base. She also knew he had no intention of leaving, she couldn't kill him but maybe she could scare him away. She let the thought slip from her mind as she jumped on top the bar counter.

She sat there for a long time watching the man sleep. He slept so soundly as if there was nothing wrong. She was pretty sure he took some kind of drug to do it but she wasn't going to ask. For the most part he stayed away from her like she had told him. And as long as he didn't get to close to Angel or the stairs Mutt left him alone. He had done enough damage by coming in and scaring off her ghosts. Yes they had been annoying but they gave her piece of mind.

Deep in her mind she could remember him but every time she thought too much on it a terrible feeling hit home. There were times at the base she couldn't remember and she didn't know why. So many questions were unanswered and she saw it stupid to make an attempt in trying to get the man to answer them honestly. She was sure though that he knew a lot more then she did. That pissed her off to no end.

Angel grabbed a near by bottle and took a drink before lying out on the bar top. "What to do today?" she asked herself in a whisper scratching her nose. Chad stirred nearby standing up putting on his shoes stumbling briefly before catching himself.

"What were you watching me sleep?" he asked a bit hatefully. The woman was stubborn, selfish, and completely screwed in the head from his point of view. The fact that she had been there for a while made him uneasy.

"Yep," she answered popping her lips and sitting up. "What does that bother you?" He nodded a bit grabbing his knife and clipping it to his belt. She laughed at him. She then threw her hand up signaling for him to be quiet. "Did you hear that?"

"What?" Just then a distant terrified scream rang out. Angel jumped up throwing the bottle out running out of the bar with Chad on her heel. She sprinted towards the sound. Farther out in the town a group of walkers had a woman trapped in a corner.

They both sprung into attack mode taking the walkers down in stealth in less then two minutes they had cleared them all. "Your lucky day," Angel said with a smile turning to the woman. She frowned as her mind clicked out a bit. The woman looked a lot like her sister did and there was a big problem with that. She hated her sister enough to have killing tendencies that came to mind when she thought of her.

She ran at the woman who had no chance of getting away. The girl was short with long dirty blonde hair and green eyes. Her clothes were tattered and torn and tainted with blood. "Kelly!" Angel screamed taking her down to the ground before pulling a rag out tying her hands painfully behind her.

"Angel!" Chad screamed angrily behind her trying to grab her arm. She elbowed him in the nose roughly and he stumbled back grabbing his bloody nose. She made the woman stand being everything but gentle. "I'm not Kelly," the woman cried.

"Shut the fuck up bitch!" Angel yelled slapping her down to the ground before yanking her back to her feet. Chad could do nothing but watch in horror and stumble after them back to the bar.

When in the bar Angel pushed the girl at a table and she fell into it crying out in pain. Mutt watched from a corner. He had just arrived back from prowling the woods. Angel yanked the girl back up leading her up the stairs and onto the roof. She had a bag of supplies and tools up there and a chair. She made the girl sit down in the chair before bringing a roll of duck tape out of the bag tying her down to it angrily.

"I'm . . . I'm not Kelly!" the woman sobbed loudly. Angel slapped her hard again causing her head to snap in the other direction. She then stuffed a rag in her mouth placing a strip of tape over her mouth. Angel started laughing as she searched the girl for any weapons. She was clean. The girl still cried.

Between the cries and laughs it was the perfect tune of madness. Finally Angel had had enough. "Shut the fuck up!" she yelled into the woman's face loudly. "Now Kelly the sweet fucking precious angel mama loved! We're going to have some fun in a little while. I'm just gonna give you a little time to think about all the shit you let happen to me." She brought her hands together with a smile waiting for the poor woman to nod. "Well?"

The woman just whimpered louder and Angel punched her in the jaw and knocked her out. "Stupid fucking whore," Angel mumbled taking the bag and going back down into the loft. She sat on the bed and her mind clouded in unpleasant thoughts. She remembered her child hood and the worst parts crossed her mind in violent spurts. She screamed out at them trying to scare them away. She had had enough, her mind snapped.

Enough games. Enough damn riddles and unanswered questions. She then fled down the stairs in a possessed rage. She saw Chad and lost any control. She took him down in a swift motion. She held him down and nearly hissed. "I want answers you sorry son of a bitch!" she yelled angrily banging his head on the hard wooden floor. He tried fighting back but it was useless Angel wasn't going to let him move. "Why am I important to Axel? We were all expandable! Why not me though?"

"You were the perfect soldier!" he screamed desperately. "You survived all the experimental drugs!"

"You experimented on me?" She screamed like a maniac. She punched him hard then. "Is that what Axel wanted?"

"Yes!" His lip started pouring blood then. "It made you stronger! There were side effects though . . . insomnia, anorexia, and a bipolar disorder. It made you crazier! But you were made the perfect soldier!"

"What else?" She loosened her grip on him a little.

"That's all I know! Axel knows everything though!" She let him go then and stood.

"So the reason I can't sleep, I can't eat, and the fucking reason I can't think straight is because of you and him!" She kicked a chair out of her way and hit a wooden poll busting her knuckle open.

"I was just following orders." He kicked himself away from her but didn't dare take a chance on running. She turned and laughed hysterically starring daggers into him.

"Just following orders?" She slammed a bottle nearby into the wall. "Following fucking orders! I trusted that bastard! We all fucking did!" She paused then for a moment before stomping over to Chad and pulling him on his feet. "Did you pump Sunny and Lunar full of drugs too?"

"Yes."

"And did it make them have side effects?"

"Yes that's why Axel cut it off after the first few doses . . . he wasn't trying to hurt any one."

"We were your fucking lab rats!" Angel slung him into the wall and he fell with a pained whimper. "They died for what that bastard wanted!" She pulled him back up slamming his head into the wall. He could do nothing to protect himself. "We trusted him! Did every fucking thing he wanted!" She kicked him in the gut with gritted teeth. "And your no fucking better then him! The bastard is just as bad as the fucking people he had killed! Stopping at fucking nothing to get what he wanted!" She kicked him harder.

"Fuck you!" He screamed coughing up blood. "You're fucking crazy! You and that fucking dead boy friend of yours!" Angel didn't know who he was referring to but it matter. She had had enough. She snatched him up and pushed him towards the door.

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" She pushed him again into the door and he fell threw the glass. She followed him through cutting her arm on a sharp shard. "Leave! If you come back I'll kill you! Tell Axel to send armies to get me! I'm not ever fucking going back!" She stood over the man breathing heavily. "No fuck that! You go back and tell him he's going to die! I'm going to put a fucking bullet in his head!"

She returned back in the bar after Chad stood and ran into the cover of the woods. She fell against the bar and started crying loudly. "It was all I fucking lie!" she yelled angrily banging her fists against the bar top. "Everything was bull shit! We weren't following a dream we were puppets!" She was going into a break down then. Mutt ran down from the loft and tugged on her pants. He whined. She slumped down to the floor and hugged him tightly.

After an hour of pointless crying she stood roughly tying a rag around the cut on her arm. She was defeated. She felt everything she had stood for was a lie. Lunar died for a false dream, he died for a man who could've cared less. It was too much. She dragged herself back up to the roof and walked to the girl who was now awake.

The girl started sobbing loudly in fear of her life as Angel walked closer with a sad expression. She took out her knife and drug it across the woman's face gently. "Kelly I guess I'm no better then you . . . So I can't be mad at you," she said weakly letting a tear slide down her cheek. "I'm not going to say sorry though and don't you dare apologize to me . . . I'm a monster maybe that's why all of you did what you did. You saw it." She took the knife and trailed it down the tape holding the woman to the chair. "Now go."

The woman slowly pulled the tape off and the gag. She stood very hesitantly as Angel took the chair and sat it in herself holding her head in her hand. She looked up at the woman. "Are you fucking deaf? I said go!" She yelled angrily kicking the chair away. "Go!"

The woman fled then and Angel watched from the edge of the roof as she ran down the streets out of sight. Angel finally left her perch and returned downstairs and barricaded the broken door before feeding Mutt.

She drug herself up the stairs once again before falling into the sheets the bed offered. She prayed she would fall into a sleep where she could stay for an eternity. Why wouldn't God give her that?

Day 94

After that day Angel had fell into a depression that she couldn't rid away. Anger engulfed her mind and corrupted it. She never left that small room unless it was to feed Mutt or attempt to eat herself. She had truly placed herself in Hell.

She'd write letters to Jewel she knew the girl would never get to read. She plotted often about fleeing Georgia and find the base Chad had told her about. She never thought she'd actually do it but that day something changed as she starred down at the picture of her and Lunar.

Angel lunged off the bed packing her sack with all her belongings. She threw it on the bed and retreated down the stairs. "Mutt!" she called out loudly. The wolf came running out anxiously. "We're going on a trip. You gonna come help me find a car buddy?"

He yipped in reply. Sometimes she swore the dog actually understood everything she said. She pushed the broken tables and barstools out of the way of the door before ducking under the glass with Mutt following her closely. She wasted know time making it to the shop down the road avoiding a few walkers here and there. She picked out a car. It was a nice pick. A black 1972 Maverick that had a lot of work done to make it more efficient without taking the muscle out of it. She popped the hood and checked everything before slamming it down.

She wasted no time siphoning cans of gas and filling the tank up throwing a few cans in the back as well. She kicked the door in that led to the office and searched a drawer of keys. She picking up a set that had a small piece of paper attached to it reading 'Jon's Mav'. "Well Jon you had good taste," she said smiling before sticking the keys in her pocket. Mutt watched her from the door silently.

She smiled at him before leaving the shop and returning to the bar grabbing up bags of food and water. She ran back up to the loft picking up her belongings and weapons. She stopped at the door with Mutt standing beside her. "Well home I'll be back if I make it," she said before ducking under the broken glass door and returning to the shop. She threw the supplies in the back seat and ordered Mutt in and he didn't hesitate.

She opened the garage door before running and hopped in the car. It took a few tries but it finally roared to life and what a sound that was. By the time she had it running and revving the engine a small group of walkers had gathered in front of the car. She threw it in drive and spined the tires plowing through them all and hitting the road.

As she road along the open road she started plundering through a stack of Cds finding a Godsmack Cd and pushed it in the player. The speakers started blasting heavy guitar riffs and loud signing. "Well Jon you had very good taste! Thank you," she laughed and Mutt yipped happily sticking his head out the window.

It was going to be a hell of a ride.


	13. Another Good Man

**Jeeze after his one you know there's going to be hell to pay lol. I hope you all enjoy. I made hits one a lot longer.**

**Anyhow I'll let you to it :)**

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**Chapter Thirteen: Another good man**

_It doesn't really seem I'm getting through to you._  
_Though I see you weeping so sweetly._  
_I think that you might have to take another taste,_  
_a little bit of hell this time._

_You always wanted people to remember you.  
To leave your little mark on society!  
Another victim dies tonight. -Disturbed_

Day 121

The base stood in all its glory tall and proud and uninfected by the new world. A fifteen-foot tall fence surrounded it with razor wire at the top. And most likely there were cameras surrounding the place. That wouldn't be a problem. She was worried who was on the other side waiting for her. If it was anyone she trained they'd give her a decent fight. The night gave her some cover.

She sat in the car with her elbows pressed against the steering wheel. She studied the place and plotted. Thought about taking a drink but decided against it. A patch of woods she parked the car in covered her. Finally after enough thinking and building up her courage she jumped out leaving everything besides her knife and a pair of wire cutters and fence ties. She had to bring Mutt a long just in case.

She stealthy made her way to the fence still having the cover of the woods to hide her from the cameras. She cut the fence quickly letting Mutt in before sliding in herself. She tied the fence back and quickly made her way to the back door and pried the lock open with her dagger. She ordered Mutt to stay outside. Florescent lights almost knocked her back out as she entered. They were so bright. She took a minute to adjust before pulling her knife out and walking with the white wall that never seemed to end.

Before she knew it two people grabbed her from behind taking her weapons as they restrained her. "Angel," a voice asked confused as she was set against the wall. She turned to the source letting her glare die.

"Tiny?" she questioned with a small smile starring up at the seven foot tall Jamaican man that had long black dreads that nearly reached the floor. Tiny had an interesting story as serial killer who took out all the drug runners and gangbangers in his neighborhood at age 19. He was sentenced to life in prison without chance of parole. Two years later his name was pulled from the system and Axel brought him and Angel trained him. The man was huge in comparison to Angel but he respected the woman all the time he had known her.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he asked pulling the other men she didn't recognize away from her.

"I'm here to kill Axel," she answered honestly and he gave a baffled expression.

"What?"

"Yea Tiny the mother fucker needs to die. He experimented on all of us and he lied to us. Hear me out! The bastard needs to die don't believe his lies! I'm telling you!" Her eyes turned a dark red at that point and Tiny stepped back before the other man hit her against the head with the back of his pistol. Everything faded into blackness.

She awoke to voices whispering all around her. She looked up and realized she was in a cage. "Tiny," she called out weakly trying to will the headache away.

"Hey Hellfire," he said walking in her view with a small smile.

"Where's my dog?" She stood then noticing she was in a paper gown and that annoyed her. All her clothing and jewelry were gone. She walked to the bars and grabbed them starring up at the man.

"He's ok. I fed him and the damn thing nearly bit me but he's ok. Are you ok?"

"Not until Axel dies I wont be."

"Angel . . . you need to stop that or we can't let you out."

"You don't believe me?" She gave a short fake laugh before pushing away from the bars with a loud sigh. "Find the files on yourself it'll show you everything. We were all lab rats." She sat back down on the small naked mattress. "So what's going to happen now?"

"I don't know. No one is going to hurt you though."

"Watch my words Tiny . . . you'll see."

Day 126

Someone would always bring her food and water that she would hardly touch. Tiny and her would swap stories on occasion when he would be on watch over her. She was a prisoner now though kept in that cage for everyone to treat her like she was a display at a museum.

Angel sat on the small mattress in her own little world plotting uselessly. A door opened down the hallway and she jumped up her bare feet hitting the cold floor. She ran to the bars and tried to see who was walking down. Chad appeared in front of the bars and she nearly spit at him.

"Hey Angel," he said politely keeping his distance from the bars. She said nothing, only glared at him hatefully.

"So you made it?" she hissed clenching the bars in a tight grip wishing it was his throat.

"I did and now we have stuff to do." He started fiddling with a small pipe looking tube in his hand sticking something in it with a small smile.

"What the fuck are you-" Her words fell short as he put the tube to his mouth and blew shooting a dart into her neck. She stumbled back pulling it out. The world around her started spinning and she felt sick before collapsing to the floor with a hard thud.

"Nighty night Hellfire," Chad said opening the cage door before the world faded away.

She awoke to the sound of emptiness. She tried to move but she found that she couldn't. It took her a long time to realize she was restrained to a table in a lab. Chad walked over holding a tape recorder. "Hellfire is now awake . . . time uhh," he started speaking clearly into the recorder turning to a clock. "2:48 P.M. Subject is stabilized. Three blood samples taken and vaccine 666 has been identified and has fused with her blood giving her immunity to the virus. Drugs 73 and 13 given ten years ago are still identified causing heightened senses and increased body strength. Subjects also still shows signs of anorexia and insomnia, does not affect any of the drugs or vaccine." He shut the recorder off and rubbed Angel's cheek.

"Don't touch me," she said jerking her head away angrily.

"You just don't get it do you?" He pulled his hand away and braced his hands against the table looking down at her. "You're a walking miracle. Why are you angry at Axel for giving you this gift?"

"He brought me in preaching this bullshit to me . . . and after the smoke dies down truth is he's no better then the men he sent me to kill. That shit you put in us could've killed us at any time. Yet Axel approved it for his benefit. That's a wrong in my book."

"So you have the right to kill any body you think has done wrong?"

"Hey don't look at me like I think I'm a god. That's part of the message he preached not me."

"Let me ask you something . . . What did you do to that girl we saved?" She turned her head back to him smiling.

"I let her go . . . Wasn't my place to kill her because I was no better then her."

"Well . . . any indifferences we had are gone. Me and you are gonna figure out why the vaccine and drugs infused with your blood so we can make a cure ok."

"Go to hell," she said hatefully. "You're all infected any way as is . . . you can all burn. If you had a vaccine to this shit you knew it was going to happen. Why didn't Axel stop it?"

"Actually he didn't know. No one knew. We don't know where it came from. What you were giving was a something to try and erase your memories . . . try to make you forget your past. I can't even fathom how it gave you immunity from the virus. It makes no sense. But . . . you're going to quit being a whiny little bitch and help me cure this."

"In your own words . . . fuck you. I let you live you better not make me change my mind. You think you have me locked down? I'm just along for the ride right now. Seems to me since no one knows where this crap came from it was meant to happen."

"Not while I'm alive and kicking. You're selfish and you need to give it up, unlike you I haven't forgot what we're about helping people."

"I want to talk to Axel and you're gonna let me."

"Sure thing Angel." He pushed off the table with an odd grin before going to a table and picking up a syringe.

"Oh hell no!" Angel yelled angrily fighting the restraints with all she had.

"You'll except it at some point." He stuck the needle in her arm with a sour frown and the world around her fell in darkness once again.

She awoke to a dark room unlike the charming little cage she was used to. She had been restrained to a chair with masking tape. "Angel what's gotten into you?" a deep voice called out and the sound of squeaky wheels met her ears. She looked further into the darkness trying to find the source. She knew who it was and it made her angry.

Lights started flickering to life all around her and the source appeared a few feet away from her. It was Axel. He had been a handsome man at one time before the accident, which left most of his face in scars, and he sat in a wheelchair since his legs had been blown off. His gray hair caught the light just right and his brown eyes starred into her red ones.

"Well how do ya' do?" she asked with a fake smile. "What's gotten into me?" she mocked the words as they left her mouth.

"Yes coming in here wanting to kill the man who gave you a life when you had nothing but a bottle and a death wish. I made you someone worth remembering. Now you don't even want to try and solve this new problem that's come up. What happened to you dear?" She nearly hissed at him as she tried lunging forward at him but the chair was bolted to the floor. She tried to make her words hurt as much as the beating she would've gave if she hadn't been strapped down.

"You happened. Yea you may have gave me a purpose but you have lied to me this whole time. You lied to all of us! You know if you had told them and me I wouldn't be mad. You didn't care if this shit killed us." She relaxed back into the chair as he starred at her in deep thought. "You did all this benefiting your need to further this organization. You're no better then the men you had killed . . . You're no better then me. Look at all the men that have died for you!"

"I see it was a bad decision to never tell you but if you really stop and think about it, it was better that way. You have a bad habit of getting revenge and if you found out your minor sicknesses were caused from what we did instead of your own sick mind you would've been a danger. You would've blamed us."

"Minor sicknesses?" Angel yelled. "I can't sleep! I can't eat because of it! I blame you because it is your fault! Because of you Lunar is dead! I told you I could've handled that job on my own and I would've!" He changed the subject quickly.

"What happened to Sunny?" Angel let her anger fall away some then.

"He was bit . . . he asked me to shoot him . . . so I did."

"A tragedy it is . . . what I didn't know at the time is the vaccine fused with his blood as well." Angel looked up then shell shocked. A few moments passed.

"What?" she finally asked unable to process any other word.

"If you hadn't shot him he would've lived. You did the right thing though. You didn't know. I would've never sent him out if I had known." She hung her head in defeat then with a few silent tears. Nothing was said for the longest time until Angel started fighting the tape and kicking around violently yelling angrily.

"Fuck you! It's not true! I'm going to kill you!" He said nothing only watched as she fought without any success.

"Angel please stop this it's no ones fault. You did the right thing." She started crying then before going into a laughing fit. She spit on him and he wheeled forward slapping her hard and she continued laughing.

"Axel I'm going to kill you . . . this world ain't big enough for you any more." She gave a demonic smile starring him in the eyes. "Not for you and me both and I'm not dieing any time soon."

Day 157

Tiny walked in front of the cage carrying a bottle of water. He set it down through the bars before taking a seat on the white tile. Angel crawled to the bars grabbing up the water. They sat by each other for a long time in silence. "Give you a cigarette for some answers," he finally said pulling out a pack of menthols and set them on the floor in front of himself.

"What do you want to know?" she asked drinking a big swallow of the water. Angel's arms were covered in bandages where Chad had been taking blood and shooting her full of drugs. She never bothered to take them off.

"Why do they take you to the lab everyday? I read the files and I saw where they started shooting drugs into me. Had to cut it off because I started showing signs of hypothermia even though it's hot as hell here and back at the old base. But why do they take you to the lab?"

"I'm immune to the virus going around. The reason I can't hardly eat or sleep is because of the drugs they pumped me with, everything fused with my blood. Fucked up my mind a bit more too." She reached through the bars and grabbed the pack taking one out and let it hang loosely from her lips. He offered her a lighter as well and she lit it. She pulled the chemicals deep into her lungs and relaxed against the wall.

"That's why you want to kill Axel so bad?"

"Yep . . . he ain't no better then the men we've killed Tiny. He manipulates and cheats to get what he wants. Bet you two hundred dollars half the men we killed was so he could get his hands on some of those drugs himself."

"I heard you had to shoot Sunny." Angel teared up a bit at that point.

"Yea. He got bit and . . . he asked me to didn't even have a chance to bury him because he wanted me to go find a little girl we saved at the beginning of it all." She quickly wiped any tears away that threatened to pool over.

"Where's the little girl now?"

"Don't know . . . I was with a group of people and we got over runned I handed over to some of them that were getting out of there in a vehicle. I got separated myself trying to help this girl. I don't know if she made it either. I made a lot of stupid decisions then. It just happened so fast I let instinct take over."

"No one could make those kind of choices except you. You always taught us be quick on your feet and stop only when you could. I could never do it . . . If something went wrong I might as well been caught shittin' in the woods with my pants down." They laughed a bit then before Angel put her cigarette out on the tile and picked her water back up taking a swallow.

Tiny reached in closer. "I'm getting you out of here tonight," he whispered. "I want you to take your stuff and go. Get the hell out of here ok." Before she could say anything he left as quickly as he came.

She returned to her bed and waited. No one came to take her to the lab today. At some point Tiny came back with a set of keys. His movements were clumsy, a dead give away that he was scared. "Angel get up. They know!" She got up quick and he opened the door throwing in a bag with her clothes that had been clean and her weapons. He quickly fled away to give her privacy to change. She wasted no time in getting dressed. She ran out the cell and Tiny joined her. "Come on," he ordered taking her arm and headed for an exit door.

She pulled away from his grip with a bit of effort. "No," she said. "We're going to end this now!" She turned away and ran in the other direction searching for Axel's office. The man she hadn't recognized from her arrival on the first day jumped out from a corner tackling her to the floor. Tiny quickly came to her aid and got the man off of her before knocking him out.

"Angel you have to go," he said matter of factly letting the man he knocked out slide to the floor gently. Angel turned then and starred up at Tiny.

"No I'm ending this. This is the reason I came. A liar is the worst kind of man in my book and Axel has written his own name in cast iron stone . . . I can't let it go."

"I can't let you do it alone," he finally said taking out his own knife and led the way. She quickly followed behind. They rounded a corner and Tiny opened a door urging her to follow in after him. She went through first with Tiny on her heel. They were in a small well-decorated office.

Angel wasted no time admiring the decor but swayed to the left and went through another door with Tiny quietly following her every move. The man trusted her enough not to get them killed. Men always told stories of Angel's bravery and leadership in sticky situations. How she would take bullets for a comrade and carry them out of a battlefield showing no signs of ever being injured. After Lunar showed back up in a body bag she downed herself. It was the first time anyone that went on a job with her was killed and it rattled her. In Tiny's eyes she was a hero though and if she wanted to kill Axel he should help her carry it through.

Axel looked up from some type of book as they stormed in the room. "Ah," Axel said placing the book away slowly as if he had no worry in the world. "I was waiting for you two. So how can I help you today?" Angel pushed him back and he fell out of his wheelchair but still made no sign of being worried. Angel stood over him holding her machete to his neck.

"Axel this is the day, the day you pay for all the men that laid down their lives on your word. The man that trusted you and you lied to. It's your end." Out of no where a needle pierced her neck and she tried to stab the blade into the man's heart but her nerves were unresponsive. She finally fell back as her legs collapsed. The world was just a big blur for a while until she awakened strapped to a chair once again in the same dark room.

One light flickered to life and Tiny was in the same position as herself. She looked up a bit dizzy as someone walked under the light. It was Jeff, the six foot tall man wore camouflage as if mimicking an army officer.

"Jeff," Angel said weakly through gritted teeth. "What are you doing?" He was sliding a clip into a small pistol. Tiny just watched silently refusing to show any fear.

"Do it!" Axel's voice yelled out from somewhere in the darkness.

"No!" Angel screamed and began slashing around violently in her chair as Jeff placed the barrel of the gun to Tiny's fore head.

"I'm sorry Tiny," Jeff said before he pulled the trigger and the man went limp. Jeff walked out of the light with a down cast face that seemed defeated.

"No!" Angel yelled as loudly and as long as her lungs would allow. She finally pulled the bolted chair from the ground falling hard against the floor. She kicked herself over to the man screaming and yelling promises of death to the man that had walken away. After a while Axel made his presence known by coming into view under the light. "You sorry piece of shit!" Angel screamed kicking around trying to hit him or do something that would hurt.

Her attempts gave her no satisfaction as she made it to her feet just to fall back down. Chad came into view next and gave her a shot of sedative and the world went black again.


	14. Revenga

**So Chapter 14! Took a little while but I got it done. Sorry it's short. I've decided to end the story right here but wait don't get mad quite yet. There will be a part two.**

**So how bout some sweet revenge yea? Enjoy :)**

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**Chapter Fourteen: Revenga**

_Take the time just to listen_  
_When the voices screaming are much too loud_  
_Take a look in the distance_  
_Try and see it all_

_What's it feel like?_  
_Took the wrong route_  
_Watch it fall apart_  
_Now you're knockin' at the wrong gate_

_For you to pay the toll_  
_A price for you alone_  
_The only deal you'll find_  
_I'll gladly take your soul_

Day 163

Angel only saw red from then. Anyone who she came in contact with she wanted to kill. In her eyes they all had done wrong. Even Jeff and it was a tough pill to swallow because she trained him. They fought together, laughed, cried, and had stories together. Her angry always came back to Axel though; if it weren't for him Jeff would've never done such a thing.

There had been another cell besides Angel's and when she woke up she found that it was occupied. She went to the bars as she heard a faint whisper from the neighboring cell. "Hey," she called out weakly. The whispering went on and she trained all her senses to that one faint line. It sounded almost like praying. She got angry then.

"Hey!" she yelled this time and kicked the wall as hard as she could with her bare foot. "I'm talking to you! Answer me!" It sounded like a threat more then anything.

"Threats and kicking walls won't get you far," a feminine voice called out softly. It was deep and calm. She recognized it immediately as a woman's voice. Angel took a deep breath before latching onto the bars once again.

"Why are you here?"

"From what that one man tells me the same reason you're here. To kill that sorry scum or at least make him pay."

"Why? What did he do to you?"

"Does it really matter? The way I see it we have a common motive here . . . We could work together to carry it out."

"Let me think about that. Umm . . . no. This is a solo act and I'm doing it myself." She pushed away from the bars and flopped down on the bed. "This is my job," she said lowly falling back and closing her eyes.

"That man was right about you . . . he said you were full of yourself. I've yet to see what he meant by 'bat shit crazy'."

"Trust me sweet heart you ain't seen anything yet. I don't know your motives or why you want to cash his wolf ticket so bad but this is my gig, don't try and steal my solo."

"Seems to me you're just as stuck as me. I've heard stories of you the infamous Angel Hellfire that has brought down armies in her wake all in the name of bringing peace . . . but after you look at it hard enough you see that you're only making it worse."

"Yea well in this day in age with the dead up and about my story doesn't mean dowdily fucking do. You know my name so it's only proper for you to give me yours." A long silence passed before an answer ever came.

"It's Aylen." Angel stood up then laughing.

"Well Aylen how do you fucking do?" Her laughter faded and was replaced by a feral anger. "How fucking stupid are you? Coming in here and getting yourself caught! Stupid bitch!" Angel fell back on the bed punching the air before going into a fit of laughter finding the little gesture humorous. "If you had any god damn sense you would've ran from this place. I have some good plans though and this is going to end tomorrow one way another."

"And there's the insanity and babbling I've heard you're prone to," the woman said giving a faint smile Angel couldn't see.

"Fuck you!" Angel yelled pushing herself up for a moment before falling back down. "You'll see why my name travels and bad men crawl under rocks at the mention of it." So maybe she was becoming a bit full of herself but it aided the fire burning within her deeply.

"So what's your plan?"

"Can't tell you . . . but if you can make a commotion tomorrow after someone comes and gets me it'd help a lot." The woman in the next cell grew quiet and said no more and Angel found it stupid to carry the conversation out any further.

Day 164

Angel gave no fight to the sedative Chad had given her. She just hoped it would wear off before she ended up back in the small cell once again. She had awaken but she stayed still and gave no sign that she was awake as the scientist carried out his routine of speaking into his little tape recorder.

She'd stay quiet until he would turn his back for her to study the room and it contents. It was a typical mad scientist's lab but the first thing she noticed besides the pistol Chad had tucked in the elastic of his pants was the small table just an arms reach away that had scalpels and knifes scattered about it. She'd never reach it.

She closed eyes once again as Chad turned around from some of his work. An alarm went off and he ran out the door and it slammed angrily behind him. "Good girl," Angel said lowly before she began rocking back and forth and after a few minutes the 100-pound table turned over and Angel fell with it.

It just so happened her hand was caught under it and it broke all her bones. She mentally ran the pain away paying it no mind as she slipped the limp hand through the strap without complication.

She quickly undid the other straps and fell off the sideways table landing on her feet. She quickly stood then knowing she was running out of time. She picked up a hammer that was conveniently placed on a desk. She placed herself by the door flat against the wall and waited.

Chad ran back through the door stumbling at the sight that she was gone. Angel gave away her cover before hitting him in the temple with the blunt hammer. He instantly collapsed to the floor. Angel stopped then long enough to grab the pistol before she grabbed a nearby rag and bit down on it. She held her limp hand out before cracking bones back in place the best she could before she rapped the rag around the worst spots making a shitty excuse for a cast.

She then fled quickly keeping close to the wall holding the pistol ready to shoot at any one who got in her way. Turning a corner Jeff pulled a gun on her and she held hers pointed at his head. Tears invaded her eyes then. "Why Jeff?" she practically cried. "Tiny was our brother and you just shot him like it was nothing. How could you?"

"Angel I . . ." He fell to his knees then throwing his pistol down. He grabbed both sides of his head and cried out loudly. "I was following Axel . . . that's all I've ever known since my last life. I just . . . did it." He looked up laughing a bit then. Angel said nothing only starred at him with tears pooling over and down her cheeks.

"You could've stood in the corner screaming with me," She mumbled before she shot him in the head. She quickly wiped her tears before continuing on. She went into Axel's office gun raised.

Aylen stood in front of Axel holding two long knifes that appeared to be Kyle Griffon knives except twice the size. For the first time Angel saw the woman, all six foot of her. She was tall and thin and appeared to be from a native American decent with naturally tanned skin, long brown hair, and dark brown eyes. She had taken out the man Angel hadn't recognized. He had been stabbed through the eyes both now destroyed orbs pooling blood. Angel looked back forward.

She quietly moved forward making no sound as the two carried out a heated conversation she paid no mind to. She stood right behind the woman bringing the back of the pistol around knocking her out cold. Axel smiled at Angel, still acting like nothing in the world was wrong. "Thanks for coming to the rescue," Axel said crossing his hands on the desk. Angel scoffed at that.

"Sure thing boss," She replied sarcastically before laughing. She then frowned giving him a cold look. "What did you do to her?"

"It's none of your concern."

"You're right! But what is my concern is the shit you've done to me and my fallen brothers!" She then pushed the desk with him behind it against the wall trapping him. She then dragged and unconscious Aylen out the door and locked it behind her. Axel had tried pushing the desk off of him with a lot of effort. Angel quickly restrained him by pushing the desk harder and knocking the wind out of him.

He began to look a bit concerned then. Angel started pacing then not knowing what to do with herself. "Be honest," she finally said coming stop a sudden stop from her pacing and starred the man down. "Half the men we killed was for those fucking drugs wasn't it? Chad's too fucking stupid to come up with shit like that."

"I don't owe you a fucking answer! You owe me your life! You're scum just like all the others I brought in. It made you the perfect candidates for the perfection process. I picked all the ones that had absolutely nothing else to live for . . . no family or loved ones to hold them back. I needed soldiers . . . and you became the perfect one. You did as you were told never asking questions because you believed in the greater good."

Angel leaped on top the desk before kicking him hard in the chest. "You're right old man! But I'll get my fucking answers one way or another!" She kicked him again before he coughed up a bit of blood.

"The drugs made you what you are! You should be thanking me! I made you the closest to perfect you could ever be!"

"Men died for you Axel! And you treat it as if that what you deserved!"

"Those men were trash . . . the world had no need for them I gave them purpose in their miserable lives."

"No they were people! Loyal men that would do anything for innocent people! Kill for them! Die for them! It was never you! You place yourself amongst gods and it's time for a god to fall by the hands of the reaper!" Angel laughed before bringing the pistol out and shooting all the bullets in his chest. She then jumped down from the desk and grabbed up one of Aylen's knives before throwing it and it stuck right in between his eyes. "See you on the other side boss."

She then grabbed up a bag in the corner. She opened it seeing all her clothes inside with that small little gold chain holding that demonic cross on top in a neat pile. She quickly stripped off the cheap paper gown and put on her clothes saving the cross for last. She then clipped the knives on her belt and went and sat down on the desk starring back at Axel's body ever so often.

Someone began beating on the door and Angel knew it was Aylen. "I can hear you knocking," Angel mocked fiddling with her broken hand. "But you can't come in." She laughed. Angel took the knife from Axel's head and the other laying on the floor before kicking them under the door. The beating deceased and everything grew calm.

She finally gained peace of mind to leave the small room. She turned around after opening the door one last time. She looked at Axel's body. "I guess you died for what you believed in. That's your redemption, now you may lay with my fallen brothers," She said lowly. "Lay with the fallen soldiers they'll save you from the fires of Hell. And tell them I'll see them again one day . . . they'll forgive you. I have to forgive you now that you're dead."

See turned then slamming the door behind her. The sweet taste of revenge cradled her mind for the moment. It wasn't time to stop though she made her way back to the lab seeing the door had been locked. She kicked the metal door in with hardly any effort. Chad held a knife up in a corner. He looked scared. Angel humorously jumped at him with a 'boo' and he jumped back farther in his corner.

She turned seeing a single clip on the counter and she swiped it up clipping it into the gun before looking back at Chad. "Ok you're going to fix my hand," she said holding out her limp hand. "You're going to take a few more samples of my blood. And you know what then?"

"What?" he whispered lowly not daring to look in her eyes.

"You're gonna hook me up with some ammo then I'm leaving. You're going to stay here and find that cure." He slowly set his knife down before going to a desk pulling out a large box. He lifted it up on the top with a bit of effort.

"I can do that . . . Did you get what you came for Hellfire?" She looked at him for a long silent moment with a small weak smile.

"Closest I could get . . . what do you believe in Chad?" The question caught him off guard and for a moment he fiddled with his hands nervously looking at the floor.

"Helping people that can't help themselves." Angel nodded walking over and jumping on top a table. Chad flinched away before taking a deep breath and opening the box.

"Would you die for that Chad?" Angel rested the pistol in her lap giving him a side ways glance as he started taking out different bags with wrappings and medical supplies. He hesitantly took her hand examining it thoroughly.

"Haven't we all? Everyone from here believes in something. Even you as sick and twisted as it may be . . .We're all on the same boat with our last breath we'll carry out what we were taught."

"Right . . . I hope you know the reason you don't have a bullet in your head right now." She flinched as he continued feeling her fingers and she bit her lip looking down at her hand.

"You needed someone to fix your hand." He guessed quickly before returning to the bags and taking out large amounts of wrapping and brought them over taking her hand and wrapping it tightly.

"Yes I guess . . . the first thought was though I don't think you've suffered enough to die yet. Even Axel suffered a life of misery. All of us had. I guess maybe . . . I'm just trying to put us on the boat for the after life whatever it may be."

"Like one big fucked up family? Hate for you to be my sister." She had to smile at that. He finished wrapping her hand and brought out an ivy and test tubes. He stuck a needle into her veins and got five full vials before putting a bandage over her hand and placing the vials in a small box. "So you're leaving me alone here?" he asked half way looking at her.

"Does that bother you?"

"Yes it does but I wouldn't want your company."

"Well that's good because I wasn't going to give you the pleasure." She grabbed up an empty bag from the corner and ordered him out the door. He led her down several hallways before opening a door and leading the way. She followed him and found herself in an Armory full of guns and ammo. All assorted neatly. She quickly plucked an automatic shotgun, a set of dual machetes, and a hunting knife off the shelf before grabbing up as much ammo as her bag could carry.

He then led her to the same door she had entered the facility in so long ago.

She walked through into blinding light as he held the door open for her. She stopped and turned looking at Chad. Neither smiled only frowned. "Goodbye Chad," she said lowly pulling the bag more securely to her shoulder. He gave a small nod.

"Your car is around front. I'll open the gate when you get ready to leave." He then let go of the door and it closed shut behind him. She watched until his silhouette disappeared down the hallway behind the closed door. She turned back and began walking toward the patched fence. She quickly snatched up all her belongings, supplies and weapons out of the Maverick.

She patched the fence back up before returning inside and proceeded around the large building. She gave a loud short whistle and Mutt came running from around a corner. He stopped giving a long howl before catching her tempo and walked beside her. The rocks crunched under their feet. Angel turned one corner and there set her blacked out 1967 Camaro. She quickly jogged the rest of the way to the car.

She slung the door open grabbing up her keys before Mutt jumped in the passenger seat happily. Angel opened the trunk and threw all her belongs in besides her weapons, which she strapped on then. She quickly plundered through the bags picking out a small Slim Jim and a bottle of water. She quickly slammed the hood down and jumped under the wheel slamming the door shut behind her.

She stopped long enough to give her faithful companion the small treat before cranking the car to life. She revved the engine a few times happy to be reuniting with her baby. She quickly threw it in reverse kicking up rocks as she backed up before throwing it in drive and waited for the gate to open. She looked over and noticed a whole carton of cigarettes sitting on the middle console.

She quickly swiped them up and opened a pack from inside lighting one up happily. She popped a Soil tape in the CD player and the music blasted out of the marvelous sound system. She was happy once again. Chad opened the gates from some control room in the building. She quickly sped out. She looked in her rear view mirror seeing the gate close. She pulled on a set of sun shades before speeding up and throwing her elbow out the window. Her limp hand holding her cigarette without any protest. It was time to go back home.

* * *

_I own none of the walking dead references or characters but everything else is from me... _

_There will be a part two coming soon._


End file.
